Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why don't guys want to make me cum and what can I do about it?

this is a problem fo rme.. im a pretty girl, beautiful hot sexy gorgeous.. the guys I end up getting with are yes from the internet.. but they're guys.. everytime a guy goes down on me.. he does NOT want to make me cum.. EVER. usually its our first time doing anything... and they go down on me.. im very horny and multiorgasmic.. its crazy how they will not make me cum. They want to prolong this CUM.. for even an hour, worse they will beat up my pussy.. its very sadistic. I would say 99% of males do this to me. I can't predict who's going to do it... I have to go through it before I kick the guy out. its not right or fair... one guy did it on purpose saying to me "well there are women who can't orgasm at all" as if I should be lucky I can even orgasm. he'd purposely not let me orgasm. for me this is suffering badly.. they are using my body just to satisfy their desires.. and purposely not making me cum.. im also repressed sexually b/c of this.. worse, these weirdos who won't make me cum, once they hit my sweet spot, they'll start beating up my pussy messing up the cum... then they'll ask ME to go down on them before they even made me cum at all.. its sickening its like theyre saying.. i won't make u cum u mak eme cum first.. or tit for tat... are they just selfish? I've realized I can't expect them to make me cum.. theyre just using me cruelly.. and badly.. this last guy.. raved on how gorgeous I am.. beautiful.. he said he watned to please me then began this bullsh*t charade.. after 30 mins of beating my pussy up and suppressing my cums I got mad and got up.. why are they doing this to me? I can't let a guy give me oral anymore b/c this is what he does.. worse if they do make me cum its just ONCE that's it.. never again. its really evil what they're doing... its not right.. do I need to go for a 5 minute rule here.. i can cum VERY EASILY... its better they just never touch my pussy if their goal is to NOT let me cum at all..
Updates:
+1 y
the weird thing is.. they'll say they want to please me but they don't.. im already terrified of men b/c of this and of sex.. and it happens every single time. to know that males just don't want me to cum is hard to deal with. im nice and pretty and hot body.. im letting them do things with me and they abuse it.. this last guy beat up my pussy.. he rubbed his whiskers all over it.. it HURT.. i kept asying.. stop doing that it hurts.. he just wanted to injure my pussy!! that's all they want to do
+1 y
they want to injure my pussy... they want to suppress my cum injure my pussy and make me suffer.. im trying to get the psychology behind this.. im hot beautiful sexy.. any reason for this.. underlying psychological reason. for this reason I can't let men do anything to me anymore.. it all turns down to--them NOT letting me cum suppressing me and hurting my vagina. im a horny girl in my prime who can cum 20 times.. it is the worst thing.. in the end they want to cause PAIN to me not pleasure
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm sorry hun. Im sorry some guys are assholes. I've had this fantasy to do this to a girl honestly. And I would make a girl cum as I like to please people. But if I guy truly did please you, would you reciprocate and do the exact same to him? If not, that's probably why guys aren't going all the way with pleasing you. They think your just gonna turn around after you finish cumming on them and tell them to leave and blue ball them. So, they hold you getting pleased hostage to make sure they get something. But, if they're an asshole they ll get you to please them and then they will tell you to leave and refuse to finish what they started with you cause they got what they want.

    Maybe you should try a different approach. Maybe dating. Or meeting someone and building a friends with benefits if your not into dating. Meeting people online is dangerous and plus theyre total strangers. They don't know you and they don't care about you unless they're a kind person which is rare nowadays. So, the total stranger thing meeting up for sexual stuff becomes effectively a buisness transaction. Each person tries to take advantage of the other to get the most out of it with the least effort. I'm not like that but then get taken advantage of for it.

    a lot Guys are asses but girls do this too to guys.

  • Many men do not know what to do to make a girl orgasm. Many girls fake orgasms, so it looks like there is no problem. They are equally responsible for it, men and women. Women need to say what they want, and what a man should do that she had an orgasm or multiple orgasms. Women do not need to fake orgasm.

