My boyfriend likes to eat me out more than he likes blow jobs. Is this normal? Maybe I'm just bad at oral?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, so I'm definitely not complaining that he likes to go down on me (he's really good at it), but I don't get to give him oral in return as much as I'd like to. Like for every 5 times he eats me out, he only wants 1 blow job for example. I'm wondering if he just doesn't like oral sex or if he doesn't like what I'm doing (he's my first partner). I didn't think a guy would ever refuse oral sex. He'll go down on me and then jump right into the sex afterwards without hesitating. How do I get him to want me to go down on him more? I feel like he's missing out and that he's doing all the work.

[ThinkingHead]

Don't question it too deeply! LOL. He might be like me... I love taking a girl over the top orally, getting her super wet so that penetration is diving into the wettest, most wonderful place in the world. I like a really good BJ, and I always appreciate the effort and the result. Often, though, I'd rather get her super primed and absolutely requiring (demanding) penetration, and when she's that ready and wanting, sinking into her and totally getting into it.

Plus, you might have a particularly beautiful vagina and be super tasty, and with that, he might be thinking of nothing all day but snacking on your sweetness! Enjoy the ride, and remind him how much you enjoy his skills when you get your chance.

[Asker]

I know. I tend to over think things way too much. I'm guessing this is really why he does it.

[ThinkingHead]

You might be! So I guess posing the question is helpful. Next time you're having an orgasm beneath his tongue, think back to this question, and you probably have your answer! LOL.

[Orion1084]

I don't know if it's "normal" or not, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily strange, per se. I am the same way as your guy, actually. I prefer going down on my girl, because I enjoy giving her pleasure, and seeing her squirm.

It's not that I don't like blowjobs, they feel great, but a lot of women have had trouble going down on me. As a result, I get somewhat apprehensive when it happens now, and I spend more time thinking about her (dis) comfort while blowing me. Thus, I have a hard time relaxing enough to enjoy it.

It's just much more enjoyable, and less stressful, for me to just go down on her, that's all. It's not a reflection of her skills at all; it's just the way my brain works.

[Asker]

Yeah, it's possible that his previous girlfriends didn't like it so he thinks that I don't like it.

[Orion1084]

That's very possible. Have you talked to him about it?

[Asker]

A few times but the more I think about it, the more I think he really just does have a preference for going down on me.

[Man_Over_Game]

Actually, I'm the same way as well. I'd much rather prefer going down on her than the other way around. Not entirely sure why. Haven't gotten any complaints though.

[tinyclit]

If he thinks you're bad at oral, then he should teach you how to be good at oral (with him).

[Asker]

He doesn't think I'm bad though. I can make him cum with oral. His preferred way to cum is through sex and I'm fine with that (it's how I like it too and we are always safe). I just think that way because he refuses most of the time. He has taught me everything I know. I was just wondering why he may not like it and why he prefers going down on me instead.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like maybe he just prefers intercourse. No biggie.

[Opinion Owner]

I for one, prefer being fingered to getting oral. It just stimulates me better. We're all different.

[Asker]

I think you're right. I'd just like to reciprocate more than I do.

[Klaatu51]

of course it is

i prefer giving oral than receiving too

[Asker]

I gathered that from all the answers ;)

[zorro8888]

I'm a giver, so I'm always happy to go down and pleasure a girl. It doesn't mean you're bad lol I'm sure you're a great dick sucker lol that sounded mean :P

[Asker]

lol well I like to think I am good at it.

[zorro8888]

Haha nothing wrong with that at all. You should be proud you have skills that can make your man happy just like he should do the same :)

[Asker]

I just wish he wanted it more!

[zorro8888]

Haha the same way he wants to constantly eat you out it's time for you to take charge lol When he comes home one day... Just push him on a bed/chair and tell him you want to take care of him/suck his... until he cums on (insert place where you/he like it) Lol make it fun, tease each other. It's great when people are happy about pleasing their partner.

[Asker]

Yeah I could try that, for sure. Maybe when he gets home later...

[zorro8888]

See there you go! Make things fun haha if you want to make him excited all day start sexting him about what you want to do to him when he comes back

[Asker]

Lol yeah we do a lot of sexting already. I think I can tease him and make him want it. I hope.

