My boyfriend wants to have unprotected sex for the first time?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now, and he finally expressed to me that he wants to have unprotected sex for the first time. I am on the pill, and we always use condoms now. Unprotected sex really scares me because personally, i am not ready for unprotected sex and i don't know if i ever will be. I am 21, and any of the possible negative outcomes terrify me. I don't know what I would do if i got pregnant from it or even got an STD. I've put it off for so long with him and he understands and never pushes me, but recently he seems like he really wants it. I am not backing down, but how can I get him to finally stop asking? I think he knows it makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable every time the topic is brought up. Thanks!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • My boyfriend wants to have unprotected sex for the first time?
    In my opinion that's a major risk of STDs/STIs.

    I am not backing down, but how can I get him to finally stop asking?
    You can tell him to stop asking and if he continues it may suited to reevaluate if you want to continue having sex with a guy who ignores your discomfort for his own pleasure.

    Or you can do what I advise my gal pals to do and if he whines about the condom delaying his orgasm you can respond with 'you're whining over a few seconds of delay versus me generally not getting an orgasm'. Then strike a bet that you guys can go without condoms if everytime you two have sex you orgasm by his d*ck. Thus far no guy has been able to achieve it as it seems most guys do not want to put in such effort.

    However I'd rethink the stance on going without condoms as I find mostguys are quite self-centered about their pleasure.

  • Just tell him no if you aren't comfortable.
    But, if you're both clean, if you're on the pill, and you trust him to pull out.. You shouldn't worry.
    That's what I always do and I've never even had a scare.
    The pill itself, even if he doesn't pull out is 99% effective if you don't miss it.
    So really just both get tested?
    But mostly, say no if you don't want to. It's your right to say no. He'll be fine.

  • I think it's about compromise.
    I understand you feel uncomfortable with it, but if he really wants to try it just once, how would you feel about doing it just the once?

    There is no better feeling than skin on skin, condom sex to me is barely even sex 😂
    You've been with eachother a year, I'm assuming non of you have cheated, and he can pull out.

    Give it some thought :)

    • Just once? Once you go bare it's never just once...

Most Helpful Guys

  • let's take things into consideration

    STD's... simple fix. get tested. frankly at this point (even if you use condoms) you should be fully aware whether or not your guy is clean... and if you are clean. so get tested

    Pregnancy... the pill and condoms are virtually the same in terms of ability to prevent pregnancy. both are more than 99% effective. I supposed doubling up does improve your protection.

    If you are not ready to have unprotected sex then simply tell him. explain to him that you are taking proper precautions and want to stick to them until you are ready to get pregnant and that him asking more and more won't change that

  • I'd suggest you set these conditions and reconsider.
    First condition: Are the two of you exclusive for three months? If not, no bareback.
    Two: Both get STD screens and share the actual paperwork. To get the screen, just tell the doc your SO cheated and you want to be sure you're okay. It happened three months ago.
    Three: The pill is effective so if the other tests are met, it's safe.

    It feels so much better for him to ride bareback.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm on the pill too.
    Once you lose the condoms you will never go back.
    They were invented by the devil himself.
    Sex is divine without those damn things.
    :))

    • Yasss... I keep trying to go back to them because my body gets all screwy on them. We had to try like 10 different kinds and when we tried Skyn we literally fell asleep. Smh..

  • You can test for sexual deseases both you and your partner before of that makes you feel better (and it will be safer!!). If you live in the UK you can just go to a sex clinic or to your local gp and do the tests for free. Dont do anything you're not comfortable with just because your boyfriend wants you to okay?

  • If he keeps asking even while knowing that it makes you uncomfortable then he's kind of a scumbag.

    • This.

  • Send him this article. I'm serious!!
    www.buzzfeed.com/.../condoms-are-for-chumps

    • oh wow omg

    • Scare him with facts

    • Oh come on. This is only relevant if the person you have sex with is infected.

    • Show All
  • If you are on the pill and take it at a consistent time every day, you're > 95% assured you won't get pregnant. And you can both get tested for STD's.

  • I should think by now you'd know if you were both clean, but you can get tested for STI for peace of mind.

    The pill, if taken consistently, is 99% effective. You should be safe from unplanned pregnancy. Still, if you're not comfortable with doing this, he ought to respect that.

  • Well in the worst case scenario, if he pays for abortion in case of the worst case scenario, you're golden.

    • Why risk abortion? Silly. Abortion is not a game and often follows a woman the rest of her life.

    • @obviouslybored well, I did say worst case scenario, twice, actually.

  • If you are not comfortable with it then tell him no.

  • you must use spiral for your vagina.. it's the best thin for unprotected sex.

  • Bah

    Let him get a few squirts in ya

    Just a few penis pumps will do