Why was my boyfriend acting like an asshole during sex?

[Anonymous]

I had sex with my boyfriend last night. When he was fingering me I couldn't get wet at first because I was stressed. So then he says "Why aren't you wet?" And then he asked me if I was thinking of someone else and I said no so he suggested that I play with it and rubbed it with me and I got wet. During sex he told me he loved me 3 times and asked me about 3 times "Whose your big daddy?" I replied "You" He also asked me what's his name the entire time. Prior to sex he demanded that I sucked his dick using both hands and he asked in an asshole kind of way. During sex after he asked me all those questions he told me to re position myself 3 times he also roughly moved my body back and forth to how he wanted me to please him. To me he came across as bossy and arrogant. I felt like I couldn't please him at all. I was moaning and he told me to shut up and I did but at the same time he wanted to hear me say his name and asked how it felt, I was confused as shit. Afterwards he said it was good sex but for me I felt like a blow up doll or prostitute. Can someone explain his behavior? All the other times we had sex he never acted this way, kinda like he was frustrated. I know you're probably thinking it was just rough sex and he was being dominate but really this wasn't one of those scenarios. I actually felt like shit fucking him and sucking his dick. I didn't enjoy it at all. He was angry before the sex to be honest and if this matters he's physically abusive to me.

[bluecotton]

Relationships are all about trust. You mentioned that he is physically abusive to you, almost as an aside and as if it does not matter or apply to this particular question. However, abuse always affects our ability to trust someone and anyone who is abusive toward another person is not trustworthy.

First and foremost you need to know that abuse is never OK. There is no amount of abuse (whether physical, sexual, or verbal) which should be tolerated. My direct advice for you is to exit the relationship as quickly as possible.

Now, the specifics of the sexual encounter you mentioned are not necessarily abusive, depending upon context. Some couples do enjoy 'rough sex.' There is a place for roleplay, dirty talk, domination, and submission within a loving and trust-filled relationship. However, such things need to be addressed prior to climbing into bed. You should both agree on a 'safe word.' This is a word that tells your partner you are not having fun anymore, and you seriously want them to stop or change what they are currently doing.

The fact that your boyfriend did not discuss these things with you first, combined with your lack of enjoyment over the entire experience, tells me that it was not a healthy encounter in any way. Once again, I urge you to end the relationship as quickly as possible.

Men who are abusive do not become less abusive over time. On the contrary, abusive men always tend to become more abusive as the relationship progresses.

[kheserthorpe]

" if this matters he's physically abusive to me"

Your boyfriend is a complete piece of shit asshole.

Get the fuck out of that relationship.

[MrOracle]

Thanks. You kept me from having to say it.

[DivineAliah]

My first thought was... "Maybe it was hatred sex?" Because when I had a boyfriend we would argue and then have hatred like sex. But, then I continued reading and saw, "... if this matters he's physically abusive to me." LEAVE HIS SORRY ASS! Any man who abuses a women in any way is a pathetic excuse of a man! That's not even a man... that's a boy! REAL MEN DONT ABUSE WOMEN! I don't care what the circumstances are! Get yourself together, pack your things, and go. If you don't leave now, God forbid, he hurts you and you end up in the hospital with something major.

[Arianna16]

he's a dick! he only cared about you pleasing him and he didn't care about pleasing you, tell him how you felt! I know it is probably easier said than done but give it a try if you feel confident enough to do so

[TashaJJ]

Why are you even with him if he abuses you?

[TashaJJ]

sorry wrong place to post my opinion.

[Arianna16]

aha its cool dw, was wondering why u commented that on my comment ahaha

[Stacyzee]

If he's physically abusive to you outside of the bedroom, why are u even having sex with him? Leave him !

[CommieDearest]

He acted like an asshole because he's an asshole.

[rthomas43]

Holy fuck. You're back.

[CommieDearest]

@Rthomas43 yes! Haha the LSAT is behind me, I can be a bum on GaG once more.

[rthomas43]

How'd it go?

[CommieDearest]

@Rthomas43 I feel pretty good about it. I really studied my ass off, but I'll know for sure March 3rd.

[rthomas43]

Woo! Keep us posted =]

[MikeMikeMike]

That's weird. Maybe he was really really upset that you couldn't get wet and took it out on you

[Jessicalee4513]

If my boyfriend told me to shut up during sex I would take my moaning to someone who appericated it.

[Anonymous]

Before you get serious hurt get the hell out of this relationship and get away from him.

[Anonymous]

Take a knife, sneak up to him while he's sleeping, and cut off his balls. Then run away to Miami, put on a blond wig, and become a Marylin Monroe impersonator.