My girfriend joked about cutting off my penis if I cheated?

[Anonymous]

It was a half jokingly half serious kind of threat. So with thunderclouds looming over my head I turned to her and said: "Well you see if you cut off penis I may not have sex or relationships anymore but I'll still be a functional member of society. However I will cut your face to fucking ribbons, I will make utmost effort to make you look not human. No man woman or child will care what you have to say cause they'll be too disgusted to look at you. If I will be dickless you will be a pariah!" What I actually said "That's not funny babe"

[Draknorthedark]

Are rape jokes funny? are FGM jokes funny? there you will get the real answer to this question my friends and now where are the feminists when you need them? they sure do think its a harmless joke when a mans penis gets cut off and say its negligible. BUT WANT A STORM over a top notch scientist wearing a shirt thats marketed by a company and make him cry and say its not negligible. the irony. oh because its so sexist and feminism is about equality. YEAH RIGHT KEEP THAT WAY MAY BE ONE DAY FAIRIES WILL FLY OUT OF MY ASS AND TELL YOU THAT ITS FUNNY. HAHAHA.

[Draknorthedark]

*KEEP THINKING THAT WAY*

[Bandit74]

I'd break up with a girl If she ever said that to me. There nothing funny about it. Yes cheating is horrible but it by no means justifies cutting a guys dick off.

[bubble_tea]

I'm glad nobody has ever left me for a joke.

[Bandit74]

@bubble_tea "It was a half jokingly half serious"

[bubble_tea]

I'm glad all those jokes told among guys about women belonging in the kitchen and making you sandwiches are all not serious at all.

[Asker]

Yeah cause joking about woman making sandwiches and joking anout cutting off dicks are totally the same thing

[Bandit74]

@bubble_tea like asker said making sandwiches jokes aren't comparable. what if your boyfriend said "if you cheat on me with your salsa partner I'll cut off your clit." in a half serious, half joking manner. I really doubt you'd be laughing >_<

[Mesonfielde]

It kind of is the same thing, as long as they don't mean it

[bubble_tea]

@Mesonfielde thanks man, finally someone who gets it. a joke is a joke. @Bandit74 depends how he says it. if he says it jokingly instead of a psycho look, I will definitely laugh lol I'm glad you never explained how serious the guys who make those jokes actually meant it.

[Bandit74]

@bubble_tea Well half joking half serious would definitely raise a red flag for me it depends on how well I knew the person. if I had been with her for a year and knew that was her sense of humor, then fine. However if it was a new relationship, only a month old then yeah I'd consider a break up.

[bubble_tea]

Ya know, sometimes you try to look serious, because it's funnier for you when the other person gets rattled lol I believe this is called the British humor.

[Bandit74]

@bubble_tea maybe you're an exception but I feel like if a guy ever joked about hypothetically cutting off his girlfriends clit if she cheated most girls wouldn't be laughing :/ I'm not one to be offeneed easily but if I was just getting to know a girl and she made that "joke" I'd see it as a red flag :o

[Bandit74]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1374928-how-would-you-react-if-the-person-you-were-dating-joked-about-this

@bubble_tea

@Mesonfielde

[bubble_tea]

lol that's because many are also offended by sandwich and kitchen jokes. you may think those are funny because they aren't about bodyharm, but they will think those jokes are poor and misogynistic and enforcing/encouraging misogynism when the world should be more progressed. the key to being a good comedian is timing and finding the right audience.

[Bandit74]

@bubble_tea the key to being a good comedian is timing and finding the right audience thanks for the advice :)

[Vetsin]

Ahahahaha don't worry, man. I'm 99.9% sure she won't cut off your penis if you cheat ^^

[ImBATMAYNE]

Lol my sister tells her husband that all the time >_< too fucking far in my opinion

[bubble_tea]

I think this joke is normal.. unless she's Thai, you have nothing to worry about.

[Asker]

That's why I fucking hate Asian women. I hope they get nuked one day, fucking sadistic fucks, even cook their own dogs while they're alive.

[bubble_tea]

But boiling lobster alive is okay though.

[Asker]

Lobsters are invertebrates they don't have emotions. They're just robots with a central nervous system. Absolutely nothing like dogs.

[bubble_tea]

Glad you can rationalize the eating habbits of your fellow men away.

[Ananchor]

I think you two have issues other than maybe possibly cheating in the future..,

[LauraMarx]

this isn't reddit?

[Asker]

No I don't believe so.

[HemrecRon]

haha... chill out dude... my girl often threats me that she ll put my balls in a lemon squeezer and she ill crush it if i cheat her... these are normal thing how a girl can feel a supremacy over guys... but they won't do it actually... most most girls threaten guys whit our junk... many of my female friends too tell that for fun...

[bubble_tea]

You're one of the two funny guys here it seems xD

[fearful]

Ok never mind

[TheLastSamurai]

be careful while sleeping
avoid bjs for now

[MarkyyG123]

Exactly, she may 'spasm' and bite it off :L Yikes! haha

[Anonymous]

Jokingly tell her that if she ever makes that joke again you'll cut off her clitoris and stitch her vagina shut. She should find that amusing assuming she isn't a complete hypocrite...

[Anonymous]

These girls answers are gross. They wouldn't like it if I said if you cheat I'll chop your boobs off and cut your clitoris off

[bubble_tea]

Honestly, I would laugh because unlike you, I have a sense of humor, and maybe unlike you, I'm not scared because I won't cheat anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

It's a gross thing to say regardless.

[Anonymous]

So don't cheat? Lol

[Anonymous]

Beat her at her own game! Cut your own dick off. See how she likes the idea of you being dickless then.

[LauraMarx]

yeah great idea you gotta do this

[Anonymous]

I joke like that with my husband too. I say I'll cut his dick off in his sleep and nail it to the wall.

It's a way for her to vent her self consciousness about you cheating.

[Asker]

I'm not sure if I have it in me, but if God forbid any woman cuts off my penis I hope I do have the courage to rip her face to shreads and not just sit in a corner and cry with self pity.

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't actually do it. haha I'm not that psycho. I would just leave and never look back. Leave him to live with his decision like any woman with dignity would do. I wouldn't take what she said personally. If you really didn't like it, tell her so.