    • i dont fake orgasms, men dont make me orgasm until i get mad.. and say wtf is going on.. i need orgasms esp if some creep is going down on me but these weirdos dont want to give me pleasure. these men def know how to... theyre faking it

    • You must to tell him: Honey I need orgasm. Long cunnilingus, focus on the clitoris, do not stop until I tell you

    • I do. Then they go down on me longer and still don't make me cum. It's crazy. They're nuts

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't have that problem but I do have high self-esteem. If I'm not please with something I will make damn sure I get what I need. Without turning it into a business deal. Thing is, you're never close to these guys, so they just see you for a one night stand and they probably see you as just a plaything, just like you see them as a male toy. So play a game maybe, say that if he manages to make you come without using his magic stick, you'll give him a reward. Stuff like that. You don't need to turn it into something super complicated.
    If a guy doesn't respect you when you have sex (you can tell, it's not for example because someone slaps you ass that he's disrespectful. To me it's when he doesn't care about your desires and what you basically ask for).
    So if a guy doesn't respect you, you better kick him out.
    I've done that in the past, I had a lover for many months, and at the beginning he pissed me off. So I kicked him out and then he apologized days later and we managed to then have great sex, no strings attached in a respectful manner.
    So basically if they don't hear what you say, you say it louder and then you kick them out if you don't get an answer.
    That's it girl. Good luck.

  • Sounds like some selfish ass dudes your shacking up with.
    That or they can't so they choose not to.

    I can tell you not all men are like that, and I hope you find a good guy.

    My exes were kinda like that but my current bf is the opposite.

    • Thanks. They do seem selfish and sick too. What a joke

    • iiii

  • Hang out and fuck different guys... the guys u hang out with sound no good... Find new and completely better ones that want u to cum and orgasm!!!😋😋Good luck👍

  • Don't stand for it. Say "my orgasm comes early and often. I don't do teasing and you may not hurt me."

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 69

  • Wow, that sucks.
    Suggestion: Before going to bed, tell him that you want to call the shots, tonight. Tell him you want him to be your sex slave for the night. And, tell him that if he wants to cum, he has to ask for permission, he can't cum without it. Then, once he's naked, order him to lick you. As he's licking you, give him lots of instructions on how to do it better. If he balks, remind him that he's your sex slave for the night and to be quiet. Make sure he licks you EXACTLY the way you want it done. After you cum, tell him to make you cum again, this time with his cock. Once he's inside of you, direct him as to how YOU want it done. Slow, fast, long strokes or short ones. You decide. If he asks for permission to cum, , tell him no. Make him wait several hours. Make him beg. As he does, ask him, "How bad do you want to cum?" If he doesn't give you any answers that require him to do something naughty, kinky or taboo, tell him, "I"ll let you cum on ONE condition, you have to eat your cum!" He'll probably say no, at first, but, the longer you make him wait to have that orgasm, the chances are, he'll finally agree to do it.
    By the way, I know this from experience. I once had a girlfriend who NEVER had an orgasm. So, I suggested that we do some role playing. I suggested that I play the part of her sex slave for the nght. She LOVED it! As I was licking her or fucking her, she directed everthing. and I do mean EVERYTHING. When she finally gave me permission to cum, she made me eat it, every single time that night! Once, out of her pussy, another off of her stomach, another from French kissing her with a mouthful of cum, another by pouring it right into my mouth.
    If you want to talk more, email me at: nothingtosee@yahoo. com

  • Maybe you need to go lesbian?

  • It sounds like they are clueless and in experienced. It does not sound like they have cunnilingus down for the art that it is. It sounds like they are only doing it for foreplay and if any guy reading this who only performs down there for foreplay get a pad and paper and begin taking notes. You my dear asker, can tell quite simply by what they do. If I go down unless she's in a bit of a rush I refrain from going straight for the clit. Eating her begins long before her clothes come off. Kissing her neck making out rubbing her especially her thighs or lightly between her legs is crucial. You need to put her in the mood before her clothes even come off. Then the clothes come off but maybe with her panties still on kisses and light biting on the inside of her thighs, maybe some licking of her thighs or bikini line. Then the panties can come off or pulled to the side but licking the clit should be off limits. There

    • is more down there then just her clit. I like to lick outside her labias maybe tracing the shape of her pussy working my way inward to her labias which I might lick or suck or if your really looking to send her over the moon a yoni massage. A yoni massage is where you massage her labias. Its very sensual very erotic and very pleasurable for a woman. Maybe even use your tongue to lick inside her labias and taste her sweet juices that you got flowing. Then work your way to her clit. Dont attack it, its not a fortress.

    • Lick circles around her clit maybe occationally dart across the clit. Maybe a light suck on her clit. Your still building to her orgasm. Maybe use your tongue to write the letters of your name across her clit. When she is really ready and you will know because in my experience she is grinding against your tongue and probably holding your hair. The underside of her clit is like the underside of the head of your penis. If she can tolerate you licking the underside of her clit then lick there. Its very sensitive and not every woman finds this pleasurable. Its not like in porn though guys your not moving your head around like a rock em sock em robot.

