Are women considered "washed up" after 30?

[Anonymous]

I hear a lot of men, specifically men in their early 30s saying that once a women is 30-35 then she's damaged goods or she's "washed up", it isn't fair actually, because a man is actually considered more desirable in his 30s. Younger men seek after older women for sexual reasons, yet men who are in their early 30s find the nearest 24 year old to marry and procreate with. I'm 23, and I dated a 33 year old who was ready to settle, he had a house and a career but his motif was to find a women who was as young as possible to give him "healthy" children. To me, that's an excuse. A women at 35 is just as capable as a woman at 25 to bear healthy children. He also preferred younger women because he claimed that they had less baggage. I had to let this man go. Great guy, but I'm just a 23 year old who's getting her feet wet and starting a career. Why do some men feel like a woman suddenly loses her value once she's a certain age? Why is it ok for a younger woman to be with an older guy but never vice versa? Do you feel that once you hit the age to settle, you'll suddenly seek 20-somethings instead of women your own age? If so, why?

[Meedo]

Definitely you are not washed up in your 30s... There is one thing you need to know... people who look ''just'' for young girls have issues... now people do have preferences. But the segment of men that just want a very young girl is not the segment that you would want to date or marry any way.

Girls can maintain their sex appeal well into their 40s with proper care. And let me tell you that men and women age in the same speed and manner. The difference is that women get attracted to men for many things besides looks. While men notice women '' initially'' by their looks. Stop panicking, there is no guarantee in life for anybody... what i recommend is to meet and befriend as many men as you can... among them you will meet some interesting men that you will both click on many levels.. physical and mental. When this happens... and you 2 make each other happy... and suddenly you are 35 and he is 42 ... he will be looking at your beauty as a complete package of greatness. Not just a tight smooth body. You accept him as he is, you make him feel great , you share his hobbies.. you go alone wondering in the woods etc... shared memories etc...

Dont force love.. and don't run against a clock , on the other hand.. it is not wise to throw your social life and love life because of career and studies. Although career is important these days and men like their wife to have a good career.. it is not high on the mens list of attractive traits in women. Revise your convictions before you feel that you have been fooled. Definitely be ambitious and get a job you like.. but beware of some extreme feminist ideas that just hurt women on the long run. Remember to not compare yourself to other women or compare yourself to their choices. Make your own choices according to what is important for you. and then seek a compatible like minded man.

[Asker]

Wow wish I got this before I chose MHO. Thanks. Very good answer and advice. People always tell me to let go of the love life and focus on my career, because a career lasts longer then a relationship and I'm a firm believer that you can always balance the two.

[Meedo]

My goal was to help you get some perspective. I don't care about the MHO :) Your goal should be to fill your life with things you love, sports, hobbies, friends, family , culture, good books, travel.. the more you diversify your life.. the more you feel complete.. its like a healthy diet , you get healthy when you diversify the food you eat so you get all the vitamins. Passion is attractive, if you are ambitious and love your work , your man will love this... because ambition and happiness is contagious. The only time this backfires if you forget to put a special place for your relationship. Remember he is not with you because you re a great architect.. he is with you because you are a ''wonderful all around person'' who happen to be passionate about her career as well. See the difference? at 35 you might not appeal to the man who want a 21 year old. This is not because you are washed up.. its because he is fixated on a certain phase of his life. Never shed a tear on such men.

[Meedo]

but in the same time.. don't hate them either.. to each his own.. and if that makes him happy then fine. Focus on yourself and the men that are suitable and compatible. Remember that bitterness is very very unattractive. Forgive , let go and enjoy life the way you have it now and the way you will have it then. Happiness is attractive.. men don't want to be the clown to please a woman, if you are the cheerful kind.. they will want to be a part of your life. Don't delay love because of career.. but don't force love because of a clock. You job is to create opportunities for yourself. not to force a deal. You will have many soul mates... when you think you found one.. and he is interested.. give it a fair chance. Ofcourse there are signs that a man is serious.. but this is for another topic

[Theguyoverthere]

Well what you're seeing actually does happen to men in different ways. Like for example, it is said that if a guy is single and hasn't had a year long relationship that supposedly he is bad at settling down.

What you're noticing with women is really mostly men liking young innocent girls who will look "up" to them. Younger minds are more easily being "molded" in earlier years so the girls will go by his ways. Throw in the fact that they are probably more physically attractive to men and more gullible and you have an easy relationship where the guy feels 100% in control.

I personally couldn't tolerate a relationship with a girl in her early 20s. The problem I notice with 30s girls is they tend to go into a panic wanting a marriage, kids, or both and they look for a guy irrationally.

Now I don't feel it is a safe bet to assume 30s is "washed up." However, there could be a deal breaker the girl has, but I don't feel it is age specific. If the girl let's say does drugs, it wouldn't matter if she was 20, 25, or 30+.

Basically, girls in their 20s are not settled with life, probably immature still (I know all girls like to think they're mature but trust me, most are not), and constantly wanting a relationship.

30s girls are likely rushing marriage and/or kids. They feel they're time is running out.

40s and onward they're likely staying single, or they went through a divorce and got stuck.

[BelleGirl21]

It does make it harder being a woman in her 30's being viewed like that. Honestly I agree with everything you're saying.
Sure I'm not as skinny as I was when I was 20 and my hair isn't as good but I'm just as active, if not more. I'm comfortable with myself and I know my style. I think that viewpoint is so outdated and ridiculous, it's a shame so many men believe it.

[bde0001]

Yeah! Bella is a gilf! Jkjk

[Asker]

I know, it is outdated. I just want to add that I thought that you lied about your age at first but holy shit you're beautiful!

[BelleGirl21]

@bde0001, ha ha thanks. ;)

[BelleGirl21]

Asker, oh my gosh. Thank you so much! 😘

[bde0001]

I was jk, ur not a grandma r u?

[BelleGirl21]

@bde0001, uuummmm noooo...😬😠

[bde0001]

No no no. I didn't mean what it looks like i wrote. At first i was like, ur a gilf (grandma id like to fuck) but i was jk. But when u said ty, i thought, wait. No way she's a grandma. I was just asking cuz u said ty about the gilf comment

[Asker]

Bro... we get it! Lol.

[BelleGirl21]

@bde0001, I was hoping the "g" just stood for girl lol... don't worry about it :)

[springocelot]

it's like the saying, "women age like milk... men age like wine"

it's about fertility. you can still look good into your 30s and maybe even 40s but peak fertility is in your 20s and generally, for most women so too their looks. that's what men initially look for when they check a woman out - signs of fertility - things like waist-to-hip ratio, age, skin, etc.

[Kris85]

I get more attention and action as a single 35 year old now than when I did as a single 21 year old. So no, it's definitely not true. Thing is, is I have already beared my children and do not plan to have any more and I have already been married once so I can't speak for that as I am not inexperienced in that area at this age.

[Asker]

Thanks, very good answer.

[Izzy2102]

I totally agree with your update, especially since I don't find dating now easy and I see a lot girls struggling now too

But right now I wouldn't really want to date someone older than 30 either, not because of looks, but because it's just a big age difference. I prefer someone close to my age and I always will

[Asker]

A lot of guys were attacking me about why I chose to date someone over 30 in the first place but it was definitely a learning experience and a wake up call to appreciate my younger guys. However, like you said earlier, I agree. It isn't simultaneously easier for us because of our age. For one, it's hard in general and if you have a certain personality then it's even tougher plus add age to that. I've watched beautiful younger women turned down too. I just don't understand why some older men feel that they NEED a younger woman once they get a certain age, like they didn't appreciate us when they were our age.

