Sexual Relationships
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What are the potential consequences of teasing for sex?

My girlfriend had made it clear at the start of the relationship that she wanted no sexual relationship with me, including kissing, etc. One night at her place I felt horny so I started flirting with and teasing her, escalating it gradually to kissing, etc. until she wanted sex. She said later that she doesn't want a sexual relationship but each time I'm horny and flirt with and tease her she wants it. We've gone through this cycle many times and I'm getting tired of her always telling me the next day she doesn't want a sexual relationship. Just to clarify, I always make sure I get her consent and though I initiate the flirting and teasing, she always willingly takes her own clothes off for sex, is always an active participant sometimes even on top and she always gets pleasure in the sex. She told me herself when I asked her. Now she says she doesn't want to see alone anymore but when I ask to go to her place she says yes even when we will be alone. I'm getting tired of her double language. If she really didn't want sex, why would she accept it? If she really doesn'the want to see me alone anymore, why does she let me go to her place when I ask? I discussed this with a friend of mine as a purely hypothetical scenario between a man and woman and he said it sounded like his relationship but in reverse and that the woman should dump the guy because he doesn'the respect her and that if she doen't dump him they will bre as know up eventually. I was hurt. I do respect her in every way and always make sure she desires sex before we have it each time. She also says she still loves me. Your thoughts?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Your post says it all. You lust after her but don't love her. She told you clearly when in her rational state that she did not want to have a sexual relationship with you, so you chose to deliberately manipulate her state of mind by teasing her until you got what you wanted with no concern for how it might affect her happiness. You're overlooking the fact that having sex makes her unhappy so that you can enjoy yourself at her expense. Do you really want to marry someone who allows you to disrespect herlike that? Please don'the answer that question. Think of of your mother, your sister, your friends. Would you want them to ever be manipulated the way you're manipulating her? I take it you don'the have a daughter do you.
    And yes, I'd be saying the exact same thing if your gender roles were reversed.

    • I do love her. That's why I want to have sex with her. Duh!

    • No, if you loved her, you would want her to be happy. And if you're a mature person, then you can control your libido. If you can'take control your libido, then how long will it take before you cheat on her when she doedn'the give you what you lust after?

  • Internal battle. Her morals are at odds with her instincts. Nothing new. Nothing terribly detrimental. It's harmless and eventually she'll give in and her morals will relax.

Most Helpful Girls

  • that is just one confusing scenario. I can't really say why she is doing this but as it is the way of most people in life probably for attention. She seems she doesn't want it, so you try harder to flirt and be nice and with her. She wins no matter what in that deal. My advice to you if you really want it to stop or at least understand where she is coming from tell her how you feel she is manipulating you and it makes being with her less enjoyable. Dont' be mean, or angry just questioning and make her understand you want to know to better the relationship. Subtly you could also try and just be extra attentive without getting some, kinda just her winning but up to you.

    • She says she's religious, so I think she feels guilty about it. I guess I should have mentioned that, so I know she'said not purposely manipulating me. I think she really doesn't want it; but at the same time, if she choozes to do it, she should stop beating herself up about it all the time. That'said what irritates me, her always beating herself up about it.

    • Okay so based on that. let me just say i do not have the best self confidence and i used to roll my eyes or get annoyed when my guy would constantly say I'm beautiful or whatever. He hated my negativity told me "i like you and if i say you're beautiful that is the end of it" and so i as the girl just accepted it and just said thank you. what i am trying to say is maybe just tell her what you just told me, i'm sure she would appreciate your honesty and being straightforward

  • I suggest you spank her for being such a tease and send her back home with a red bottom. Then fap the hell out of yourself. She'll be doing the same.

    Then call/meet her and talk about all of this. Say what you've told us.

    • I don't understand what you mean?

  • Really you should talk about it with her. If she's religious and you are doing this out of love than there's nothing wrong with it. But you guys have to clear that off.

    • He's clearly no doing it out of love.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It's not fair on you to have a sexless relationship, but it's not fair for you to keep pushing it.
    I think you both need to sit down and have a serious talk about what you both want

    • We have, and she has made it clear she doesn't want sex, and I did agree. It's just that she always gradually changes her mind after I flirt with and tease her for a while, and I can'tell help but tease her when I'm horny.

    • I hate when guys say 'I can't help it' lol. You can. But you need to decide if you can have a sexless relationship

    • You're not a guy. Guys need sex.

  • She's a prick tease. I wouldn't put up with that shit, and if she loved you she wouldn't mess with your head like that.

  • To put it simple, this may very we'll be against her morals and value. She loves you enough that she has sexual desires for you, but her voice in her head is saying no sexual relationship.

  • Is she religious? She may be struggling with her religious values vs her sexual desires.

    • Yes, she is religious.

    • That's the dilemma then. Her body wants sex, but her religion says she shouldn't do it. That's a big inner struggle to deal with.

    • Are you two the same religion?

    • Show All

  • Why are you putting up with all of this?

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