Why are women so stupid and shallow when it comes to online dating?

[AzzaBlue84]

I am sure that there are a lot of guys out there who are also stupid and shallow when it comes to online dating. And I know that there are some decent women out there too. But here I am talking about my own personal experiences of online dating (hence the title). I have joined the dating site 'Plenty of Fish' a little while ago. Since then I have viewed many profiles. Most of them have one thing in common, that they have been hurt or jerked around by sleazy guys who just want sex. Most of these profiles a written in such a way that they are practically begging and praying for someone decent to message them. I have spoken to a number of friends and family who have been on POF or similar dating sites, and they all tell me the same thing, that most of the guys that message them are f&*cking arseholes. The type of messages that these "men" write consist of vulgar and disrespectful questions like, what is your bra size? What colour are your panties? Are you wearing any panties? And my favourite, I have a big cock want to take it for a spin? Seriously? Now I am far from being perfect (but then, who is?), and I do not expect every woman that I contact to be interested in me or to fall madly in love with me. Take my word for it, my profile is well written, thoughtful and creative, and I am not half bad looking either. The type of messages that I send are always thoughtful, creative and respectful, because I am actually interested in getting to know them. However the majority of women just flat out ignore me, others have agreed to chat with me, but then I never hear from them. Others have gone so far as to block me entirely, WTF. I simply do not understand, these women say that they are wanting to meet a nice, decent respectful man, but they won't give me a chance. Am I missing something here? Please understand that I am not trying to verbally bash women in any way, as I do respect women as this was how I was raised. I am simply after some clarity here.

[AdamThomas]

They're shallow because they can be. They have so many men messaging them, and many of them are probably better looking, taller, and make more money. I got told that my height was an issue by a few (I've never let that bother me though) and a few wouldn't meet me because I didn't drive, even though they didn't drive either. Then when I did drive, they wouldn't meet me because it was an inexpensive car. That's just how a lot of the women on there are, and that's probably why they get fucked & chucked and end up single, bitter, and constantly end up coming on and off of the site.

As for being nice, I got no responses being nice. So I wrote my profile to sound like an arrogant asshole, but in a funny way. I basically said that it wasn't getting a girl that was the problem, it was finding one that could keep me interested. I said I don't like fat feminists or girls with short hair. And I said "if that sounds arrogant, it is. Go and have a cry to someone else, there are plenty of soppy guys here desperate for a girlfriend, they'll enjoy your attention". All of a sudden I started getting messages. Some told me I was funny, others told me I was an arsehole, but yet all of them talked to me and gave me their numbers where they wouldn't before. My girlfriend called me ignorant and said I sounded like a twat lol.

So basically the answer is bitches be cray.

[AzzaBlue84]

Well I am glad it worked for you (sort of), but I couldn't bring myself to that level. No offence intended.

[guy532]

Interesting. Last message I sent to a girl and got a response back (yesterday) was pretty douchee, basically made fun of her profile and called her a crazy hot cat lady. I only did that bc I was bored and she was really hot so I figured it didn't matter what I messaged to her since she wasn't going to respond anyway. Almost all of my messages are the complete opposite of that and I rarely get a reply.

[AdamThomas]

@guy532 - that's all I ever used to do, take the piss out of them in a funny way. I think it works because it's more fun than the usual boring messages, and it makes you seem like more of a challenge because it shows that you're not desperately trying to get laid and you're not a kiss ass. The reason I got written to more with my arrogant profile was that it provoked emotional responses from women, they either found me funny or they got mad. The thing is you can turn even a negative emotional reaction around into a positive if you know what you're doing, but you can't turn indifference around. If you don't provoke any sort of emotional response and you just sound like a normal boring guy she's going to quickly forget you and move on. Instead I say things that make people laugh and ask "how dare he say something like that? Is he serious? Who does he think he is?"

[AzzaBlue84]

So basically what you are saying, is act like a pig and I'll get some attention. I have too much integrity and self respect to stoop to that level. And if there are women who find those obnoxious qualities attractive, then they are seriously messed up and I want nothing to do with them.

[oldanddecrepid]

Women control the dating site world...

and by that I mean, guys will try and girls can sit back and have nothing to do with them. To stand out from all the nimrods just trying to get in their pants you have to show them what your really like in your profile. Try to get break away from the standard stuff and open up as to who you are. That will make you standout in a crowd of men.

My second point is, girls are way more picky when it comes to online dating. It is nothing for a reasonably good looking woman with values to just sit back and enjoy all the suitors that drop her messages. It is much easier to be very selective when you are looking onscreen and lots of guys are after you. So it may look like they are being a snob, when in realty, they are in no real hurry and just looking for their Mr. Perfect that fits all their criteria.

In reality, they should be saying... okay I am going to select two guys this week and go on a date, and see if one "clicks", rather than staying at home with their computer months on end, still looking for Mr. Perfect!