[Izzy2102]

It's bitterness I guess. As a lot of people have said, even tho I disagree, a lot of guys feel it's tough for them in their 20s and that girls mistreat them because it's easy for girls and in their 30s it's more even or shifted in their favor. So they're now trying to hurt us, which they feel is ok because they've been hurt in the past. It's just bad character really And I do agree, it goes both ways. They really didn't appreciate us in the past, which I think is the reason so many girls DO date older men, and then they're hurt no one paid attention to them either

[dudeman]

I dont think they are trying to hurt women above a certain age they just have no interest in them. The same way a small portion of young men get the vast majority of young women. Those women are not trying to hurt other men they just have no interest.

[ImSoSozzled]

Purely statistically, there is a higher chance of birth defects the older a woman gets so wanting healthy children isn't just an excuse. Of course, most guys won't admit they want a younger women because they're better-looking but that obviously plays a big role.

Regardless of all of that, your age isn't something you need to worry about. You're still really young, so you have plenty of time before you're even in your 30's and then if you want to look at things positively, you can use your age to weed out the shallow guys who just go after younger girls for their looks, which I'm sure is difficult for you at the moment. If a guy isn't into you just because of your age (that isn't even that old), you wouldn't want to be with him anyways.

[Account]

If people genuinely think that, I will start considering men above 30 washed up and ugly as well and I will keep dating youngsters. :3

[mistninja314]

I'm accepting apps for a sugar mama/cougars now

[mistninja314]

I'd love a girl who was about 30-42 tops LOL

[Asker]

Lmao thats cool.

[RubiesinJuly81]

A lot of men think this way.

[alexander1991]

that's very true what you said about young man always liked older women because they're more experience you can say me I'm 23 I'll be 24 in July 11th and I like older women because I lost my virginity to older woman

[caz_johnstone]

How much older? 10 year gap?

[kheserthorpe]

Washed up? No.

Is peak female attractiveness early 20s? Yeah.

Don't expect to get a lot of sympathy from guys who went overlooked through their teens and early 20s over this. It's not that 30 year old women are ignored, it's that they are no longer the fought over commodity that early 20s women are.

[Asker]

I hear a lot of guys mentioning that. I know that it isn't fair for young men either, but them you have some girls who actually prefer guys her own age...

[kheserthorpe]

Sure. And some men prefer women their own age. It's just that if for example 1/4 of early 20's women are dating older it is creating huge competition for the remaining 3/4. But similarly with older people of some proportion of the men are dating younger it's creating more competition for the remaining guys. There's really not a 'cliff' in terms of attractiveness though - just a slow steady decline for all of us offset by how we take care of ourselves. There can be some guys avoiding women over 30 but that's more often guys who DON'T want to settle down and gave realized that most women 30-35 are looking to get serious fast. But if you want to settle down those guys are a waste of time anyway.

[Asker]

Why are they a waste of time?

[kheserthorpe]

People who avoid you because you might want to settle down are a waste of time If you want to settle down. Because they don't. So might as we'll find that out instantly not 6 months in.

[This_guy_here]

Yup, what this gentleman said.

[Jersey1]

Great post

[CommieDearest]

Pretty sure only douchebags say that and pretty sure plenty of women still have it going on after 30

[Asker]

I know for a fact that they do.

[bde0001]

Stacys mom has got it going on...

[Rapunzel2490]

Statistically speaking, women hit their sexual peak in their 30's. So I wouldn't say women over 30 are considered damaged goods. I also think women in their 30's are way less interested in dealing with a man child. They don't care as much to impress men who aren't deserving, and as such are deemed unwanted or damaged goods by insecure men.

[dudeman]

Women in thei thirties are a lot easier to impress I find. They are happy you talkto them it seems.

[Rapunzel2490]

Maybe if they are desperate. Every single 30 year old woman I know is extremely happy, and openly dating. Unless they have kids.

[Bluemax]

Well, I realize that my age might make many people think I'm biased, but I give you my word my answer was the same when I was in my early twenties.

A woman in her 30s is by no means washed up. In this day and age it's kind of silly to think so.

-however-
A woman in her 30s is less attractive than a woman in her 20s. There are biological reasons for this. Whereas I think it's silly to call a woman in her 30s "washed up," it's reasonable to think she is not as attractive as a woman in her 20s.

However, I don't think this is a reason to dread getting older. For one, who is to say you won't have found someone before you're 30? Secondly, whereas people, men and women, are more attractive in their youth, that doesn't mean they suddenly turn into hags and ogres when they hit 30. My wife was almost 30 when we met. She was lovely then, and I saw pictures of her when she was younger. I thought she looked MORE beautiful when I met her than she did at 21.

[Asker]

Great answer, thanks.

[littlepisces2727]

really? I just finished a grad program where I was 31 and my female peers were 23 and they all were overweight with cellulite... i was much more fit and looked younger than all of them. but ok

[Asker]

These men are basically exaggerating. At some point it really goes down to genes and how well you take care of yourself. You can look good at any age basically.

[thewanderingme]

lol, I'm glad I'm never around the sort of men you hangout with. ;$

[Random_chick_2384]

Duh faqu? 😕

[CHARismatic110]

30 is the new 20! Lol. But no, I don't feel like women after 30 are washed up. My Mom is almost 60 and she doesn't look or act like it. I feel like you're as young as you feel. Age is just a number.

[Asker]

Exactly. I agree.

[Mandarin]

A dry vagina and a dead libido aren't numbers.

[CHARismatic110]

@Mandarin and that has what to do with being 30?

[Mandarin]

The biological clock of both men and women starts ticking at 30, that's the golden number, when our bodies stop being young and begin to decay and deteriorate. And a specific symptom for women who reach that age is their sex drive dramatically drops then grinds to a near halt at 35. It's statistically proven.

[CHARismatic110]

@Mandarin not everybody is the same, statistics or not. I know plenty of women in their 30s with high sex drives and that have babies and all.

[Asker]

Mandarin makes absolutely no sense. He has these made up statistics that he claimed to have gotten from Google. Your body does NOT deteriorate at 30, it deteriorates when you stop giving a fuck about what you eat and put into your body at any age. @Mandarin enough with the fake statistics, we all know that you're a troll.

[CHARismatic110]

Yeah I'm like that doesn't even sound right. My sister will be 35 and she's not dried up at all.

[Mandarin]

It's genetics my dear. We live a natural cycle, we each have our time. At 30 it's all downhill no matter what you eat.

[Roycaryn]

Not all guys "age like wine" so to speak unfortunately and as a result, fear of aging is pretty common among men as well. Equally as unfortunate, character flaws don't inherently disappear with age either. So I'd have to go with no, ofc she doesn't.

[oldanddecrepid]

Women in the 30's are so hot!

Their mature and even more beautiful than when they were in their 20's because they have everything going on.

Don't get me women in the 20's are pretty and everything, its just by the time you turn 30, you will know what you want in life and have lived life long enough to gain some invaluable experience.

Women in the 30's are in their prime... why do you think men in their 20's seek them out?

[Asker]

I know that. Women in their 30s are and always will be hot. Matter or fact, women at ANY age are hot if they take care of themselves. There's no guarantee that a woman in her 30s even knows what she wants but most do. For one, older women are much more experienced in the bedroom and younger men enjoy a good pleasurable time

[oldanddecrepid]

Exactly... that's why I don't think women in their 30's or even beyond are at all washed-up! I just happen to think that a lot of women in their 30's are in their prime, rather than when they are younger.

[Bandit74]

In the 18-24 age range girls have the advantage in the dating world and have the most options. A lot of guys 18-24 struggle to get dates while girls are getting offers left and right and can pretty much choose the best offers. 25-30 things start to switch and guys become more desirable now that they are financially stable and mature while girls become more desperate for marraige and commitment. I really do believe there's a lot of truth to the expression that women are the gatekeepers of sex while guys are the gate keepers to commitment.

