My boyfriend used to sleep around and for some reason I feel ugly. How do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

I do understand we all have a past. I have a past. But my past sucks, so I can't see it from his point of view. His past is awesome. He had tons of one night stands. He had a lot of sex. What guy doesn't like that? So I'm sure his sex-filled past was awesome, and since we live in a small city, we always run into the girls he slept with. They're all gorgeous. Me? Not so much. Not like them. They're like those girls a guy just can't trun down. I'm the girl you talk to for hours, but yeah, I've been turned down more than a few times. I feel ugly, and yes, he loves me, yes, he's serious about me. But sexually? I can't hold a candle to his past. When we slept the first time, he didn't even ask me to take my top off. It seems like it took time for him to start enjoying my body. It wasn't instant lust like it was with them. He doesn't do anything NOW to make me feel ugly. But thinking about his past, comparing myself to the girls that he's sletp with and we run into, and also considering his friends still joke about his past conquests (in front of me, no less)... well, I feel uncomfortable and ugly and I don't want to. HOW do I get rid of these feelings?

[LogicBomber]

You are comparing yourself to these other girls. Guys don't compare their partners to other girls. We don't compare girls to p*rn . We don't compare period. This is a female thing and it is something women do constantly with every female she interacts with, women are always sizing each other up and trying to see where they are better of worse than other women. This is ridiculous and unnecessary since you can never be all the good things at once. Plus guys are never interested in the same thing in all females. Sometimes we interested in the stupidest things, like the way a girl scrunches her nose when she is nervous or something.

Your comparisons and insecurities are eventually going to ruin your relationship since it will start to put a strain on it. You need to try and over come the idea that you have to be better than his past partners, he isn't thinking about it, you shouldn't either.

[AngryHorny]

It seems like the real problem here isn't your boyfriend's past, it's your current lack of self-esteem. If you could just figure out why your boyfriend is with you and not these other girls, you'd be sorted.

[Asker]

Well, I know why he slept with them. They're gorgeous. He's with me because of my personality, not my looks.

[singlebee]

Dump him and find someone who has not slept around so much and who really appreciates you... Problem solved!!!