Why Are Women So Picky About Kissing On The First Date?

First off, here is the poll question: DO YOU KISS ON THE FIRST DATE? I've been on quite a few dates this year... but each girl I encounter has some stupid excuse. I went on one date with a girl and I put my arm around her and she got angry and told me doesn't cuddle on the first date. I went on one date with another girl and tried to kiss her, but she said she doesn't kiss on the first date. I went on a date tonight with another girl and everything was good. We were laughing, touching each other (hands, arms, legs, etc) and we took a walk and held hands. At the end of the date, I tried to kiss her and she said "I don't know about that..." She then told me to text her later. Why don't women like kissing on the first date? I don't see it as a big deal. It's not like we are having sex on the first date... it's just a kiss. I'm a romantic guy who loves to cuddle, hold hands, and show affection... and it's a turn off when a woman doesn't want to do any of that, especially kiss.
Yes - I Kiss On The First Date
Vote A
No - I Don't Kiss On The First Date
Vote B
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Some of my best dates were with women who kissed on the first date. That showed me they are spontaneous and open to new experiences.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • She has a right you know. Some girls dont mind and will have her tongue down your throat on the first date, hey, good for her. Some girls dont do that on the first date & Im sure she has a reason. My reason is if its a first date, Im trying to get to know the guy a little more. Some guys think kissing is an invitation for sex. I know because I
    did it before (kissed on first date, not sex. ugh never again tho) He kept
    saying, "lets go buy some condoms." and
    "come to my house tonight" and even
    to shove my head towards his crotch
    initiating a blowjob! I was very uncomfortable. Understand that another girl is gona have her own personal reason why she dont kiss on the 1st date.

  • im not one who would kiss on the first date. I'm really slow when it comes to stuff like that. i need time to get to know someone, to trust them enough with something like that, and i have to develop enough feeling for me to feel comfortable with it.
    if he's got enough patience to handle that, awesome. if not, get lost.

    • What would you do/think if on the first date he kissed you on the forehead? Less or more intimate? Or just plain weird? lol

    • oh nah i meant on the lips. the cheek or forehead is fine. but id rather he did that sparingly too. @zorro8888 cuz i feel like some guys just do it for the sake of being physical, and i dont look for that from the first date.

    • Lol I'd only go for a kiss if it felt right not to be physical haha but I'd rather wait so she doesn't think I'm only looking for sex. It's like I want to show my interest but I have to abide with other means lol so maybe a kiss on the cheek or hug will be great.

    • Show All
  • It's just because you don't know the person and it's a respect boundary thing.

    Also the more you allow a guy to get away with on the first date the less respect he will have for you. Now kissing isn't really bad but it can always lead to something else. So most girls rather not kiss until the second or third date.

    • At the same time though, I don't want anyone's time to be wasted. I'm not trying to sound obnoxious but there are so many other guys I could be going out with. If the chemistry is not there I feel like I am not likely to pursue the relationship or want anything more. So in some cases it's best just to try and see what happens. I'd rather scare the guy off in the beginning than have him lead me on and send me mixed signals after our first date and be strung along and get crushed. Do you understand my reasoning?

    • @mysterygi Yeah respect 😊

Most Helpful Guys

  • Its not just girls dude. Its just a morals thing. Some people guys inckuded think that physical affections like kissing and else are intimate personal things. I dont kiss on the first date either. I think its disrespectful to both of us. My current girlfriend I didn't kiss till the 4th date. Its just about comfort level. And tbh dude if you dont respect a girl enough to be understanding about her not wanting to kiss on the first date, dont be surprised when they assume you're not gonna be patient sexually either and you dont get a second date because of it.

  • You don't make them feel comfortable enough. I've kissed lots of girls on the 1st date it's just a matter of knowing if it feels right. Definitely don't force the kiss. Look for signs to see if they want a kiss. All girls are different, you sound very confident in yourself and there is nothing wrong with that it's just not all girls are as confident as you are. Try looking at it from their prospective girls can be just as shy as guys on first dates they are humans just like the rest of us after all.

    • I've kissed quite a few girls on the first date as well... it's just that I have been striking out lately! But... reading your post, I do see where you are coming from. Good points.

    • Thanks I wish you luck and when I say I've kissed lots of girls on 1st dates I mean I've kissed 2 but it's been the last 2 1st dates I've been on. I'm kind of a pussy so I only do it when the girl makes it obvious she is feeling it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 5
  • Maybe you are dating conservative girls who don't do physical things on the first date. I know guys who always get kisses on the first date cause they date easy girls.

  • I don't even try to kiss on the first date, I give them just enough to know I enjoyed myself and want a second date and then I hug her real lightly and we part. I feel like it sorta confuses them and makes them them interested in date two.

  • It's simply the preference of some people.

  • That depends on your feelings. I mean, if she wants to kiss, she will, if not she'll just find some excuse.

  • Because its the first date... why rush? You're just getting to know each other & also it feels good to build some tension so when it finally happens boom ! Sparks <3

  • because they don't know the guy very well maybe?

  • that's because the dates you are having with them are too intimate and serious i've had first date kisses with very reserved girls you just have to get them out of their own minds take them somewhere fun and loud lead her to be spontaneous guide her towards letting loose and having fun and then in the middle of all the fun flirt with her a bit dance with her a bit get her moving her hips and having fun then go for it man afterward just continue with the date act like it was no big deal and she won't think it's a big deal either and since you have already kissed she will let her guard down and let you kiss her some more throughout the night.

  • She may not be that into you (at all or not yet) or she may simply like to go out on a few more dates first to get to know the guy better.

    • And then she will try to make me hey boyfriend -_-. I've been with girls like that. They make you wait, wait, wait, wait... and then they start declaring you an "item" once you finally kiss.

    • Well yeah because by then she knows she likes you enough that she wants you to be her boyfriend.

    • Dude you're a douche. If you're just looking for women to fuck around w and no have a relationship w you shouldn't be taking girls out in dates. It confuses them into thinking you actually value them. Which clearly you don't. Thats manipulation bro and its not cool. If you just wanna get laid and use a girl like she's just a live action hole to cum inside of then you should be straight forward w that and look for a chick whos into this arrangement at like a club or hookup site or something. Etc. But its just disrespectful to wait for a girl and allow her to feel comfortable w you when all you're doing is waiting around to use her and lose her. You sound like a 14yr old w a porn addiction.

  • I've done mor than that on a first date.

  • I think they might be trying to play it safe so they haven’t just given it up. It’s not that they’re thinking “oh well it’s not like we are having sex” but it’s initiating that kiss that gets you to the sex part. She either wants to wait it out and make the suspense last or... she’s not in to you.

  • Thought it weird recently when I went on a first date with a guy and he didn't attempt to kiss me, but I gave him a nice hug that he reciprocated, messaged straight after date and been messaging again and he said he wants to see me again and the feeling is mutual, so I guess I'm clueless to the rules too haha

  • Kissing is something you do with those you feel emotionally attracted to.
    First date is often with those who just look cute/sexy or act cute/nice.
    Nothing emotionally attraction at the first date yet normally.

    Plenty of times I had sex/BJ/HJ with my first dates, while the first kiss came way later.

    • So interesting! Yes I too have experienced like touching before a kiss. And the kiss was just a peck and it was enough for me to realize that I was in love with the other person (it came after 7 months of being close to him)

  • The first date you don't even know the person at all yet. There might not even be a second date. They might as well be a stranger. I don't kiss strangers.