Was it my fault he couldn't get hard? is he avoiding me?

We've known each other since October we're kinda seeing each other text a few times a week , We've met a few times, during the week we arranged to meet after a party he went. We kissed as soon as we saw each other he went right to fingering he went down on me we'd kiss/cuddle more, I gave him a bj he'd push my head down I almost gagged. He got hard or almost hard we tried to have sex me on top we couldn't get it it in or find the right place he needed to get harder again. He gave himself a handjob to get it back up & I'd try sucking more o try get hard again holding me close he put his finger in my mouth and we'd still try more things. He got up and left said f*ck think he went toilet then he came back said he's in work in a hour this was at 2.30am, he rung a taxi and paid for the taxi kissed and hugged goodbye he said see you later love you. I think he knew he wasn't getting hard again he was embarrassed, but we both focused on trying to please each other. This was Saturday night. It felt really awkward and rushed is he still interested? since he said "See you later love you" . We met up similar thing happened except he left the room came in the next morning and he dropped me home we kissed etc. I texted him tonight saying "Hey, I had a great time, I enjoyed spending time with you, hope you did too. Can't wait to see you again. Are you free next weekend/during the week just wondered if you wanted go out and do something?" He hasn't replied it's been hours he read it right away
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys only respond/talk when they know what to say and it gets them something.
    He WILL try sex with you again.
    Your worries should NOT focus on yourself vs his hardness
    instead focus on WHAT else is making this happen, e. g. too much booze, drugs, prior sex, out of physical shape, etc.
    Find out before this becomes your life long problem to share

    • Probably drinking that caused it he seems like a nervous guy he needed the drink. He just hasn't said anything since I'm the more assertive one with him he's not the dominant type. He could just be taking a while to reply still embarrassed. Was I ok to message him?

    • OK but a bit over the top & needy Next message needs to calm him and assure him you know what to do to make next time a success, so no worries, come over when you feel like it but call ahead, no drop in surprises please.

    • Oh it seemed needy should I have avoided the "hope you did too" part I wasn't sure whether to bring it up. I didn't realise it looked needy will he still be interested? or would he be thinking about how he said "love you" I didn't say it back he's said "I love you" before ages ago in text too. What will I say in the next message?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • No its not your fault. But sometimes a guy will get performance anxiety and it won't get hard. He could be tired, stressed, mayby diddnt have dinner that night. Coukd be taking medication, or drank too much.
    If he doesn't call back right away he may be just embarrased. Im sure he still cares

    • Do I just wait for him to text back? I hope it didn't look clingy texting Monday? He had got hard but he lost it an couldn't get it back , it's happened twice now but last time he didn't get hard. Did he mean the "love you" when he said it

    • You can always send a goid morning text. That isn't clingy. . Or say hello or i miss you. And the I love you. He may have meant it. I dont ever say that unless I mean it.. Do you think he uses drugs? Meth will make penis unable to keep an erection.

    • No he doesn't seem like the drugs type we never said the good morning texts. The last text I sent was "Hey, I had a great time, I enjoyed spending time with you, hope you did too. Can't wait to see you again. Are you free next weekend/during the week just wondered if you wanted go out and do something?" " we haven't met up outside yet he agreed to go drinks once but then said he had work. Maybe he has anxiety wanting to do well if he's attracted to me. He never said the "I" in love you just "See you later.. love you" it might just be taking long to reply

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  • It's not your fault. He's probably just embarrassed.

    • does he not want to talk to me yet? was it ok I texted him? we haven't gone out yet

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yes it is your fault.

  • No it isn't your fault it was most likely nerves, and he probably avoiding you out of embarrassment.

    • He just hasn't replied to my message at all is he just needing space or thinking about if he wants to go out? it's weird he said love you even with all the awkwardness

    • well no nerves wear off i think it was just awkward and she killed the mood

    • How did I kill the mood? he'd been drinking probably affected him getting hard we both seem a bit inexperienced though

  • No not ur fault must have been nervous

  • Embarrassment.

    • is he just needing space now? will he text back after? I didn't bring it up

  • u didn't pass the boner test, either he wasn't feeling it.. or it could be him and by him i mean.. I'll let u use ur imagination

    • he got hard or nearly but he lost it quickly he'd been drinking

    • haa this is too funny describe this guy to me