Girls, your opinions on sex in a relationship?

[baseballbtc3]

To start off, I love sex. It really is one of my absolute favorite things to do. However, at the same time I do not really like the idea of being single and just hooking up with people and I want to have connections with the people I have sex with. I have had three girlfriends in my life (granted I'm only 18) and they are the only people I have done anything with, including even kissing. Which is just fine by me. My problem however is, I always want sex more than they do. My ex who was long term with me for 2 and a half years was amazing to be with, we had great sex but the relationship didn't workout with us personally and after the newness of the relationship was over she would really only want any kind of sex if we had a place to ourselves for a long period of time and got to have a bunch of quality time together first. Being in high school at the time and having your parents always around makes that about impossible. So very little sex there. With my current girlfriend, going into the relationship she seemed very sexually open and adventurous, like I am, and it was fun. Now that im her boyfriend we rarely do anything. We pretty much only have sex if one of our roommates are gone (college dorms) and we are having a sleep-over. She loves to get me horny in the worst times, like when her friends are around. But when we are alone will never do anything with me or let me start anything. Ex would get mad when I started stuff and my gf now just kinda laughs. Do I need to cut my bitching and just masturbate a lot or will there be girls who will actually want to have lots of sex and enjoy messing around with me. Its not because I'm ugly or bad in bed, I know what I'm doing. This is just starting to get kind of frustrating. Your opinions ladies please.

[Anonymous]

My opinion on this topic….
I have greater things to be doing with my energy than spreading my legs and having sex all the time. Sorry to be blunt but that’s what it comes down to. Yes, sex can be fun, adventurous, and very intimate. Yet, I have other things that I enjoy doing with my free time and to be honest, it becomes a pain in the a** when your boyfriend always wants to have sex. It can make you feel like a sex object like all he mainly wants to do is get his d*ck wet. When a guy always wants to have sex, he can start to be a nuisance and it just becomes bothersome like a mother nagging you to do a chore that you would prefer to do later.

[baseballbtc3]

i appreciate the honesty

[shadowlegend]

It simply means they have different sexual needs. There are women who value and enjoy sex in a relationship as much and as frequently as men. He needs to find someone who is better suited to him.

[Opinion Owner]

@shadowlegend meh not necessarily. Typically partners in a relationship who spend over 50% of their free time together f*cking can be replaced because they are lacking in mental and emotional intimacy. That’s just logical, rational sense: if you are spending most of your time with someone sexually gratifying them and vice versa then how much time together are you spending having meaningful, deep conversations or going on adventures that don’t involve your genitals? There are some activities that require absolute focus without your sex drive being involved. When a couple spends most of their time screwing, someone usually ends up having an emotional affair.

[baseballbtc3]

Well just to add in I love spending quality time with my girlfriend and I always have. I see my current girlfriend every day and we always go get food and go on walks together where sex is not even in the picture. I just wish more alone time could be spent having sex.

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker, if she felt the same then she would be doing that. It’s crazy how people deny compatibility because someone won’t gratify/please their genital as much as they’d like them to.

[shadowlegend]

Be assertive, express your needs. You are being faithful I'm assuming? So you have every right to say what you want and need from the relationship, the same as any woman does. Maybe your gf doesn't know that it's actually something you need to feel fulfilled, so all you can do is talk to her about it and then decide if you are getting your needs met from the relationship or not. But also determine if you could possibly satisfy yourself (masturbate) more often and also have sex with your gf when she is willing, instead of continue to end relationships over it.

[baseballbtc3]

yes I'm totally faithful! i don't even talk about other girls being attractive the way girls always go on about other guys!

[shadowlegend]

So express your needs. I think sex is a very important part of a relationship and you need to find a partner who values it as much as you. Sexual compatibility is just as important as any other need in a relationship, don't settle and feel you have to suppress that part of yourself, there are women who feel the same way you do.