Can't get over Fuck buddy.. Jealous and feeling lonely. What should I do?

[Girlaskingdudes]

I've dated a guy at my school. He's 22 and I was 18 at the time. we knew each other for months then we started to get closer. We dated for a week and that's when we got seriously physical. Turning 19, I had my first kiss and gave my first blowjob. We continued to go out to places and he'd buy me dinner and take me to movies. i remember when I asked him if we were together, he told me he wasn't exactly sure of what he wanted. i didn't know either but I was starting to feel very attracted to him. Everytine we had oral sex, he'd ask me when are we going to have sex for real. He kept on pushing me to have sex with him. Weeks later he convinced me that he liked me so I gave him my body. I had sex for the first time and it was great. We had sex daily, for weeks, for months. After that, I noticed he stopped contacting me to go out and eat. I noticed he stopped asking me out to places or hang outs. He would only ask me if I could give him a blowjob or if we can have sex. We broke up when I confronted him. His exact words were "I'm sorry for leading you on. I thought I could like you so I gave us a chance, but im afraid I'll hurt you later on because I'm not feeling the same as you." Strangely he gave me a hug, a passionate kiss, and had sex. I thought it was the last physical contact we would ever have. But I was wrong. After weeks of not contactig each other he messaged me and said really perverted things. As a desperate idiot that I am, I messaged him back. He then asked for sex again. I drove to his place and we had sex but then he reminded me "this doesn't mean anything, okay? We are just friends" Now he only messages me when he's horny. He's been hanging out with another girl and I'm afraid to lose him. He's been with that girl yesterday in class but he left her to have sex with me. (?) How can I make him love me... ? is it safe if he's having sex with other girls? What can I do to get his attention? What do you think is going on in his mind?

[vmw2008]

Well first of all, I'm sorry your first time had to be with someone who messed with your emotions so badly. You're hooked because he's your first and you're associating all this good sex and emotions with him. You don't want it to stop.

But second of all, you need to stop seeing him. Like completely. I'm very surprised you were able to still sleep with him after he told you he didn't have feelings for you (this would have turned me off completely), but apparently the sex is pretty good and you want to be close to him regardless.

You know what you have to do. He's been honest about his lack of feelings toward you, and he's using you for sex. You're never going to tie him down this way. He will never commit to you this way. I don't know that he ever will regardless at this point, because he gave it time of dates and such and he's just not feeling it.

the BEST thing you can do to grab his attention is to cut this off. Stop contacting him and definitely stop sleeping with him. That will get his attention. BUT if you're doing it in the hopes you'll actually be together, you're wasting your time. The most you can hope for at this point is to get some respect and shock him a little. That's the most that will happen, but you need to do it for your own sake. You're hurting yourself allowing him to have you when he's telling you he doesn't like you.

[Girlaskingdudes]

At first I regretted having sex with him. But I know now that I don't need to have a man to own my body so I ignore the concept of virginity. Maybe that is why I don't value my body as much anymore. Thank you so much for answering. A lot of what you said was true and you made me realize something that I did not know. I'm hurting myself.

[Anonymous]

It really breaks my heart to read your question, I'm gonna be honest with you you should stop calling or texting him because he is only using you for sex he doesn't love you or take you seriously Because since the beginning he only wanted your body, live yourself girl try to get him out of your heart you deserve someone who loves you, respect you and need you for you not for sex I really wish you the best and be strong if he wants to go out with another girl be strong let him but put your dignity and yourself first

[Girlaskingdudes]

Thank you, that was a really comforting message.

[Miss_Rendezvous]

Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, HIV, HPV, Scabies, and Syphilis should convince you.

[Anonymous]

Here is what you need to do, it is going to sound severe but you absolutely must do it all. Text him saying you want to bang, go over and say I need to talk first say this word for word "I understand you just want to be fuck buddies but I can't be just fuck buddies anymore I need something more with you I have actual feelings for you and if you don't have those feelings for me I don't want to waste my time with you." Now this guy may do one of two things he manipulated you before so I wouldn't be surprised if he did it again but what he may say is "Yes I feel the same I'd want to be something more after all." If he says this DO NOT ABSOLUTELY DO NOT have sex with him, say, "Okay then lets start going on dates again." and then you can stay and hang out but don't do anything sexual with him. He also may say "No I'm sorry all I want is to be fuck buddies." If he says that you should probably straight up leave and then decide if you want to be fuck buddies then you should start texting him to bang don't let him text you and obviously if you don't want to be fuck buddies just leave and never talk with him again.

[Albieback]

Fuck buddies looselytranslated means free prostitute. You were a free cum dumpster. He doesn't see any value in you other than somewhere to store his spunk temporarily. Please learn not to do this again and somehow learn to pick your self esteem out of the gutter yourself. No guy can do it for you! Also These guys that do this to women are abominations!!! I hate them all

[Opinion Owner]

@Albieback Realistically if you are down to just bang a guy and want nothing more than that's fine but if you're looking to date a guy out of it you're not in the right space.

[Albieback]

Guys know that women don't like to get 'used' They just can't help themselves to the myth that is NSA sex

[Ersacol28]

@albieback damn you're very harsh but true advise tho

[Opinion Owner]

@Ersacol I agree her advice kind of made me feel bad but it was good lol. @Albieback What do you mean but that second sentence?

[Misterjay02]

Listen here. That guy was using you. He clearly was just after sex. That's all it was to him. You were a conquest.
By looking at the evidence you have, he alway brought up sex when you too were together, and when you finally gave it to him, he stopped trying. Then he pretty much "let you go" by saying he doesn't know what he wants. He only messages you whenever he wants to have sex. And since you aren't providing it anymore, he's looking for another girl who will.
Sweetie do not talk to him, do not chase him and never have sex with him him again. He is a player. A selfish, jerk, who uses girls. Guys like that will not change, and cannot be manipulated to do so. As hard as it will be, forget and move on. he will never show you any respect. You're an object to him. You deserve bette.

[Albieback]

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!

[Misterjay02]

It's unfortunately something that a lot of guys do now adays. An when I say a lot, I mean a lot. And I hate that about us. I've never done that to a girl and never will. I consider myself one of the good guys and Always have tried to be. But for some reason so many young girls go for guys who have absolutely no interest in them and I will never understand why.

[L_gant]

Man if you knew what it was like you would get what this dude was dealing with.

[Girlaskingdudes]

Thanks. I respect you so much.

[alenx619]

you can't make him love you now since he has too much leverage on you. std are a possibilities but to get his attention you could stop giving him sex and only do it if he gives you something you want. he is probably thinking about the other girl since his curiosity for what the sex will be like with her is high. all i can say is u gave him sex for what he gave you and if u want more then take something he wants away from him although it might be too late because he is talking to girls. unless the other girls are just his way of gaining more leverage on you cus he really doesn like them.

[I_M_LEGEND]

unless you're super gorgoues, you can't make a guy fall for you if you gave him your best already... I've had girls fuck me on first dates. i didn't think highly of them at all

[Girlaskingdudes]

Thanks for answering. Although that's probably what my fuck buddy would say.

[I_M_LEGEND]

there are rules in life which makes us wise... and sometimes there's no easy way out...

[Anonymous]

You are nothing but a lukewarm hole between your legs that he can put his dick in to him (serious). If you want to continue casual sex go ahead, but he doesn't see you as someone to love.

[Anonymous]

you can always try and meet and date other people. its possible this is more a friends with benefits thing than an actual relationship and maybe your looking for something more than what this guy is offering