Should I feel guilty after having drunk sex?

[Anonymous]

I went to a party a few nights ago and this guy, who I'd met once or twice before, was talking to me and flirting with me all night. We were both drinking heavily, but I was definitely more drunk than he was. And I was definitely flirting with him and leading him on. Long story short, we ended up making out and then having sex. I woke up a few hours later and couldn't remember anything (including sex). But since we weren't wearing clothes and we were in his bed, I put two and two together. Anyway, I fell back asleep and we both woke up an hour or so later, feeling extremely hungover and confused. He said he didn't remember much, either. We never talked about having sex. The weird part, though, is that soon after waking up, he started kissing me and making moves. I didn't reject him, but I didn't like it either. I felt sick, and felt bad about what had already happened. If I hadn't been so hungover, I'm talking lightheaded, dizzy, out of it kind of hungover, I would've stopped him. But we were already wearing minimal clothing, and it just kind of happened that we started having sex again. I didn't want to, but I didn't tell him no. It felt wrong and awkward. After that I stayed for another half hour or so then just went home and haven't really talked to him since. I guess my question is whether or not I should feel bad about this, or maybe I should just try to forget about it. I feel like I was taken advantage of, but I don't really think he did anything wrong. I know I was leading him on all night, but by the time we would have had sex, I was completely blacked out. I have no idea how I was acting. For all I know I initiated it. I also have no idea how drunk he actually was or if he really remembers. I know I was drinking more than he was. I guess I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. If I should try to talk to him, or wait for him to say something to me. Or if I should just forget about it and not mention it again.

[Anonymous]

This happens all the time at college parties. It's best not to think too much about it, and just take it as an experience, especially if you enjoyed the sex. If you really felt you were taken advantage of I'd really try to think of the reasons you feel this way.. I am in college myself and know of several girls who pressed sexual assault charges against guys due to this and they won, the guys had to serve jail time. So I would try to make that distinction, but it sounds like you two had a good time, and it was consensual. I your ability to say no was compromised, then you have grounds to press charges against him.

[Anonymous]

You got yourself in a YES position (glug glug) and even when enabled elected NOT to say NO. Seems no one's to blame as to sex, just to alcohol management = F and the hormones took over unencumbered by any brains... nor even love.

SO hope the physical part was at least memorable
then flush all the guilt, remain friends (if he'll also erase memories)
and LEARN how vulnerable YOU are around alcohol.
Next time it might be your life & blood at stake.

[N8tive_poetess]

Hmmm are you sure you were awake and not passes out if you can't remember doing it? Also, most people check body language of the person they're having sex with to make sure they're comfortable... if u didn't want to I would think it would show in your body language even if u didn't stop him.

[gobsmacked3]

Just put it down to experience, and maybe make it promise to yourself to control your drinking more in the future. Or, if you are wanting to get drunk, tell a few mates to look after yourself

we all do things we might later look back on and question, but, rather than linger on them and beat yourself up. Instead forgive yourself, and learn from them

[Anonymous]

"I got in to a fight because I was drunk"

No, you let your emotions get the best of you, and drank too much"

[JSmuve]

Chalk it up to being drunk and forget about it.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, should've just said no...