PLEASE HELP!!! I think my cousin just heard me masturbatig and moaning a guys name. How do I play it off?

[Anonymous]

HELP! I've never been so humiliated. How do I play it off like he didn't really hear what he thinks he heard... if he even did hear it. I THINK IM GOING TO DIE. I pre planned and locked the door so I don't know how he got in. I guess I didn't close the door all the way. Anyway, I had my had down my pants and was moaning a guys name saying "I'm going to cum" and I hear a noise inside the house... didn't think anything of it since I thought I locked the door. Next thing I know he's walking past my open bedroom door... fuck, I don't know what to do. I'm a good two shoes and he's a loud mouth and very blunt. I'm worried he will tell my family or his friends or his girlfriend and not knowing if he heard is driving me crazy! What should I do?

[Michael-in-SC]

I wouldn't waste time worrying about it. You can't control what he'll say, if he even does say anything. He came into your home, not the other way around. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You wouldn't believe some of the people who caught me masturbating or having sex. Or the people I caught masturbating or having sex. It's a very temporary embarrassment which quickly fades.

[JohnBelluci]

1) This is so f*cking funny lolz

2) I wrote a long message to reply to you, but then I saw that you mentionned you are from a religious family... sorry, you're screwed lol. I got no solution hahahaha

[Asker]

Thanks 😑 Actually in really do appreciate that you tried to write a long message. But yes, I know, I'm screwed. Fml.

[JohnBelluci]

If I had caught you masturbating I would have joked about it with you and then I would have forgot about it because it's no big deal... It's natural. I think it would have allowed to become closer to you actually. True story coming: I got caught checking websites about "how to increase your penis size" (My dick's fine lol, it was curiosity) by friends who randomly came by my house including girls. Fortunately I was on the phone when I saw them checking my computer screen, and looked at me in a funny/weird way. I was having so much laugh with my friend over the phone that I totally didn't care about them making assumptions about my dick and I said to my friend over the phone "HAHAHAHAH hey these guys saw these wesbites about penis enhancement on my screen so now they think I have a small one LOL" ... and honestly, that energy I had from laughing just dismantled ANY chance of shaming me.

[Asker]

Yeah, closer in a way I didn't want to be closer to him. I don't want to bond with my cousin over masturbation!!! 😫 At least they didn't see you touching your "tiny" dick!!! I'll admit that's bad though. I would have been so embarrassed. But at least you handled it well. And you had a chance to face them directly. I still don't actually know if he heard or saw anything. I'm only torturing myself with what he probably heard/saw.

[JohnBelluci]

Why don't you go face your demons right now? :) Stop writing here, go in his room and ask him. :D Cmon, once it's over it's over. I'll be supporting you spiritually from the internet :D

[Asker]

Nooooooo are you crazy? I'm going to avoid talking about this at ALL COSTS!!! especially if he didn't actually hear anything!

[JohnBelluci]

just go and ask him "hey did you hear anything weird at xxx time?" If he did, you will see it on his face... YOU WILL. (then it's up to you how you want to deal with it with him) If he didn't, then just say "oh ok" ... and then if he asks "why?" then just reply "don't worry about it" DONE :)

[Asker]

Nope. No. Bad idea. Sorry, not gonna happen. I'm not opening a can of worms. No thank you.

[JohnBelluci]

while you argue with me he may be texting his entire social circle about your moanings... hahahahhaha I'm kidding sorry cutie I can't help it this shit is hilarious. Nah but seriously you only have 2 options. Keep getting tortured mentally by the doubt, or clear shit up. cmoooon... camaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. :)

[Asker]

Oh my goshhhhhhhhhh nooooooooo! Don't say that! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT? 😫 Now that's all I'm going to be thinking about. Noooo I'm still not saying anything though. Not happening. That will only make things worse! It's like you want me to humiliate myself! 😭 You're a bully.

[JohnBelluci]

I don't want you to humiliate yourself, I want you stop worrying to death and get eaten from inside by the doubt. The funny thing is that you're probably so mortified because of the religious context. Because honestly none of my friends or myself would think that hearing you masturbating is worth of such a big story. It would be one small funny fact amongst others in a conversation, and then we would move on to the next topic. No big deal. Natural. In fact it's only as big as you make it. If your cousin is like OMG MY COUSIN WAS MOANING AND MASTURBATING ROFL LOL LOL LOL... then I would be like "yeah ok... so? Did you just arrived on planet earth? "

[Asker]

Yeah, I guess that's a big part of it. But see, he wouldn't be telling his friends as if it was humorous... it would be more like something shocking and forbidden... Especially for me. No one would even think to guess that I do this or would ever even think about it Luckily by the way he was interacting with everyone I don't think he heard anything. I think the fan was loud enough so I think it gives him enough reasonable doubt. Hopefully I'm right.

[JohnBelluci]

Good news then. You naughty bitch ;)

[Asker]

Why are you calling me that? 😳 I thought you said it was normal 😜

[JohnBelluci]

maybe I think not being naughty is abnormal. Who doesn't like a naughty girl huh :)

[Asker]

I don't think all guys like naughty girls...

[JohnBelluci]

I disagree but it's best if you create another topic if you want me to answer that. it would be a long answer and off topic

[Asker]

It's okay, there are no rules. Just to off topic :)

[JohnBelluci]

I think they ALL DO. Naughty doesn't mean slutty. We're all sexual creatures but we have to keep it to our intimacy because of rules in society (which are justified). Just like the expression "a hand of steel in a velvet glove" , the ideal woman is the one that acts like a prude with other men, but goes wild within the intimacy of her bedroom with her husband. Societal restrictions are irrelevant within the context of your sexual intimacy. There are no limits because it's consensual. That is the absolute best. If a guy tries to act like he is "pure" and just wants regular old fashioned missionary style sex... he is one deceiving little bastard. This is a guy telling you this, because there is no shame in it. Why would I lie? On the other hand there are plenty of reasons for immature guys to think it's best to pretend not liking anything remotely naughty (because they fear being seen as perverts... which is retarded but people are biased and judgmental more often than not)

[Asker]

But this is coming from you.. a guy who is... not religious. So I'm sorry but it's hard for you to speak for all men. Not that I'm saying you are wrong but you have just one perspective.

[JohnBelluci]

Being religious has nothing to do with instinct. Your hormones command your feelings. A guy with a functional hormonal system (thus full of testosterone) will have the same thoughts about you, if he likes you, then I would if i liked you. He may not tell you how much he wants to pound you, because he is afraid of being judged, but he DOES have these thoughts. He can't help it. Religion is something that is taught (it's external). Instincts will always prevail. You can try to teach a gay guy that liking men is wrong, but he will still like men forever.

[Asker]

What exactly does naughty mean to you then? Because some people do enjoy just making love with respect instead of being naughty during sex. Not every guy wants a "naughty" girl.

[JohnBelluci]

lol this is interesting how we are so far apart culturally and how you judge harshly things. You just said that having "naughty" sex is opposed to "making love with respect"... The word respect is not even relevant here. It doesn't exist. There is no such thing as "disrespectful sex" because sex, by definition is consensual (meaning you both want it). How can a man be disrespectful to you (or you, to him) if it is consensual? It's only disrespectful if you act naughty OUTSIDE your intimacy (that means with other people). Like I said, I am guy, I know lots of other guys, we all know how we are, and sexual desire is independent from religion. