Boyfriend invited me over to his place for me to get to know it and for some alone time?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend have been going out seriously for about 2, 3 months. We really haven't spent much time alone though, always going out somewhere public. Hard to find some good spots to kiss, you know, haha. This guy is always very respectful and gentle and I think he really likes me as well. Once he touched my breast but I must have looked a bit surprised because he stopped and said he wouldn't do it anymore if I didn't want to. I've never felt any erections through pants like what I hear from other girls, so I don't know if he's that excited, but again it's not like we're in a private setting. Anyway, he invited me over to his place this weekend, saying we could spend a bit more time together that way because he could drive me home later or maybe I could spend the night if I wanted to. Apparently he has been busy preparing and asked me to let him know if I'll stay so he can make the other bed. Because of the breat incident and all, I guess he finds me attractive and is just being attentive, right Is this is way of saying he won't pressure me into anything or he doesn't want to It sounds like a dumb question even to myself, but I would like to hear someone else's experiences or opinions. Thanks.

[fabulouslyme]

Forgive me but are you really between the age of 30-35? If so I am surprised that after "seriously dating for 2-3 months" (a man you consider your boyfriend) that you haven't already slept together. And unless for religious purposes (or otherwise) you have a problem with him touching your breast, I wouldn't worry as he didn't take it further and so far appears to be respectful in taking things slow. I'll admit if I were in your shoes and this was someone I really liked... I'd have to insist by now that he do a lot more than just touch my breast! As well as count on me spending the night... unless he would want to bring in another bed just to have me do so. Yet, I think he's just being a very respectful guy who wants to make sure you feel comfortable and not like he expects anything from you. So thoughtful and considerate of him! So if you want to, go with him as you both may have a wonderful time. And don't worry about what 'may' happen - just be yourself and if its something you want to happen then it will naturally when both of you are ready.

[Asker]

Well, my age is correct. I've spent my whole life running away from relationships because most guys I met weren't really worth it and I wanted to do my own thing. Although I ended up inexperienced at this age, I don't want to regret taking things too fast when I'm really just enjoying myself and my time with him so far, for maybe the first time...

[bomba78]

bowchickabowwbowwww lol

he wants to get into your pants. He is "preparing" the other bed so you don't feel pressured into anything.
Go have fun, have some awesome sexytime and have breakfast together.
Don't forget to take condoms with you.

Sounds like a quality guy to me

[Asker]

Haha, if anything I think you're a fun person =D I think I'll leave the condoms to him since he knows his own size and all... and I don't know if I wanna go all the way or if it is a good day cycle wise either... I think he's a quality guy too, but what makes you say so?

[bomba78]

I think he's a good guy because he seems very respectful and doesn't seem to be going only as fast as you feel right. When you're at his place and things start to heat up just be straight forward about not being sure if you want to go all the way. As for the rest, just do as much or little that feels right for you and don't feel bad if you want to pull the brakes :-) Just have fun and enjoy him ;-)

[bomba78]

Oh typo: he is going only as fast as you want to, is what I meant to say

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

He sounds like a real nice guy, giving you plenty of options if things feel uncomfortable. Don't let his niceness persuade you into doing things you're not ready for though. If he really is such I nice guy he won't mind waiting. Which it seems he doesn't.

[Asker]

Thank you. Everyone seems so carefree when it comes to sex; it's not like I don't feel attracted to him, but not sure if it's the right moment yet. Maybe I want to enjoy him and us like this a bit more, if that makes sense.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

You know what, why don't you tell him you would like to stay over. Tell him you aren't there yet with regards to sharing a bed but spending the night and waking up and having breakfast together would be wonderful. It sounds to me like he is willing to wait and take the time to make sure you are comfortable. He sound like a nice guy just make sure you are clear with your intentions and what you are happy with, the last thing you want to do is be ambiguous and confuse the poor guy because he will most likely be upset that he read it wrong. Take your time. I'm sure he is worth the wait.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Thanks for the mho. Hope things go well for you.

[Asker]

You're welcome. And thanks. We did have that talk; he said that sex wasn't really the reason why he had invited me over and didn't want me to think that. He just wants to spend more time together. It does feel a bit strange to just spend the night, but since he's my boyfriend, why not, right? If I don't trust him at this point then no point in dating.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I am so pleased to hear that. This is your relationship and you both so what feels right and comfortable to you, doesn't matter what others think is normal or odd. I'm really happy for you and he sounds like a really nice guy. Best of luck!

