Can a 'Friends With Benefits' relationship ever turn into a serious relationship?

I have this friend, who is a ‘friend with benefits’. Honestly, I am not a slut by any means and this is the only person I’m currently sleeping with. But like I said he is completely a FWB. I have no problem with it, in fact I like our little relationship. It’s very private and it’s like there is not much emotion with it. Yeah, I know what his intentions are with me. But I mean, me and him get along great! I really enjoy being with him. The only problem was when I saw him at the bar… is was kind of weird? I wouldn’t mind actually dating him though! I don’t know if we will ever start dating but I was kind of wondering if FWB relationships ever turn into anything serious.

Okay maybe I should give a little bit more detail about our situation. We’ve been messing around for 9 months now. He and I have known each other for most of our lives. Both of our families know each other. I have fun with him, and he is very nice!
Wow! I have gotten so many replies! Here is the little update… We haven’t spoken in almost 2 months because I found out he had another girlfriend the entire time! Isn’t that something? That explains everything. I took off all communication. Thanks guys!


Most Helpful Girl

  • no. run. he`s a d*** who doesn`t wanna commit himself to you. Mum, Dad- how did you get to know each other?- Oh that`s easy we were f***buddies for about 10 months and then we fell in love?! ever heard that? me neither. forget about him.

    • Hahaha, good way of looking at it.

    • Ha yh :) I had a f*** bud and I wanted to be with him but he was suchhh a d***. so I dumped him and moved on, and now I found the guy I've been waiting for. really. you don't deserve being treated like that :)

    • Lol, I love your example. So true.

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Guys Said 15

  • Most of the time, FWB situations end up with at least one of the people wanting to turn it into something more. So yes, it can happen, but I wouldn't push a relationship or try to "convince" him with logic that you two should be together. You have to plant the idea in his head that you would be great to date too. You can do that by being seen as a high value person, i.e. someone a lot of guys also are considering to have a relationship with. Don't try to make him jealous, but do make sure he knows you're not locked into anything with him other than your current arrangement.

  • Friends with benefits is retarded and almost always ends with someone getting hurt. If it does turn into an actual relationship the chances of it lasting are absurd.

  • Yes. Mine did.

    He has to find other things about you also interesting. At some point you have to push for more.

  • Oh dear, you mean you expect a guy who doesn't want to commit himself to you, doesn't want your baggage, problems, nagging, rules, arguments or YOU in general except for being his free sex to change his views on you from being an easy ride into something more?

    What a naive girl you really are, stick to being his f*** buddy or move on to find someone for a real relationship and stop being a freebie because if he wanted more you wouldn't be 'friends with benefits' in the first place.

  • There is no such thing as "friends with bennies" it another way of saying you aren't serious about looking for someone and want somebody anyways. This apply's to anyone who wants a friend with bennies.

    Boy friend + girl friend

    married + unmarried

    Friends with Ben. is like a one night stand but extended.

    • I wanted to apologize for the directness of my comment, please do find it to forgive such blunt behaviors.+

    • This is so true. I've found myself in two different friends with benefits situations and I kept asking myself why does this always happen to me!? ...thinking I wanted more, a serious relationship. Then I finally realized it was actually me who was afraid of commitment and intimacy. Afraid of really putting myself out there and being vulnerable to someone. When you're truly ready for a relationship it will come. Me, I wasn't ready so I kept giving the signals of someone not wanting anything serious (unconsciously)

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What Girls Said 29

  • The critical thing that you need for a relationship is feelings. You have to connect on an emotional level. Now all FWB situations have some level of consideration for the other person, it is not totally void of feelings in that sense. But that is not what you have when you move into a relationship.

    Dating is for getting to know someone and you two already know each other in a few ways, but in the end you would need to let him know that you would like more, that you enjoy him beyond just wanting FWB and see what he has to say about it. He may really enjoy the lack of strings attached to a relationship. Face it, with FWB he has no one to answer to. He can hang with friends, go out when he wants and, yes, even hookup with other girls if he felt like it. Just be open to the idea that he may really want to keep things the way they are.

  • Well 9 months is a long time.. plus we can't tell unless we re also there .. there are sweet little thing that he might that tells you that there a slight chance that this could turn into a relationship...

    I suggest you open up with him and tell him how you feel.. but make sure that he doesn't go all crazy and awkward about it if he doesn't want to..

    Why don't you cook him dinner and spend a night together without actually ending up having sexy together.. just talk and open up ... this could tell you, you know!

  • I think friends with benefits is the dumbest thing in the world. If you only want to f*** one person and like spending time with them, why not just date them instead of being FWB? You're going to put yourself through so much heartache if this guy doesn't want to date you back and you fall for him.

    If I was a guy, I wouldn't date a girl who was my FWB. I mean, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

  • Good for you. I just read your first post and that is the first thing that went through my mind. A FWB does not equal commitment, quite the opposite actually. Just because you aren't sleeping with anyone else, does not mean he isn't. You did the right thing though. Cold Turkey is how to treat dogs!

  • So let me get this straight you are confusing an FWB with an F-buddy?

    From where I stand - if there is no basis for friendship outside of the scope of the sex -- then I would suggest that you are just an f-buddy with an acquaintence.

    Ok... that being said - is it possible for more? Sure - if it something you BOTH want and decide upon. Clearly you wouldn't have posted this question unless you were thinking of wanting a serious relationship. However you conversely want to detach yourself emotionally and enjoy that part of your current situation. That is confusing and really not compatible.

    Now, ask yourself... is this something he WANTS? Has ever broached the subject? Have you ever been outside of the bedroom? Gone on dates? Done anything remotely romantic?

    I would suggest asking him if he would like to go out for coffee... or see a flick or something. Try to initiate contact outside of the bedroom and see where it goes. Who knows -- after being outside of the bedroom you may have quite the different perception of one-another. Great sex doesn't always translate into great relationship.

    Play safe.

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