Sexual Relationships
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I fantasize about sleeping with my boyfriends friend... why?

I've been dating my boyfriend now for almost 5 months. Everything has been going so well! We're still as in love as the day we first met. We don't fight too often, and we get along very good. It's been the longest I've ever dated anyone quite honestly. He and I just go so great together, and I love him very much (as he feels the same for me.) I've never cheated on anyone in my life, nor have I been cheated on. I wouldn't ever cheat, even if it was somebody famous or more attractive or anything like that. Unfortunately my boyfriend has been cheated on in the past by his ex-girlfriends though. He also thinks I'm too good for him sometimes and probably can't see why I wouldn't cheat on him as well like the other girls have in the past. But I can't help but imagine sleeping with my boyfriends friend! Let's just say his friend is named John. John has known my boyfriend for a very long time. He's a chill person and is just hilarious to me because of the things he says. John makes me laugh very easily. He's also nice and considerate and is older than me and my boyfriend. Whenever I'm briefly alone with John for any reason he ends up paying me some kind of compliment, or saying something about how I'm different from other girls and how cool I am or something along those lines. Whenever me and my boyfriend are hanging out with him and we have to leave he says goodbye "(my name)" every single time. If we're playing a card game or any kind of game or fun activity he usually makes me the target of advice, teasing, or singles me out for some other reason. When my boyfriend was on the phone with John on speaker and I was sitting right next to him, he made me laugh and John said that the laughing turned him on. There's a lot of little things he does that strike me as a bit odd, or like he's trying to flirt with me, or perhaps has a crush on me. My boyfriend has taken notice but hasn't outwardly said it. He just mentions certain things and is
Updates:
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becoming suspicious of John. Just the other day before John and another friend picked me and my boyfriend up at his house, my boyfriend said if they offer to drive me home don't let them, and he made up an excuse so he could drive me home himself. Which is perfectly fine, but it makes me think my boyfriend is catching on as well to how John is acting. Because John is doing these things, and me and my boyfriend notice I can't help but imagine actually cheating on him with John. It's been running
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through my mind for a couple weeks now. The only problem is the idea is somewhat turns me on. I keep fantasizing about sleeping with John or both him and my boyfriend at the same time and it's really not helping. I would never cheat on my boyfriend. Nothing at all has happened between me and John either. But what can I possibly do to get this idea or image out of my mind? Me and my boyfriend have something really amazing together, and I love him like crazy! Our sex life is amazing as well, he
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you need to back away, tell his friend your with his friend and it makes him a very crappy friend for trying to steal his friends gf, he shouldn't be flirting with any of his friends gfs, maybe this is why his past gfs have cheated on your bf, sounds like he chooses all the wrong friends... so id distance yourself from this friend of his, if he steals his friends gfs think how many of them he's gotten through? he's probably flirted them all. or slept with all his mates ex's, since he said not to accept a ride from any of his friends it sounds like they are all like this to me... i think a definite bad choice in friends on his part, just stick with your bf because you know his friends are wrong for doing this, his friends are obviously bad news, is it worth sleeping with his friend just once but hurting your bf? i think not.

  • Ummmm. What? How and why are you allowing John to act and say those things? He sounds very disrespectful and like a piece of crap for blatantly hitting on his friends girl friend. You need to call him out and stop talking to him period. By letting this continue you're betraying your boyfriend

  • Its okay today my boyfriend friend and I had sex we went out for drinks and my boyfriend left for a emergency call and he left us and we got really drunk we ended up having sex in the bath room how to tell my boyfriend or not to tell him

    • It's not ok you cheated on your bf, i can't say he will be happy if you do tell him

    • Okay

Most Helpful Guys

  • John' knows what he's doing. They are well known tactics to get a girl interested, and you're falling right in. If you allow it to continue and flirt back, then yes, you will be like the other girls who have cheated on the poor guy. It all. starts with the mind. Get away from that John dude. If you can't, then it's better to call off your current relationship, otherwise you'll--deliberately--deliver a heartbreak.
    That aside, I wonder what kind of friend would do that to another, begs a lot of questions on John's character.

  • You need to stop thinking like that... You are just setting your relationship to break lator.. and will even end up cheating on your bf which will make you a disgusting person... that you are half way there already...
    I say if you can't stop thinking about this other guy then you should leave your bf for good.. Cause he deserves a gf who is not a total bitch and who doesn't think about other men sexually when I'm a relationship...

    • How am I a total bitch because the idea is on my mind? People imagine sleeping with people or have dreams about sleeping with other people all the time. It's not that I would actually go through with it, it's just the image is stuck in my head. Most guys talk or think about how they imagine sleeping with their friends that are girls whether they're in a relationship or not. It's not like I'm talking about how I imagine fucking his friend to my boyfriend, I keep it as a private thought. All I wanna do is get rid of that thought. It is literally impossible for anyone to be in a long relationship and not once imagine sleeping with someone else.

    • If you want to get that image out of your head then... Stop hanging around this guy so much... I am sure your bf is getting suspicious of this good behavior and will stop hanging around him already... And by the way when cheating starts with a fantasy... You should at least so thinking like that and stop feeding your mind...

    • And by the way this guy john is an asshole!!! He knows how to get you interested in him... i, hope you don't fail for that... Cause john knows exactly what he is doing... He isn't your bfs friend... he is an real asshole... The only pay i don't understand if why is your bf allowing him to spend time with you... He should be more mature... he sounds stupid too

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 6

  • It's natural. We men do the same thing.

    • yep all people do this thats why people suck

    • People don't suck because of that; it's part of evolution because, from an evolutionary perspective, it is best for a species to be as genetically diverse as possible. You get that diversity by fucking around and dreams are expressions of that innate desire. At the same time, there is love and that overrides the desire to act. I see beautiful women almost everyday that I would love to plow, but I won't and I rarely even dream of something like that but I might have a daydream fantasy about it. But, still, I won't act because I love my wife. I know she gets hot and bothered by guys who don't look like me, but I'm not bothered by it. I trust her and knows she loves me and we both recognize that there is more to a relationship than just sex. You know, it isn't immoral for a vegetarian to want to dream about eating a burger every now and then. That's no different.

  • It seems to me that you miss a phase of playing around with bad boys. Some guys , bad boys, are capable of stirring emotions in women. Other guys , your boyfriend make a great relationship partner. But they aren't able to stir the same emotions and excitement.

    am i right?

    There is really nothing wrong with how you feel. You simply can't control how you feel. But you should assess what you want at this moment of your life.. playing around and getting excitement or a stable relationship.

    Have you seen the movie.. Vicky Christina Barcelona?

  • stay out of the situation and don't be alone with him. let the guys hash it out, trust me.

  • Get away from John immediately. You will KILL your bf's trust in you and his trust in any future relationships. If you love your boyfriend, you will forget John even exists. If you really love him, you'll tell your boyfriend what John has been doing and John will no longer be in the picture to tempt you. Do what you will, but you will tear that boy to pieces if you don't stop that shit right fucking now.

  • It's quite normal I am sure of it.

  • Your story doesn't add up, you cannot be in love with your boyfriend if you are fantasizing about John.

    It's not your boyfriend you really want, it's John.

    I would break up with your boyfriend and pursue John.

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