Should you avoid sexually inexperienced guys?

[Anonymous]

I have been in relationships with 2 inexperienced guys. The first guy had never had sex before and had only ONE girlfriend before me. Long story short, he was the sweetest guy ever, but once I pumped up his ego a bit (over 10 a month span) he started treating me badly, deliberately inflicting emotional pain and eventually found girls on the side whom he was having sex with. The second guy, had one girlfriend before me, never had sex. Our relationship lasted a few years but now he is treating me exactly how the other guy has except for the blatant cheating. (who knows if he is). My question is, am I right? Are inexperienced guys to be avoided if you are looking for a serious thing? I'll note that I have dated experienced guys, none of them acted this way. I do know that some experienced guys do act like that, but none I've dated.

[Bandit74]

Cheating and being emotionally abusive aren't traits exclusive to inexperienced guys. You could just as easily date an experienced guy who behaves like that.

However...

"It's the fact that it looks like guys who have no experience dating or having sex are prone to want MORE experience under their belt that does NOT include the girl they first experienced it"

I agree with this to a certain extent. Personally im a virgin and Id feel bad if my first girl had experience before me, I wouldn't want her to be my first AND ONLY if I'm not also her ONLY or at least close to it. Like i already feel left out that im so behind but if i was with a girl who was inexperienced like me, id feel more normal and less like I've missed out. That's not to say that I support cheating or being emotionally abusive because I don't. I just think it might be better for inexperienced guys to either try to settle down with a girl who is equally as inexperienced OR for them to sleep around a bit to catch up to the rest of their dating pool, and then look to settle down after they've gotten it out of their system and caught up.

[Asker]

I would like to point out that I did not have sex with the first guy. I had sex with the second and he hasn't cheated to my knowledge but he treats me as though he's waiting for me to leave so he can be with someone else. I just find that to be a serious pattern with guys like that.. From other women and myself.

[Asker]

I was a virgin, just so you know.

[Bandit74]

I don't know, I think it's just a coincidence :/ Like for me, I either want to settle down with an inexperienced girl... Or I'm going try to find some experienced girls to be friends with benefits with then settle down later. Im still cinflicted on this tho. Howevdr I wouldn't cheat or play stupid games where I lead someone on then try to get them to break up with me. That's just fucked up also too much drama for my liking :/ I don't think what you're experiencing is exclusive to inexperienced guys... The only thing I can think of is maybe they've been rejected a lot and have become bitter. But otherwise I think experienced guys can be assholes too. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking someone's sexual history into consideration when deciding whether or not to date them but it shouldn't be the only thing you consider.

[Asker]

Yea, thats exactly what my boyfriend said when we were friends. I also realized that guys don't even know what they want half the time. They say they feel and want all of these things and then change their mind later. My point isn't that I judge by sexual experience. But you just said that you do :/ . But thank you :]

[ScruffyNerfHerder]

It probably has more to do with your age group and the maturity level of the guy you are with, as opposed to the amount of sex he may or may not have had.

However, I can see where you are coming from, as I've experienced a similar phenomenon with ex-girlfriends, and it may have something to do with it. Probably they're curious to see if there is a better potential experience out there (haha, too bad for them there isn't ;) )

[Asker]

Pretty much the only guy who got the memo lol

[macadelic]

I think that it's more that the sexually inexperienced guys were just actually assholes from the get go and were hiding their true colors. I think though as they had done nothing in the past you gave them experience and self confidence they needed which they used towards getting with other girls or just becoming too cocky

[pooper89]

I wouldn't correlate the two variables. But those guys are definitely dicks who didn't respect you atall. It's just their personality. Key their cars and slash their tires

[Anonymous]

You've had a few bad experiences , you'll probably have more..* :) but don't give up. There are decent guys xxx

[Vinnithexplorer]

I'm not sure that these issues have anything to do with a male being sexually inexperienced, more just immature sexual behaviour. It sounds to me as if you've been able to make these guys feel comfortable around you, but my sense is they don't seem to have an awareness for or respect of your boundaries as a young woman. You may want to be a bit more assertive about stating your limits on what kind of behaviour you will tolerate and be willing to back them up by ending relationships that are not respectful.

