Guys, how important is her orgasm to you?

[Anonymous]

There seems to be a trend among women (I have also had this same experience) where the men that they are with (lovers, husbands, hookups, etc - I've heard it all) won't help them acheive orgasm, don't know how to make them orgasm, or simply don't care if they orgasm. I've had first hand experience with guys not caring if I have an orgasm and their excuses tend to be: it takes too long, they don't know how, it's normal for me not to (which isn't true), they lose interest, there's something from with me, etc. A lot of women I know as a result feel men are selfish and find sex less appealing because of it, but that can't apply to all men obviously. So, guys, how important is it to you for your girl to orgasm during sex? Even if it's a hookup, a girlfriend, your wife, etc?

[kheserthorpe]

Always try. TBH Part of maturing for me was to -try- to not care obsessively. I still try hard to make her orgasm every time, but aiming for perfect meant it always was not that good. So now I try to balance being obviously into it and passionate with trying to do what she needs to get off while not making it all about her, which she finds less hot (so do I tbh, as I tend towards being dominant).

It's really important to me that she find what we're doing hot and appropriately satisfying. Usually that means orgasms.

[Asker]

That's fair, she is also responsible for her own orgasm too so it shouldn't be ENTIRELY on you. It helps when a woman can tell you what works and what doesn't, issue is, most women don't.

[kheserthorpe]

My wife has very, very rarely said anything, and anything she's said pretty much has been the odd mechanical thing, never what arouses her when that matters too. My first serious gf never had an orgasm, never masturbated, couldn't tell me anything, etc. My next partner after her came in under 5 minutes, so apparently my technique had been okay. Most women (I'm sure most men too) assume that everyone likes what they like, so if you aren't doing what they like, you have 'bad' technique. But I know, for example, my wife likes things that apparently many women don't, physically.

[Asker]

Which is a good point. Women can cum differently than others and it all depends on what works for them.

[kheserthorpe]

I've never been with someone where 'takes too long' was an issue... my main relationships one came fast, the other not at all. Now the fast one, I can still be faster, lol, but it was never like it was her needing a lot more, i could usually hold out or arrange it to work. I can't understand people who never want to 'bother'. I can see how it becomes an issue if basically they can only have sex that gets her off on like a weekend because they don't have time during the week, but he's horny every day. Should he go jerk off every other day because they're both too tired to get her off? I don't know to be honest.

[AustinMan]

It's tantamount. If she doesn't cum, I haven't done my job as her lover. Now, there are those rare times when she just wants a real quickie and wants the contact and intimacy and in those cases, I make an exception.

I learned long, long ago that if I get a woman everything she needs and most of what she wants in bed, she'll do ANYTHING to reciprocate. Women are born pleasers. I don't exploit that but sexually, find it a wonderful trait.

[Jim_F]

Hervorgasm is as important as my own! At my age and experience help me to either know how or to be able to figure out how to help her reach a deep and satisfying orgasm. And if I'm lucky, time my own orgasm to coincide with hers. It's happened but not often.
But I do like to make sure she has one before I stop messing around with her body.

[genuinlysensitive]

As important as mine is lol! I know its hard every time especially if one of us is really stressed or tired, but I mean isn't that the point that we both share our bodies and experiences with each other :)

As for the lovers and hookups they most likely don't care about the woman at all so they don't care if she orgasms. I am greatly surprised that a woman would actually marry a man who refuses or can't make her orgasm... Especially when there are so many of us out here who can and will ;)

[5k1nny]

I've never had sex before but her orgasm would be extremely important to me, her being satisfied would be the reason I'd want to have sex in the first place.

[bryon]

It's very important to me. I strive to hold back until she reaches that point , so we can loose it together

[TadCurious]

Trying to do whatever I can to get the girl off is very important to me. I want to give a girl an orgasm before we even start penetrative sex.

[Asker]

Good man, good man...

[TadCurious]

Foreplay is half the fun of sex. Maybe more.

[AidenBlue]

It is my number one priority. Her getting off turns me on more than anything else. I've had sex where she wasn't in the mood and was just pleasing me 'go ahead don't worry about me' and I didn't like it. I prefer a girl that will get off 1-3 times hard before I get off and we finish together on the last one. That's perfect sex to me.

I love to find what buttons work best on her and really focus on them with some well placed dirty talk. I love to describe how hot she gets me, how I love parts of her body, and other intimate sexual thoughts to get her really worked up.

[BetterWildAdventures]

It is my mission to have her achieve orgasm!!! The physical stimulation is very different in what brings a guy to orgasm versus what brings a girl to orgasm. The motions that bring a girl to orgasm are not always initially sensational for a guy so a selfish guy will “do his own thing”. Too bad for him! When a girl orgasms I feel a huge sense of having met her needs and to me that feels amazing.

[muspelhem_5]

I don't mind. It's not like she can't orgasm with some other guy.

[Dandeus]

Pretty important. I care that she gets off and a woman's orgasm is intensely exciting, but you can't get your ego wrapped up in it either.

[JSmuve]

Meh. I'm sure if I liked a girl enough I'd make sure she came but if it's just a one time hookup then I don't really care.

[Asker]

I can't really argue with that since, in a one time hookup situation, it isn't something serious and you should kind of expect it's a, for lack of a better term "selfish experience."