    • Focus in on her clit the sweet spot she is enjoying your touch the most and ladies dont be afraid to grab his hair and show him the path to your orgasm. If your so sensitive that pleasure to your clit hurts then keep him from doing it and guys if she keeps pushing you away from her clit or recoils or jumps you probably are at a spot thats too sensitive. Listen to her body. Understand her body. Understand her needs. Also make sure you shave. Stubble is like sand paper. Youd not like it if she used a sheet of 60 grit sand paper to give you a hand job. So dont do it to her.

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  • It seems like what you need is better communication. Tell him how you feel, tell him what gets you there and ask him to do it. Telling him your not going to make him cum until you cum isn’t really out of line and Don’t ever put up with someone who physically abuses you. Men are beggers and not choosers when it comes to Sex. You’re dialogue sounds like you might be from somewhere outside if the US, I’m so sorry if it’s somewhere where men don’t treat women well, we’re not all like that. I’d treat you like a queen and make you cum 7 times before I do.

  • i am going to post something here and before i do i am going to give you a warning that this is an opinion based on what i have been reading here and it is also a devils advocate point of view.

    i find it hard to believe that all the guys you have met have acted the same, if this is true then it must be the type of guy that you search for. you said that you met all these guys through the internet, i suggest that you find a different site to find people on, you also mentioned that you are considering meeting submissives, this leads me to believe that you are looking for people on bdsm sites and that the type of males that you have been attracted to so far have been dominant, again change the site you are on.

    one thing that caught my attention and prompted me to play devils advocate is that you mentioned that usually it is your first time doing anything, there is a huge problem straight away, the fact that you expect a guy to be able to go down on you and make you cum the first time is asking for way too much. every woman is different, the way a woman is stimulated is different, what works for one may not work for another so it takes time for a guy to get it right, i would never expect to be able to make a female cum with oral on my first few tries, one has to learn what it takes to make her orgasm, women cannot be mad to orgasm, it takes trust and comfort, it is not like a guy where giving his cock a tug long enough and he will cum, with a woman it takes time and being gentle and figuring what buttons to push.

    it also sounds that your mind set and what you expect of men could be getting in the way of you being able to relax enough in order to cum. the guy that told you that not all women an cum was both right and wrong, all women can cum it is that not all women have cum, because they cannot get to a point where they are comfortable enough.

    • you also mentioned that guys have gone down on you for an hour or more, if that is so then they were trying really hard to make you cum, if a guy didn't want you to cum he wouldn't spend that long down on you. the guy that suggested that you use a vibrator, in my point of view if i was in his position i would have done the same thing, if i was having no luck getting a girl to orgasm with my tongue i would suggest such a thing in order for her to have her orgasm so she wouldn't think that i was only concerned with my own pleasures, then i could work on making her cum with my tongue over a few more tries

    • Sigh no. I've been In situations where on a first try or even second the guy can't make me cum but he's trying. In the past when I wasn't at my prime. That is different. There is a difference. These guys again are clearly intentionally finding my g spot or clit and once they do along with knowing it are suppressing or screwing it up. Or doing painful things not pleasurable. They know what they're doing. The minute they find the g spot is when they begin ruining it. I am at my prime now and can cum so many diff ways not even funny. They purposely mess it up but when they want me to cum they will do it easily. They're stalling to make me suffer or abuse my pussy so it won't cum. It's a sick game

    • No. He said that because he DID NOT want to make me cum. While he was going down on me he also asked for attention to his dick. He didn't ask me to use the vibrator to help me out. He eventually when he wanted to easily made me cum. They know what they're doing. It's a game to stay down there longer and get what they want out of it. And then pretend they were trying. A sick twisted game.

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  • I Ctrl+F'd "cum" and you typed it sixteen times.

    Not bad.

    • What does that shortcut do?

    • I think it finds a word on a page. And gives a count of how many times it was written lol

  • I would love to make you. Cum!
    Would like to masturbate with me sometime?
    Let me know!
    I would love it if we could.

  • the guys who aren't interested in making you or any woman/girl they sleep with satisfied have no interest in anything but themselves... they are players and selfish people...
    sex should be enjoyed both party's (or all depending on what is the dynamic at the time) involved
    and a simple wham bam thank you mam doesn't cut it in my book, as that sort of thing feels to me as an unfinished job

    both should be trembling at the knees and feel satisfied and craving more rather than feeling "is that it?"

