Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why would my boyfriend be on Kik?

Before I hear that we need counselling or I should break up with him, I just want a little more perspective on what to do, and what to say. We've been together two years. All of it happy and loving. BUT after one year, I had a sneaking suspicion about his ipad use. I don't care if he watches p*rn , but I noticed his emails were full of cheating sites. I looked him up and he was putting himself out there to chat sexually. (He wasn't very good at it, funny enough.) When he got caught, he cried and promised to stop. Three months after that, then totally not trusting him, I got access to his Facebook and found him chatting with an ex (non sexual, but still behind my back!) and another girl who I don't know, who he felt the need to always call her pretty. I confronted him again, and like before, he cried, I cried and we really knew this had to mean change. He blocked the girls from his page at my request. Now it's been four months since that time, and I've had access to his email without him knowing. He's been good for four months but I just found he opened a Kik account. So, why? He has FB to chat on. He knows I don't mind him chatting on that. I made my own account under a different name to connect with him, and so far all I said was hi to him and he's just said hi to "me". Nothing else so far, I'm waiting for his response but I know he's busy right now. I want to see if he flirts with the account I made, and if he does or doesn't, what do I do, and why would he do this? All of it, without telling me. I'm ready to be devastated, but hope Kik isn't much to worry about. It's just with his history with me, I can't help it. To my face he's all about love. But this stuff happens behind my back and I feel like he's going to destroy me. :(
Updates:
+1 y
Here's the update: I began chatting with him briefly on Kik and it didn't take much to flirt, and be flirted with back. He told me, "I have a girlfriend," and said he was away and that he was lonely. I asked him if he had other girls to chat with and he said he didn't as he just set up his account. He told me how big his penis was and that he was touching himself, and if it was okay to tell me so. When we agreed to chat later, I took a screenshot and sent it to him. Again, very sorry and cried.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • KIK is definitely nothing to worry about, it's literally like whatsapp and another form of texting, I have it to chat with friends that don't live in the same country as me, as you don't get charged it's easily accessible through wifi too, so you don't need a phone number for it etc. All though I would definitely keep my eyes open all though if you're looking for something, you're most likely going to find it... so don't have your hopes too high. If you already are having issues over and over again, you might want to reevaluate your relationship and think how much longer can you stand not fully trusting him you're always going to question everything he does in the end.

    • Thanks for this, I know where he is located right now there is no cell service. He is away in a remote place with no phone and no women, so at least there's that. But I know he enjoyed his Facebook chatting, and at least it was this way he could chat with friends, all of them on his page right there on the Facebook Messenger and I was cool with that. I knew who all of his near 400 friends were to him. He's opened a can of worms creating a Kik account (again, by the way, the first time was amidst all his cheating chatting the first time he got caught and deleted it). I had no idea what he did on Kik before but he already got rid of it along with other accounts he used that hurt me so I don't know, all I cared about is that they were gone. So with FB Messenger being a nice way to chat, why Kik then? I fear it's because he wants to reconnect with blocked girls or find new ones that aren't on his FB.

  • I had that problem with my ex. I gave him a few chances to quit and he continued to chat and carry on with different online dating type sites. He said that he did it because he was bored and I wasn't around. There's really no excuse in my mind. You either want a relationship with one person, you both agree to an open relationship, or you want to be single. In the end, I left him because I could not torture myself with not being able to trust him. That may not be what you want to hear but it may save you a lot of heartache and wasted time.

    • I'm in that boat but I love our love life when it's honest, and I'm also very much still attracted to him. I hate sneaking behind his back to check, and then hate this stuff I find wondering what it is hoping it's nothing but sometimes it's not great. This time I don't know what he needs Kik for, but he could have just said to me that he's opening the account. If it needs to be a secret, then I can't help but think it's for sneaking use. He just isn't learning, and I'm getting heartbroken having to teach him everytime that sneaking is NOT okay.

    • Only you know when enough is enough for you. Just make sure that you don't put up with the same issue over and over. He'll start to think that he can just do it, apologize, and you'll stay. If you want to be open and build on trust then you should talk to him about how it's hard for you to trust him because of his actions. Tell him that you saw KIK and you want to know why he downloaded it. He may be using it for legitimate reasons but I know that a lot of people use it for sharing noods

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't let it bother you. Since your now on kik flirt with guys and see how they talk to women. Since he cares about you he goes there for his escape. He's probably doing what your thinking but doubtful he has met anyone off kik. Let him talk dirty to girls and Jack off to them as long as he's home with u every night who cares.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 0

  • Recently, kik has just become a sleek alternative to regular texting. I would delete the fake messages you sent him and simply ask him "what is this?"

    • It would make sense to do that if I found a way to not make it obvious. Honesty would have me saying, "Look I checked your email, and I know that sucks, but what I found was Kik. Why?" He is at the moment out of town in a remote location (no women around), so I know he's not physically cheating. I also know when I have to work he gets bored and likes the attention - that's what he told me the reason was the last time and felt very remorseful about it. Now, here we are again. It's not proof he's cheating online YET but it's also behind my back at the moment. I'm so hurt and angry. Guys reading this: seriously, WE FIND OUT.

    • So I had a brief sexy chat session with him on my phony profile and when it was done, took a screenshot and sent it to him in a message. He called himself a fuckup and was sending crying emotes and kept telling me how sorry he was. He said he deleted the app. I said things like 'what do you think you're doing?' and he said over and over how he was so sorry and what a failure he was. I couldn't even talk to him for any length of time and told him I wanted to be alone to think and talk to my friends and need to decide what to do. He kept sending these crying emotes and apologizing. It's been nine hours and we both haven't contacted each other since.

    • He's just horny, he's not trying to Actually get with anyone, Take him back

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