[aficionado]

The way men treat women, has got nothing to do with their experience or lack of it. It was just a coincidence that you were in a relationship with 2 assholes who were inexperienced.

[skeptic007]

agreed

[Metlahead]

Yes, for the same reasons you should avoid sexually inexperienced girls.

[Klaatu51]

not at all... otherwise how they'll gain xperience? :D

but if u don't like em... that's fine with me :D

[zorro8888]

If you think sexual experience or lack thereof, is the actual problem in your relationship then you'll be running into a lot more of these guys.

[Asker]

You missed my point. That wasn't it.

[zorro8888]

You're the one who doesn't get the point. Their sexual activity had nothing to do with it. Correlation does not equate to causation. Or have you never heard of that either?

[Asker]

You're quite disrespectful. You really do not get the point. The fact that you resort to disrespect and belittling when you are corrected shows that you don't really care to get the point, you care to be right.

[zorro8888]

Then ask for me to elaborate. I'm saying you picked the wrong guys, if they cheated it was in their nature to begin with. For you to say that basically all inexperienced guys will treat you this way is immature. There's been a factor that drove your partners to act this way, if you want to ignore it then fine by me.

[Toad-1]

'You're quite disrespectful' disrespectful just for disagreeing with you right? @asker

[bloodmountain1990]

I don't think there's any correlation between the two and it's more of a coincidence that you're reading into a bit much. The dudes are assholes. I've met guys that are assholes like you describes that have a ton of experience.

That's like when people accuse virgin males and even females of being clingy. I was a virgin until I was 21 and the girl I lost it to had her roommate ask if I wanted a relationship and I was like um I just met her.

[DaveyBaby107]

Some people are assholes. Some aren't. I wasn't experienced when I got my first girlfriend and I never disrespected her. Experience has nothing to do with respect.

[No_Drama_]

Inexperienced and immature guys are no fun.

[Toad-1]

You only been with 2 guys, that's it. Just two out of millions of others who are inexperienced too. That's a very gross generalization.

[Asker]

You didn't read what I said. That's very unfortunate.

[Toad-1]

Ummmm I did read. You're still generalizing.

[This_guy_here]

You just happened to choose two douchebags that decided once they were no luck nger virgins they were Tio good to be true.

[hypno-trip]

Those two guys are strange I don't know why they would turn into such douchebags on you...

[hypno-trip]

@update being sexually inexperienced in itself does not make them a good guy. I guess you need to focus on whether they're a good guy or not and not just whether they're inexperienced...

[Lucyjackson7567]

I'll give him a chance.

[tenofthepeaks]

no, you can teach them.

[Anonymous]

Since you just generalized about sexually inexperienced guys, you must also be racist who generalizes people of different races by their action. I bet they treated you badly because of this shitty nature of yours.

[Anonymous]

i would overlook that about him

[Anonymous]

Maturity level, emotional maturity, may be more the problem here.

[Anonymous]

Well were they nice guys or "nice guys"

What was genuine and what was transparent about them

If you didn't know much about them then they were playing you from the start and you were just swooned and distracted? I don't know enough abou these guys to give you a definitive answer. What about these 2 different former partners of yours is similar? How old were they? How mature were they for their age? Inexperienced doesn't always mean the person is horrible at everything. How inexperienced were they? There are more questions you need to ask yourself that will answer your question.

[Anonymous]

i was a virgin before my girlfriend and i would never in a million years treat her bad or cheat on her so please dont judge all sexually ineperienced guys

[Anonymous]

Then they won't be able to gain experience...

[Anonymous]

What? lol A guys level of sexual experience has nothing to do with how they will treat you. What do you want? A guy with STD's who's been with 50 women?