  • Just drop a message for me

    • do any other women experience this.. its not that I can't cum they purposely DONT MAKE ME CUM.. worse, its not that they DONT GO DOWN ON ME they go down on me just to make me suffer... what does all of this mean

    • message me for the solution you needed!

  • Must be the kind of guys that are attracted to you.

  • Perhaps many guys don't understand that girls can have several orgasms in one sexual experience. Guys normally can't ever cum more than once in an hour's period.. So if guys think girls are generally the same, then they may feel inclined to not let you cum yet, because they think your be done and want to stop.. That's the only logical reason I can come up with.. It's either that or their selfish, or they just want to control your body.. Which is very likely, but fucked up in my opinion.

    • well I tell them I can cum many times.. i can cum probably 20 times no joke.. but they suppress one damn cum.. and never let it happen.. sometimes they'll go down on me fo rhours and only let me cum once.. its so cruel and sickening.. i won't let a guy go down on me from now on.. theyre evil.. ur right that's possibly what it is but I think their logic is more sinister.. i think they don't want to give me any pleasure and just cause me pain.. so they do the same thing.. rather than make me cum.. what they do is purposely INJURE MY PUSSY.. rub their face in it so much it hurts.. so I don't get an orgasm.. i get pain.. so in turn they are sadistically causing me pain not pleasure.. all done intentionally.. i'd say they're taking their anger out on me or maybe controlling.. theyre sick and twisted fukers.. theyre evil creeps.. i hope those jerks die.. this has been my sexual life.. these sickos not letting me cum.. one guy told me to use a vibrator.. he didn't want to make me cum.. theyre sick

    • i think from now on if i ever let that happen again which i never will.. im going to say if u can't make me cum in 5 minutes then you're out the door... i just can't pre-judge and mistreat every male i meet but they all end up being the same!! its like they hate me or are jealous or something... sickos.. theyre evil as hell... its shocking.. i even cringed letting this fuktard over but he seemed normal and talked about how normal he was and how he wanted to please me and go down on me.. they NEVER want to please you! all they want to do is abuse and make u suffer and please themselves.. they rae sick twisted sons of bltches.. what a waste of time and hell..

    • sorry not yelling just.. so freaked out.. and disgusted.. i let another creep use me for no reason.. so scary... i jsut dont let why they have no desire to please a pretty woman who is nice and want to make me suffer.. its so weird and sick

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  • Guys love to make girls cum - its just the timing issue... You need to get him to go down on you and make you cum first!!!

    • These guys don't want me to cum And there r lots of selfish guys that don't like it. I'm also really hot so it's weird. They won't make me cum then get up and say ok now suck my dlck. It's tit for tat. I sucked ur clit now u please me. Worse they have no interest they just want to get theirs. They're selfish scumbags

    • Every guy is doing this to me now. Even an old desperate man came over to massage. I let him go down on me. Then he asked me to touch his dlck. Not only is he desperate but his ad said only for ur pleasure and even he wanted to get his. I'm also really beautiful so it's crazy. These guys r psychos

    • No guy wants to make me cum. It's like cumming is gold and they want to give me nothing and take from me

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  • sounds like some dudes don't know what they are doing. the most important thing, well for me is that the girl im with are being pleased. she is the main focus and i will do everything i can to make her cum.

  • This may be what happens when you find guys on the internet; now I’m not saying it’s right (it’s wrong that the “beat up” your pussy) but they just care about ramming their dick down your throat and cumming in your face.

    Find a real man who cares about you and that orgasmic feeling will be heightened by the emotional attraction for him as well!

  • That's weird I always make the girl I'm with cum first that's awful supposed to be good for both they must be immature love to make the girl happy first

  • Give me six minutes and I'll turn your world upside down. I literally only need six minutes and I will have you shaking like the ground is falling out from under you. And that's just the beginning. No joke. Have it down to a science.

  • Internet dating is rather risky cuz there is no way of knowing if what someone tells u is the truth.
    In covid period its difficult. But dating in public places for longer than 1-night-stands will make it easier to detect assholes.

  • maybe search for different guys? lol.

  • A lot of men can't find the clit even if they had a picture in front of them. Find a guy who has a clean shaven fave and help him fins your clit. Then tell him what you like. I've been with women who liked me to suck on their clit and go slow while others want my tongue moving more like a vibrator speed.

  • Your choices are horrible. I mean 99% of men do that to you? Wow. Maybe reevaluate what you look for in a man

  • Show More (50)

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Why don't guys want to make me cum and what can I do about it?