Am I asexual or just a loser?

[Anonymous]

Im 19 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. Sometimes I wish I had one but at the same time I can't imagine it working out well. I feel like Im romantically attracted to girls but not sexually. Whenever I imagine having sex with a girl I feel nausea. And I just imagine how bad it would end. And Im not sure if its because Im actually asexual or because of how ashamed I am of my apperance. It might be both. And no I dont have bad confidence Im just being realistic. I mean most people are ugly its not like Im alone about it I just happened to draw an extremely short straw xD. I mean I do get aroused by p*rn and what not just not when I imagine myself doing those sorts of stuff. Also I feel that at my age Im already so behind with relationships and what not that there's not really any chance to catch up. It would be amazing if someone who actually is 100% sure of their asexuality could respond I would appriciate it a lot. Also I heard that depression can drasticaly decrease your sex drive and Im currently depressed and Im taking medication for it though it isn't really helping... Anyways hope you all have a nice day :)

[CreativeUsername_no]

From personal experience, "attracted romantically but not sexually" is very likely to be the depression. Merely getting hung up on girls in your thoughts counts as romantic at the age of 19 - or it did for me :P

And that's what depression is, just an endless cycle of unhelpful thoughts. True libido won't occur until you correct that. I wish you the best of luck with the anti-depressants and any other help you are getting. Please be patient with it, because it takes time.

I used to suspect I was asexual, but these days experience strong heterosexual thoughts, and occasionally even bisexual stuff. You'd be amazed how much this stuff changes after a little peace of mind.

[CreativeUsername_no]

oh by the way, exercise regularly!

[Asker]

Thank you for the message! Im not feeling so good right now so I can't really write a proper response. But I did read it and I appriciate it. And yeah I do try to train regularly :)

[404filenotfound]

It seems less like you're asexual am more like you're suffering from anxiety, but the only person that can determine whether you're asexual or not, is you. Either way, I wouldn't rush to put a label on things; try to focus less on the destination and more on enjoying the ride, good luck, man! :)

[Anonymous]

If u get aroused by p*rn u aren't asexual. R u sure u didn't get molested or abused as a kid and u suppressed the memory but it made u afraid of some sex? Because I was molested as a little girl and it made me sick when I'd think about having sex with a guy or something like that

[Asker]

I was but it was a long time ago and I didn't see her face.

[Opinion Owner]

Then my friend, we have found the answer

[Asker]

Im not sure I stopped having nigthmares about it like 5 years ago

[Opinion Owner]

That still doesn't mean it didn't tramatize u and turn u off from sex. I didn't have nightmares about mine for like seven years but I still got sick thinking about sleeping with a boy or even kissing one

[kaigem]

I completely agree with you bc the same thing happened to me. Was going to bring that up, but you already did.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah he's probably just suppressing everything and it's causing him to have anxiety about sex, because he's afraid of it being like before

[Asker]

Well when it happened I was really young and didn't really know about sex... which is lucky for me since me not being completely aware of what was going on until afterwards made it less traumatizing.

[Asker]

Also my thoughts are to both of you. I think one day maybe you can find a nice guy that you can trust. Or maybe a girl I dont know :D.

[Opinion Owner]

I doubt that, u know what it means now and judging by what you've said u r indeed traumatized because of it. And u probably need therapy like I do

[Opinion Owner]

Lol well I'm still looking for a nice guy, haven't met one yet. And if I find a nice girl I'd be happy with that to

[HyperOrphic]

It's not asexuality you're suffering from; I have an asexual friend and they aren't turned off by sex... they just do not have a desire to have sex with or be with anyone.

It's likely just anxiety and insecurity that is causing your aversion.

[Asker]

Asexual people can be romanticaly attracted to people though. Just not sexually. I have been reading about it.

[HyperOrphic]

She never found herself romantically attracted, neither have I met other asexuals who were romantically attracted to anyone because they see no point - not saying there aren't asexuals who aren't that way, but I literally have never met an asexual who even wanted a relationship, and I know about four, and none of them are disgusted by the idea of sex either.

[Blueeyes18]

maybe your gay or not really a sexual person

[Asker]

Im absolutely not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with being that.

[Blueeyes18]

I didn't say that 75% of my friends are gay

[Asker]

Nono I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't offended by you thinking Im gay while still being clear with that Im absolutely not gay :D

[Blueeyes18]

okay so maybe u just need a sexual experience to get going

[xYourFallenAngel]

You are both 😏

[ihatethiswebsite]

Lol.