Its not that girls who are 30 are "washed up" its just you're not as desirable when you were younger and you have more competition from 20 year olds. You'll still be able to get dates but you won't have the same ammount of options you had when you were 21.

[Izzy2102]

a lot of girls 18-24 also struggle to get dates. I don't know why guys always think they're the only ones struggling there. So many guys make it seem like men are just falling over you when you're in your 20s, but that's just BS. It just really annoys me that guys think it's such piece of cake when you're in your 20s so it's ok or even that we deserve it to be looked over in our 30s

[Asker]

@Izzy2102 That's so true.

[lumos]

"while girls are getting offers left and right" I've only gotten one offer ever, and that was over Facebook when I was 15 :')

[Bandit74]

@lumos Ok maybe "getting offers left and right" was a poor choice of words but on average girls typically get more offers than guys. Guys are expected to approach and if you don't, you're somewhat screwed. Girls generally don't approach guys and can still get offers while still being somewhat shy. I know you're going to say "I've approached guys" ok, but in my opinion you are part of a minority. Not saying it doesn't happen just that it's not very common. I don't know if you are really intoverted or if Finland is different but I find it hard to believe you've only been asked out once. You're definitely above average looking and seem to be smart so it doesn't really make sense :/ not saying you're lying tho

[Bandit74]

I know dating isn't a cake walk for anyone but I do think it's harder for guys in younger years especially since this is the time when a lot of people are hooking up at parties. Girls generally have a huge advantage in the hookup scene. I think girls have an advantage at getting casual relationships but struggle to find a guy who is willing to commit and be loyal. You on average get more offers but not nessesarily good offers also you're more likely to be played. Are bad offers better than no offers? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Most guys struggle to get casual relationships but also have trouble getting dates since we are expected to have the confidence to approach. however in the 25-30 age range when girls are out of the party phase and are looking to settle then guys have it way better for dating. Girls always have the advantage for getting casual sex tho.

[SomeoneImportant]

"The value of vagina is only good from 18 to 29"

[samanthadawnn]

the value of your dick was was only good till you turned 21 & a complete asshole. your a pig & disgrace to decent men.

[Asker]

Lmao... fucktard comment.

[SomeoneImportant]

@samanthadawnn What's wrong? Get a little upest lol? Chill the fuck out, I don't believe the above quote. It's from a Patrice O'neal stand up, highly recommend it. Unless you're going to have a bitch fit over jokes as well lol...

[samanthadawnn]

no it's just comments from guys like you with your "jokes" that make all men seem like assholes.

[SomeoneImportant]

@samanthadawnn It's a joke, I don't see how a joke can make other men seem like assholes. You need to lighten up.

[SomeoneImportant]

I was going to post this one originally "The value of pussy is like cars, it ain't like houses"

[samanthadawnn]

some jokes don't , but one mans ignorant "joke" or "quote" can make all men seem like assholes. you never heard a girl say she would never date another guy because her ex was an ass? that guy she went with next could have been a really nice guy but that one ass ruined it.

[SomeoneImportant]

@samanthadawnn It's not my fault people want to make a general assumption of a gender based on one joke some ass hat told. If you want to assume all guys are assholes because of one short sentence you read on the internet, that's your problem.

[samanthadawnn]

I didn't say once that I myself assume all guys are asshole, iv dated a few & feel I had to date a few assholes to find a decent man, I'm just saying that there are many girls out there who strongly believe that just because one man is an asshole or treats her bad, that all the other will do the same.

