If a guy just wants to be friends with benefits, is he just using you?

I met this guy and I really liked him and we went on a date. so I thought he wanted to take it further like as in boyfriend and girlfriend but come to find out he just wants to be "friends with benefits" is this just a way of him using me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just how soon did you give it away anyway? If you give it away so fast in the beginning of a relationship, the chances of a guy seeing you as relationship material dwindles.

    If he just wants to be friends with benefits, and you want something more.. Then yes, he is using you for sex.


What Guys Said 6

  • No, it's a way of telling you what he wants. If that's not what you want, you're free to decline.

    • But sometimes guys lead you on without actually telling you what they really want ....

    • That is so true. Guys do lead girls on like that.

    • Too true. But these aren't FWBs, but liars. Dump these, and run fast.

  • Without a question of a doubt... YES! Because he has no desire to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you, at least, not yet. Also, this kinda lets him be available for other girls too.

  • No, it's a way for you two to use each other.

  • "Friends with benefits", I had always assume both parties where using each other...

  • It is a way for the both of you to get experience, and pleasure of course. But then again, if he is asking for stuff ALL the time, that might be a different story. But other than that, he just wants to have fun with you.


What Girls Said 5

  • Pretty much. He'll be using you and you'll be using him. And sooner or later one of you will develop feelings for the other that are beyond being friends with benefits and everything will get all weird.

  • Yeah... technically yes... if you decide to accept then is both of you using each other... Did he ask you directly to be just FWB? or insinuated it? Make sure you are ok with that kind of relationship before you say yes because if one of you develop more feelings then things could get complicated and eventually weird...

    • Well about a week after our date he texted me that he didn't want to be in a relationship but we could still "hang out"

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    • Ya I get so confused sometimes because if your taking me on a date and wanting to get to know me then why bother wasting time if you just want to be friends with benefits.... I mean I assume if you take a girl on a date you want to further things but some guys will do anything to get some these days (not all guys and girls do it to)

    • Yeah they take you on a date to see how interested you are in him and then... he will throw the bomb at you... I have never had a guy tell me straight up that he doesn't want a relationship.... they just lead me on... of course most of the time I can tell they just want something sexual with me but I have yet to encounter someone who would give me that line that they don't want a relationship at the moment or they are hurt from previous relationship blah blah blah... be careful with those!

  • i think its only counts as using you if he didn't say anything and made you thing different. be happy that he flat out came and said what he wants. there is no guessing for you. you know what it is he wants and only you know if you want to go along with it. just be prepared to get hurt ...im guessing if that he does hurt you he probabaly won't feel that bad cause he will say well I told you that's all I want. but girl if that's what you want to there is nothing wrong with it. but if a guy says he doesn't want a relationship than plain and simple he doesn't want one. thank god he was up front about it. I myself am learning this too except my guy well the guy I thought was my guy didn't tell me and lead me on till it was to late. but girl if that's what you want to than go for it... I hope I helped! good luck!

  • Pretty much, yeah. You should only go for that if that's what you want too. If you're looking for something more you should find it somewhere else.

  • FWB means by definition that he wants to use you sexually without actually having a relationship with you. It's consensual using, but yes, it is using you.