[shesAcylon]

Okay, so I was on that exact site. That is actually where I met my fiance. But before that happened... Even the nice guys can flip. So I think girls just start to be really REALLY cautious. I had multiple incidents that started out great and as soon as I gave out my personal number, things went bad. Guys were so nice and sweet online and then two texts into a conversation offline, it was "can i see a naked pic" Jeez. It really isn't you. That site has millions of members and about 75% are creeps. I had a really great profile that I thought was everything that would explain what I wanted and who I was but I still kept getting creeps. Then I had a friend look at it and he re-wrote it to sound nothing like me and sound a little bitchy lol and I got soooo many responses. Its kinda like a resume, the shorter the better. Point out the best things, the eye catchers and leave some mystery. Girls love that shit.

[Redlily78]

You are doing the right thing about being nice. Most of those sites have people that are not right in the head. They won't be able to trust if they have unresolved issues. It's tough finding nice people on dating sites. Keeping their interest is hard also because women have a lot of men messaging them. Keep trying. There are some normal nice women on there. I met my husband on date hook up. Know that's a friggin miracle! Lol that is a super sleazy site.

[AzzaBlue84]

I am glad it worked out for you.

[bang678]

All i got from this was , "women dont like me, therefore they are bitches"

[AzzaBlue84]

Wrong, you misunderstood. I understand and appreciate the fact that some women may not find me attractive, which is fair enough. I just don't understand their mentality, where they are constantly being harassed by other perverted men, and that they say that they want to meet a decent and honourable man. Then when someone decent like me comes along who pretty much satisfies most of their checklist of desirable qualities, who also does treat them with respect and dignity. then what do they do, they ignore me. They are not obligated to contact me, but seriously, what's the harm in exchanging a few messages.

[bang678]

Women really don't owe you an explanation. If they don't want to message you, its no big deal.. Besides, say they did message you to be polite but weren't interested in you, would you then claim they were leading you on and being a tease?

[AzzaBlue84]

You're right they don't owe me an explanation, and yes I think it would be bad for them to lead me on, for the sake of being nice. All I saying here is that, women should not be so quick to write someone off. Seriously, you should see some of the profiles, they are bitching how there are no decent guys out there and are practically crying for a nice guy to come and chat to them. If our positions were reverse, and if I was a girl who was being messaged, by dozens of disgusting perverted men, and then all of sudden, someone nice and decent starts to take an interest, I would give him some of my time. And after a few exchange of messages, I would determine whether or not I feel a connection with him, and then act accordingly. I do understand what you are saying, but all I am suggesting is that some women, should take a chance, what do they have to lose?

[bang678]

you may think you're what they're looking for. Just because you're nice, doesn't mean you are what they want

[AzzaBlue84]

You're right, I may not be what they are looking for, on the other hand I may be JUST what they are looking for. However, unless they take a chance and learn a bit about me through a conversation, they will not know for certain. And if they want to reject me out right, hey that is their right. But they may be missing out on having a long lasting and meaningful relationship. One thing that I do know, according to many profiles, dating articles that I've read as well as speaking to friends, is that women's current methods of trying to find a date, is simply not working.

[guy532]

since we're on this subject can some of you girls give me an honest opinion of my profile?

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/ilovedesk1

The crappy part is that there's hardly any girls that use dating sites in brisbane :(

[Taffi]

Could you maybe post an example of a message you would send a woman?

[AzzaBlue84]

I know that every woman on the site is probably being messaged by dozens of guys (if not more). The last thing that I want to do is pressure someone onto chatting with me. I can't remember a message word for word, but I would say something like "Hello

[Taffi]

Just "Hello"?

[AzzaBlue84]

No it didn't display the whole message. I'll usually say Hello

[AzzaBlue84]

I don't know what is going on, my response is not being displayed in full WTF.

[Taffi]

That's odd..

[AzzaBlue84]

Hopefully, this will get through. What I'll usually say will depend on what info is contained in the profile. My message is usually something like "Hello ProfileName, I enjoyed reading your profile and would like to learn more about you." To show that I've actually read their profile I will either briefly talk about an interest that we have in common or compliment them on some of their accomplishments. I may even compliment them on their picture, by saying something like "I think that you have a nice smile" Then I will simply ask if they would be interested in chatting. Bottom line Taffi, is that I want them to know that I took the time to actually read their profile, but at the same time, I don't want to pressure them or bore them. So I keep I messages relatively brief. I hope this answers your question.

[Taffi]

Well, in that case, your message seems pretty decent. The only advice I can give you is to not ask if they want to talk to you, but rather ask how they are doing, or something similar. I can't really speak for anyone but myself, but when I recieve messages in which some guy asks if I want to talk with him, it makes me think of him as not very confident.

[AzzaBlue84]

Cool, I appreciate the feedback.

[RationalMale]

For one, POF is a cesspool of whales, single moms, and damaged goods.

For two, online dating has so many thirsty men and so many trawlers mass messaging, it both bores and massively inflates the egos of a lot of women.

[AzzaBlue84]

I am kind of getting that feeling. Would you recommend any other dating site?

[RationalMale]

okcupid isn't as bad. i've met a couple decent girls off it.

[AzzaBlue84]

Thanks. Much appreciated.

[AdamThomas]

Okcupid is terrible lol. Too many feminists.

[BeautifulMystery]

Why are men so perverted and assholes when it comes to online dating?

[AzzaBlue84]

That's a good question, I wish I knew the answer. But we are not all like that, you do know that, right?

[Youssefalez]

fishing :D

[Anonymous]

when it comes to everything. not just online dating..