[SomeoneImportant]

By "you" I didn't mean you specifically. Just girls in general. And people in general for that matter. @samanthadawnn

[samanthadawnn]

you really need to start making it clear when your joking and who your referring to when your talking , instead of saying something then turning around & saying you didn't really mean it that way

[SomeoneImportant]

I figure something like the above quote is so rediculousy (as the asker said lol) fucktard-ish, that people will assume it's a joke. Anyone who saw that stand up special would have known, I was about to say it was from a stand up, but I wanted to see the feedback I'd get. The "Lmao... fucktard comment" was pretty amusing lol.

[SomeoneImportant]

@samanthadawnn

[dudeman]

O patrice you so funny.

[Jim168]

@samanthadawnn but he is generally correct from a male's perspective. sorry if he hurt your fi fi's.

[miserybusiness]

We're not whales.

[Asker]

Lol I know

[jacquesvol]

At 30 a womam is reaching her prime! And that is not over at 40..
Nuff said.

[Asker]

I know. To me, women are sexier in their 30s becuase they're still young and but they are more settled in life also.

[Mandarin]

You are wrong. A woman reaches her prime at 50, and she is most sexually active at 90.

[jacquesvol]

Edit *woman*

[Mandarin]

Asker, I know! Woman at 30 are sexually insatiable! I read a statistic that said women in their 30s want sex a whole TWO times a year! Imagine if you shack up with one, you could have sex not just once but TWICE a year! Man it's so awesome!

[Asker]

@Mandarin Wtf are you talking about? I still hear my parents on the daily to this day. There is no way that that made up statistic is close to being true. You really just made that up in your head, didn't you?

[Asker]

@Mandarin

[Mandarin]

No. It's a proven statistic. Google is your friend.

[oldanddecrepid]

Most I have been with in that age bracket were sometimes twice a day lol

[BelleGirl21]

@mandarine I believe that should say "want sex two times a day"

[dudeman]

Im just not interested in locking down a women who gave her peak years to another man.

[Asker]

Lol so what if he lied and cheated on her? I know girls my age in long term relationships and sometimes end up hurt in the end. She could be 32, single and childless. She still has no chance huh? Wow, that's sad

[dudeman]

Why would she be with a guy like that. Own up yo your mistakes.

[Asker]

That's pretty heartless of a statement, but I could see that there's no trying to say otherwise with you.

[dudeman]

Its not like I wouldn't date women who are older the last girl Iwas with was twenty nine and did it against my better judgement because we were best friends for years at this point. In the end I just should have kept her as a friend due to her baggage. A younger version of herself would not have had this baggage.

[Asker]

Look, I know what you're saying, trust me. You have to understand that age doesn't always plays a role in how much baggage someone has. What if someone married straight out of high school and was divorced at 28, she's only been with ONE guy her entire adulthood so far vs. a 22 year old serial dater who's been with several men and had numerous FWB's. See what I mean? It's almost like every women at a certain age has this stamp on her head called "Baggage Alert". It's never that simple.

[dudeman]

See older women has a higher chance of super serious relationships. I dont want a girl im with to have had one. So her being divorced is a deal breaker.

[Asker]

Over her being with several men? So you'd take a woman who is young who's slept with several men over a divorced woman with no children? JUST because she is younger? Wow... ok. I guess you're stuck in your ways. Nobody over 24 better go your way lol.

[dudeman]

Nope didn't say that id not date either of them.

[dudeman]

It really depends obviously a young virgin is ideal but id accept a girl whos been with a couple guys for not a long period of time.

[Asker]

Oh ok. Whatever floats your boat.

[dudeman]

I really dont think im alone here the majority of adults are single. In my experiance men want to settle down young but women want to have a good time then they get cycled back into by he dating market but now have kids and baggae so a man with any sort of self worth and pride is forced to go younger out of sheer necessity.

[dudeman]

This starts at a young age women lose their virginity three years earlier then men on average.

[dudeman]

Not only that but when a women has had just five partnera she has less then a twenty percent chance for a marriage to last just five years and women file seventy percent of divorces. This means that after five dudes she is damaged for a long term commitment.

[douride2]

Damn I hope not!

[Asker]

Hahaha!