Why would my girlfriend cry after having sex?

It was her first time to have sex, I didn't hurt her or force her to have sex with me. She told me that she's ready and want to lose her virginity to me, but as soon as we had sex she start crying like kids. I'm confused because she didn't talk to me since four days and when I went to her house she said she's sick and want to be alone, is she fine? I'm worried.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • She talked herself into being ready. For many, its a huge commitment. She actually wasn't ready and is now on an emotional roller coaster and feels "dirty" and unclean and is probably acting weird with her family as well. She will get better, but its an awkward time for her. Maybe send her a supportive text saying that you're there for her and then leave her alone. She will come to you when she's ready. I experienced this after a simple sexual experience, not even after sex. I cried, I shut down and was paranoid that people would find out, I felt like a slut honestly. I didn't feel like a "good" person anymore. I kind of felt peer pressured into going along with what was happening because I didn't want to let my boyfriend down. I'm sorry you both are going through this. It might take time before she can do sexual stuff again, and when she does, she will have to be extreamly comfortable. So please let her work it out. Let her know you are her support, maybe even apologize for not waiting longer, but then let her cope with the crazy conflicting thoughts running through her head.

    • That's ok i don't want her to do anything sexual if she's not ok with it i'm not going to force her to do something, but I miss her so much I really want her to be with me that's all.

    • I'm so sorry. You are a fantastic boyfriend, just know that. Don't blame yourself, if she wasn't ready, she should have told you. The biggest thing I can push is let her know that her absence makes you sad and that you fully support her and anything she wants. Support support support! She is having a hard time. Just let her know you genuinely care for her. That's what I wish I would have gotten.

  • Losing your virginity is a huge deal for girls. And sometimes losing it is super traumatic. In movie and by or mothers we work it up to be this big huge romantic perfect scene with rose petals, champagne, candles and an after cuddle by the fire. For a lot of girls it's become the biggest moment of their life.
    She may just be under shock because realizing its sweaty, painful and awkward can be very confusing.
    Also because girls place a huge stigma around it (how much it means and most importantly what it says about us) our ideas of ourself change and we reevaluate things. We're not long these beautiful pure girls, no longer our daddy's little girl. Now we're at this weird cross between being a woman and being a kid still.
    It's really scary honestly, so maybe she just needs time sort things out. try contacting her every day or every couples of days (don't leave all after call, just do it once and give her space). Maybe send her a supportive text saying she's beautiful, just be there so when she's ready she knows who to turn top

  • Well it could be multiple reasons...

    1. Even if you took it slow and went easy on her like you said she was a virgin. It feels rather uncomfortable and can be painful the first time. You probably broke her hymen.

    2. Like you said she's a virgin and she's your gf. The fact that she allowed you to take her virginity could've been a very special and emotional moment for her and it's her way of telling you I love you, I gave you an important part of me/gift, and we are now one.

    3. She might have regretted giving up her virginity for whatever reason and began to cry but it was too late to back out/she had no way of telling you.

    But honestly there's only one way to find out you just have to ask her. I'm sure she wouldn't mind telling you. Just say that you're concerned and was wondering if those were tears of sorrow or happiniss.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Clearly she wasn't actually ready man, it's not hard to see. She must have felt that she needed to do it or she would lose you and then after it happened she realized you weren't the one who she wanted to lose her virginity to. Obviously you can't reverse it but I'd say maybe apologize and tell her that if she wants to break up you understand, and if she doesn't want to break up then you've gotta not try and force her into stuff because clearly she felt as though she didn't really want to do it...

    • She shouldn't lie about it, believe it or not she's not ready to see me yet.

    • Text her saying this and this exactly homie, "Listen. I understand I may have pressured you into doing something you weren't okay with and I'll never be able to take that back but I want you to know I love you (I assume you've told this girl you love her) and it'll hurt me if you never want to see me again but if that's how you feel... I understand." This way she's guaranteed to see it and when she does she may think good I don't have to go back to him or she may think it wasn't bad she lost her virginity to you. Also were you a virgin? If not that could be a factor as to why it's bothering her.

    • Actually it wasn't my first time and she knows that because I didn't lie to her about it.

    • Show All
  • I'm thinking that maybe she wasn't ready after all. She may have went along with it to satisfy you or to make you happy, but I really doubt a girl who truly wanted to lose her virginity would cry afterwards and avoid the guy who was her first for days.

    • That make it my fault now?

    • Of course not. She was probably under the illusion that she had to do it in order to please you. Unless you can read minds, I see no way how this could be your fault. You were simply a unknowingly guy in all of this. But don't worry about it bro. Just try to be the supportive boyfriend to her. If she felt she made a mistake by losing her virginity to you, then try to be there for her so she can realize that she didn't make a mistake.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Well tears are really just a sign of too much emotion to handle so it's hard to tell from that alone
    But from the rest it sounds like she wasn't ready after all, sorry. Try messaging a close friend of hers and see if she can tell you anything

    • But why would she lie about it if she's not ready? I don't get it.

    • It's not that she lied, it's that she didn't realize she wasn't ready

  • She could have been hurt and you didn't know she was and she is worried you will judge her

  • Some people get really emotional after loosing it, or guilty, whatever. It's a huge thing to some people, and she just needs her time. Unless you pressured her into it, she shouldn't be mad at you, so just back off for a couple more days and let her know you appreciate her and love her. She'll get over it eventually.

  • question: how big is it? cause it might of been too big for her bag and hit the back and hurt her a ton. or in the case that her hymen didn't break already from athletic things, it could of broken but that would mean blood.