Sexual Relationships
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Lost my Virginity, now he won't talk to me?

So I'm 19 and i recently losy my virginity to this guy guy who's 31, before that he thought I was a slut but once he found out that I was still a virgin, his way of thinking totally changed, even the way he talked to me after that.. he was being sweet! The next day, he messaged me and asked me how im doing, we talked for a bit and then he said that he has to go to sleep. I texted him the other day, he was very blunt and eventually stopped responding to my messages, now he just won't talk to me. Can anybody here please explain to me why he's acting like that? What am i supposed to do?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • If he's not your boyfriend, then you should probably expect a reaction like that. : / No offense girl, but if a guy is not your boyfriend then he has no duty to show you a certain amount of respect, courtesy, and decency or at least that's how the minds of many men operate. You can't really b*tch at him or call him out on it if you agreed to being a momentary piece of a** even if it was your virginity. I'm sorry to say that so bluntly but it's the truth. You can't expect girlfriend treatment if you are going to willingly be used and treated like the opposite of a girlfriend.

    It looks like he used you as some sort of trophy/simple sexual gratification then disposed of you like you're trash which YOU ARE NOT. He's just a pig and an asshole.

  • He totally used you, his way of thinking obviously never changed... he obviously just wanted to see how easy you truly were... plus 31? he's way too old even for someone who's 23 lol stick to your own age range, honestly age doesn't make a dfference to dudes and their need to play girls... just doesn't... they will always be little boys even at 50 lol don't believe a dude so easily and don't be ready to jump into bed with one... especally when they use sex to humiliate females... it's disgusting behavor... id text him and tell him if he even dares go around telling people i'm a slut or his friends keep doing it you will call the police, it's unacceptable behavior. Take care of yourself.

  • It sounds like he just used you for sex. There's nothing you can do now, he got what he wanted and that's that. All you can do now is try to move on and not make the same mistake in the future. This is why it can be more beneficial for some people to wait until you're in a long-term committed relationship with someone who you know respects you/loves you before having sex with them.

    I'm sorry that happened to you but in my honest opinion, the signs were there. He assumed you were a "slut" and then suddenly changes his behavior when he finds out you're a virgin. Then he talks you into having sex with him. I suppose he just liked the thought of being your first.

  • I won't sugar coat it - he used you for sex. He never wanted anything more and he knew you would be naive enough to fall for his charms and sleep with him so now he's gone because he got what he wanted. In a few weeks, he may message you again acting like nothing's wrong, don't fall for it. It's probably so he can get laid again. There's nothing you can do but to accept that he used you and to move on.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Oh, he played you. You really didn't see it coming? I mean, he thought you were a slut (first red flag), then changed his way of treating you after knowing you're a virgin (second red flag), then he managed to convince you to have sex, and lose your virginity, without being in a relationship (third red flag). He could've put a huge neon sign that said "I'm gonna play you" and you still wouldn't have noticed.

    He was excited to deflower you, it was his whole purpose, he succeeded, so he has no more reasons to talk to you. You were tooooo naive.

    • This right here

    • he didn't know that i wasn't a virgin, i literally told him like 5 minutes before we did it

    • "once he found out that I was still a virgin, his way of thinking totally changed, even the way he talked to me after that.. he was being sweet" You should have said that before, 'cause this phrase gives us the impression that he knew way before having sex. But anyways, that's even worse, he was treating you like a slut all the time before getting you to bed, so you either like being treated bad, like a slut, or you just give it too easy.

    • Show All

  • Yes unfortunately he got sex from you now he moved on
    i could never do that to a girl i don't know what to think
    it's sad to think that people like him exist in this world
    well if he doesn't get back to you i do hope you can put
    him behind you for good i believe you deserve much
    better :/

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What Girls & Guys Said

24 23

  • Some guys like to use girls for sex.

    He got what he wanted now he left...
    "He hit and ran."

    That's why I often tell women to be careful who they give it up to.