[Red_Arrow]

It could be a lot of things, but it is obvious that he wants to be with you in private and he is talking about spending the night. Saying he will make the other bed is just making it sound okay, because the other bed is most likely already made. But he may be hoping it won't get used even though you spend the night.

[Asker]

"The other bed is most likely already made" It sounds funny when you put it like that, haha.

[Red_Arrow]

I hope you know I meant it makes no sense to leave a bed unmade. Any guest bed is usually made up with clean linen after a guest leaves and is ready for the next.

[Asker]

Oh. When I lived at home we never actually made up the bed with clean linen because guests usually didn't come unannounced and were few and far between. The bed just looked like it was made up with the covers and pillows. He mentioned that he has been cleaning the house and all so I figured he did the same since he lives on his own as well. But thanks for explaining. You learn something everyday =)

[Red_Arrow]

:-) ...

[AustinMan]

Are you prepared to have sex with him if he makes a move? That'll affect my suggestions.

[Asker]

I think even he doesn't expect us to go all the way, but there's a reason I asked this question... If I minded some moves I wouldn't go to his house or guess I wouldn't be dating him at all, but I'm not sure I wanna go all the way the very first time we're alone together. Besides it'd be my first time...

[AustinMan]

I'm presuming you've made out before so you have some idea what to expect. While very few ladies do it, the mature thing to do is to just tell him in a clam, direct, matter of fact way what your boundaries are. Not ready for sex, will be first time, but am willing to play pretty intense kissy face, squeezy boobs. Is that close?

[Asker]

He can probably touch to some extent, but I won't hand him some written rules and snap at him when he doesn't comply... because I'm not sure what those rules are myself and that's exactly the problem. I haven't done much more than kissing, to be honest. Even hugging like he does or the way he rests his hand on my knee or thigh when going to the cinema for instance, I never let any other guy do that^^;;

[AustinMan]

I didn't see you writing anything down but it helps if you were to have some idea. Since you don't, just go with your gut and have a good time. He doesn't strike me as what we used to call a masher. I hope you both enjoy the time together.

[sailorjupiter]

yeah, he definitely want to make out with you, he was just too shy to do it in public

[AnnVdB]

well if he is your boyfriend then ofcourse he finds you attractive :D
He probably wants to be sexual with you, which I think is normal.

I met my boyfriend online, and had an online relationship before we met. But when we did meet we were pretty much sexual from day one ( And we both are unexperienced XD). It just felt completely natural, not something to overthink about.

[Asker]

I know, right? But sometimes it feels some people just wanna have someone for the title and perks and not really the person... Wow, even both being inexperienced That's great, I'm happy for you!

[wolfe88061]

He wants to have sex but won't do anything till you do he is afraid of driving you a way to he is making an opurtunity and hoping you will do something you see what I mean?

[Asker]

He's afraid he'll do something that scares me away? So he hopes I make any sort of move if I go to his house?

[wolfe88061]

I think so he hopes you will make a mive. But I also think he would not push you in any way so if you don't want to do anything but chill go I don't think he will push you but also remember a guy has needs and it really is not fair to make him wait to much longer 3 months is a long time for nothing at all maybe you can let him know that you don't want sex but you guys can do some other stuff for play or what ever you are comfortable with.

[Asker]

Think he has been single for a while before we started dating. To be honest, I'm inexperienced myself so I've no idea what's a long time to be deprived of something physical. He does hug me and touch me a lot and that behavior has been escalating lately... It's funny to think he likes touching me and finds me attractive - maybe I'm still getting used to that. Anyway, you're probably right, communication and honesty is always the best policy.

[wolfe88061]

Yep yep for sure I don't mean to be blunt with you I am sorry I am a very open person that thinks sex is jut a plain and wonderfak thing I don't get why people think it such a big deal to me it is no Kore a big deal then kissing.

[Asker]

Well, but I guess kissing is also a big deal for people who have never done it before, right? Maybe it's a matter of experience and being comfortable in your own skin? And it's easier when you start young! Hopefully it will also feel natural and wonderful when/ if I finally do it =) It depends on the other person as well. And you don't have to apologize, I appreciate your honesty and opinion.

[wolfe88061]

That's true lol. Well I hope it starts on a wonderful sex adventure because it can be the best and most fun thing ever lol

[Asker]

It sure sounds quite intimate, lol. Thanks again!