Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How to ask my boyfriend to go down on me?

My bf and I have been dating for about 8 months. We live together. And we are in a healthy, stable, and loving relationship. I frequently go down on him However he has yet to go down on me. Our sex is great but I've been having trouble "getting there" because there's not enough foreplay and he doesn't stimulate my clit during sex. I feel weird asking for what I want though! Especially oral. Even though I give him oral almost every time we have sex I have bad jaw problems and can only do it for about 5 minutes max before I have to take a break or stop completely. Sometimes less. So I feel bad asking for oral from him. If he liked doing it he would have done it on his own by now right? So.. Is it fair for me to ask him to go down on me? Opinions please!
Updates:
+1 y
I grew some balls and asked him for it... He said he'd had a bad experience before and had never done it again but that he'd do it if I wanted him to. But I don't want him to do something he's uncomfortable with.
+1 y
He clarified for me. Apparently it wasn't that he "had a bad experience one time" It was that he's only done it ONCE and he didn't like it. He says he "has a texture thing"
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Most Helpful Girls

  • After eight months of not doing it, he could be thinking since you haven't asked, you're fine with not having it. He could also be very self-conscious about doing it. Most guys are if they haven't had much experience with it, or had bad experiences with it. If you've already been together eight months, communication about sex should just be very plain now. So simply asking, "I would love it if you went down on me," should be enough at this stage. If you are looking for roundabout ways, ask him something like, "If you were to lick me out, what would you prefer? If I use a scented lotion or powder? Do you like shaved or trimmed?" This way it gives an affirmative that you want it, and he can answer you what he would like you to do. Also, let him open up with talking about why it's taking so long. I think once you make this a less-scary experience for him to talk about, the better it can be to actually do it. He's probably terrified to bring it up or make suggestions right now since it's never been discussed at all.

  • Shave your pussy, wash it off good with plain lukewarm water and tell him you want him to lick your clit. Also, have him look at porn and stroke his cock for awhile, then when he's ready, have you suck and lick his cock to completion. That way you'll only need to suck and lick it for less than five minutes and your jaw will be fine.

  • Just tell him while you're making out that you want him to go down on you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Dont feel guilty about asking for oral. Ask him to go down on you. Let him know that you desire it. A closed mouth dont get fed, or a closed kitty. Lol.
    Next time your in bed making out. Before you go down on him change positions to a 69 position have your kitty right in front of his face and as you start sucking him open your legs so he has that awesome and irresistible view of your kitty. Honestly its hard not to start licking it at that point. Maybe you can start to play as he sees this he will be more tempted to help you out.

  • Hmmm. Just ask him. You should probably ask DURING sex, not make it into a discussion before sex. Just work it into the dirty talk. Say something like "it'd really make me wet if you went down on me baby" or something like that.

    If he refuses to go down on you, stop going down on him. Simple as that. Nobody likes a selfish lover. If i were in his shoes, i would've done it by now, and most likely wouldn't even ask for BJs (since it makes me cum faster).

    • He's always given me what I asked for. When I needed more foreplay (his idea of foreplay was making out for 5 minutes) he definitely got better about it, still not quite there... But better. I know he'd probably do it if I asked. Hell I had to ask him to let me give him a bj! But I don't wanna make him do something he's uncomfortable with.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 10

  • He needs to get over this or you'll have to find a new guy. Your happiness is way too important to put up with a guy who won't satisfy you.

  • Absolutely fair to ask. I love to do it and have been with girls that didn't like/want it. opposite issue for me.

    In terms of your clit go with doggy/from behind and rub your clit to get off. I LOVE when a woman does whatever it takes to feel really good. I never take offense. Although next time I will try to learn and do the clit stimulation myself

    Good luck. Sounds like fun right now.

  • I'm so sorry.. In any case, just be direct and tell him exactly what you want and often times we as guys comply; you just have to keep it simple and bring us your concerns, otherwise we won't know.

  • I think you could ask for it after you finish making oral to him, and ask for it half frequently compared to how frequently you do to him. But personally for me it is very sexy when gf asks me for what she wants.

  • Sounds like an awful boyfriend to me. You'd have to beg me to stop going down on a girl. And I don't even care if you reciprocate or not.

    Sounds like he's totally selfish and doesn't have a clue about the female body and how to get her warmed up and get her going. My guess is he's super young and a douche bag. No offense.

    • I mean he's 23 with a child and in every other aspect of our relationship he's the most kind and giving person I've ever met! He'd do ANYTHING for me. That's why I feel weird asking cuz he's going to feel obligated to even if he doesn't like doing it. And I don't wanna force him to do something he's not into.

    • 23, single and with a child, is a bad sign to begin with. That's baggage I personally wouldn't wanna deal with but that's a whole other topic. Regarding the oral though. He's obviously experienced if he has a fucking kid, how does he not know how to get a woman going? My guess is he simply doesn't care. Personally, I care more about her pleasure than my own, that excites me more. The fact that you have to ask him is weird, you're right, you shouldn't have to! He should know, Duh! He may be kind to you in other ways, but sounds extremely selfish here. I would say, cut him off from oral if he won't do it to you, and if he asks why, tell him, "YOU FIRST!"

  • I think it is totally fair you go down on him so he should go down on you and he doesn't have to take breaks while he's down there. To suggest it in a sexy you could ask him to take something from the ground. Then when he bends down to get it you can walk in front of his face with a skirt or something and just awkwardly stand there. Maybe he'll get it.

    Just tell him the truth that you need it to be satisfied he should understand if he's really a good guy...

    • @update I think you just need to be a little more selfish. He may feel uncomfortable but it's stilll your orgasm and you need to feel it. Be nice of course but urge him to give you what you need. He'll learn to love doing it too I'm pretty sure, ask him why the experience was bad and steer away from what was bad about that

    • He has an issue with texture apparently..

  • Sit on his face

  • whats unfair in it? u can talk with him on the issue and even can demand if u have strong relationship

  • Ok he's really selfish. You need to tell him I would like to get my clit liked! As I do to you

  • Maybe he thinks you don't want it. You never know. You should just tell him, you have nothing to loose just make sure you're really clean down there. If your relationship is as good as you say it is you shouldn't be having trouble asking him but I can understand why you would feel weird. Just ask him

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