  • First, I think you should have avoided sex all together with this man like HELLO!! He calls you a slut the is just sweet because you're a virgin? Obviously he was trying to get into your pants like no. Shouldn't have slept with him but I say it's a lost cause. If he wants to call you, he will. It was probs just a hit and quit like Bert said.

  • 1.bp.blogspot.com/.../Untitled.png

    When he thought you was a slut that was a sign that he just wanted to hit it and quit it. Then once he found you wasn't and was a virgin he felt really good about himself as he got a bonus. Beware of much older guys hitting on you.

  • Because he got what he wanted?

  • girl, 31 is old. That kinda happened to me. When I was 19 I dated a guy that was 27. We dated for 3 months and he dumped me like nothing. I think it's cuz he was more into getting the cherry than getting the girl. I think you should just keep to yourself and don't text him back. If you really like this guy than let him chase you. If a guy likes you he will show it.

  • Just another typical "scumbag" being lead by his knob, who now has chalked up another conquest to his pathetic seedy list.

    Regrettably you must now somehow find a way of putting this down to experience.

  • He just wanted to use you, that's why you shouldn't talk to men 12 years older. Or get intimate with them

  • He just used you to get your virginity and now wants nothing to do with you. Just leave him alone

  • Lol, welcome to the world of sex with assholes.

    • hey, he doesn't deserve the asshole title, its too good for him. he's a douchebag instead lol

    • @BertMacklinFBI He doesn't even deserve that! He's a janitor who plays oboe on the weekends! Weak!

  • So sorry!! He sounds like a jerk, try and forget about it, I know it hurts, but look at it like your real "first time" is yet to come... or cum, lol sorry, you will be fine, let him go.

  • sounds like a case of hit it & quit it.

    • with a little extra detail... he's turned on by virgin girls

    • Sounds like a case you are all too familair with.. ;P

    • @sugarchateau aww hell no girl! hahaa. but most people know of the hit it n quit it.

    • Show All

  • He used you. He took your virginity, now you're damaged goods. What a creep... He shouldn't even be messing with a girl your age.

    • I wanna beat that guy up so bad right now.

  • He's a douche bag I think, doesn't want you to to cling since he was your first and on top of that sex isn't exciting with a newbie, requires patience and work on his part that he most likely not interested enough to go through it

    Keep in mind, it's not easy to teach someone inexperienced

  • been there, done that. Lost my virginity to a guy 15 years older (he was 34 I was 19)... we were neighbours though, but now we dont talk at all. Some of them are just some horny bastards.

  • Okay, understanding this situation is hard. There's loads missing. How long have you known each other what premise did he agree to have sex on, is he with someone else, do you usually talk?

    Yes the most likely thing is he used you, but he might also not be someone who likes to text much, or just thought it was a one time thing.

  • I don't think your virginity had anything to do with it... he sounds like an immature ass.

    He probably targets young girls because his wife or SO likely gave him the boot, and now he targets younger women bc as you mentioned he thought you were a slut.

    The fact is he likely feels all women are simply sluts bc one hurt him so badly.

    That is no way treat another person, and no way for you to lose your virginity!

    Sorry to hear he was such a Richard Noggin to you :(

  • you got played

  • Some guys just get what they want and leave.
    You dont need that kind of person in your life. Cut him from your life and move on and pic better dudes
    Good luck hope this helped.

  • He basically used you for sex. I know it sounds horrible, but this is why people should people their own age. There's so many older people who go for younger people just for the sex, because they think they're naive.

    Not being mean, but it is obvious why he did it.
    As @BertMacklinFBI said 'hit it and quit it'

    • This has nothing to do with age. I've seen plenty of young guys do this too. It all has to do with the person.

    • I never said it was only Girls.. That's basically what 'Cougars' do to guys. 'Hit and quit' I think it has plenty to do with age. I am seeing a huge amount of correlation with this factor difference.

  • He just wanted you for sex and nothing more

  • Show More (27)

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