[zorro8888]

Read up on some online examples make it better than the past lol I know you can :D Be persuasive lol

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yes i rather eat girl out than get a blow job totally normal

[Asker]

I see!

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yeah

[Asker]

This seems to be the general opinion among guys here so thank you.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

You're Welcome:) My therapist told me not to be selfish to myself sexually by just wanting to be the giver in a relationship instead of letting it be both ways well all i can say that's the way i see things.. I like to give a girl oral and finger her :))

[Michael-in-SC]

No, I'm exactly the same way. It feels good, I just don't cum that way. I'd rather be the giver. Does he give a reason?

[Asker]

Not really, and I've tried to talk about it. He just says that going down on me is enough. Making him cum with oral isn't my goal although when I do give it to him, he usually always cums that way. Then like 10 minutes later he's ready for sex.

[Michael-in-SC]

While I can understand your frustration, if he says going down on you is enough, that might just mean it brings more pleasure to him than getting head. Does he have an issues with 69'ing? There are also some psychological possibilities, like maybe he experimented with a guy when he was younger and feels guilty about being sucked, but it's unlikely he would admit to such issues even if he recognized them. We guys are difficult animals to figure out sometimes. Don't take it personally, especially if you've had "success" in that area with him previously.

[Asker]

I guess so. He doesn't have a problem with 69 but it's just awkward to multitask like that. He's never had experience with a guy and he's never been sexually assaulted so it's not a hangup like that or anything.

[Michael-in-SC]

Well, he says he hasn't. A LOT of guys do and then never, ever talk about it again. How long have you two been together? I believe there could be some kind of hangup there. The only question is how much of a deal do you want to make of it? If this is your only issue with him, I'd say you've got it pretty good. 😂

[Asker]

Maybe he had an experience with another guy, but I seriously doubt it. We've been together as a couple for 4 years but I've known him for more than 10. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of this but rather I'm just wondering how I can get him to WANT me to go down on him. I actually enjoy it and it turns me on.

[DocT1977]

If he likes doing that more than he likes getting oral, That doesn't mean you are bad at it necessarily. It means he loves eating you and it's a huge turn on for him. I work the same way.

[Asker]

Thank you. It seems like a lot of guys are the same way.

[malakkaman]

Fuck yeah it's normal. I love eating pussy and so does every guy I know. I'd choose chowing down on some seriously tasty twat over a BJ any day. Well fuck I'm just a giver I guess.

[Asker]

Yeah I completely understand that. I would just like to go down on him more without him refusing me.

[malakkaman]

Oh I wouldn't outright refuse. Maybe he has some body issue that he doesn't like seeing his penis in your hand or mouth

[Asker]

Possibly but when I do give him oral he doesn't seem to have a problem with that. I guess he just really prefers eating me out.

[Anonymous]

"I didn't think a guy would ever refuse oral sex."

Might I suggest that some of your insecurities are stemming from your sexist beliefs?

Anyway, most girls aren't good at oral sex, but isn't something a guy would hold against you or prevent him from accepting it, we understand a girl may want to reciprocate to please us and don't want her to feel bad.

[Asker]

I didn't know that was sexist, I'm sorry. I just thought that blow jobs are something most guys enjoy. I'm only insecure because he often rejects my advances. I don't want to be the one getting all the pleasure because that's selfish.

[Opinion Owner]

No need to apologize to me, but you may want to examine the other things you believe about guys, I would venture that isn't the only sexist belief you have. That said, your heart seems in the right place, so I wouldn't panic over it. Just be more mindful.

[Asker]

I only believe that guys are people who like sex as much as women do. I don't like feminism because women aren't above anybody.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I never said anything about feminism, nor was I trying to imply anything about it. I'm simply saying be mindful of the things you believe or think as they may not be true and can sometimes be prejudiced.

[Asker]

I get that. I'm sure guys think similar things about women too.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, men do. Don't think I'm being judgmental of you, by the way, I'm simply pointing out something I thought may be part of the problem you are having with your boyfriend. Not trying to lecture or scold you.

[Asker]

I understand what you're saying. It's all good.

[Anonymous]

No, he just prefers to give oral in stead of recieve.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm probably really over thinking this. I just like giving him oral though and I hate when he doesn't want it.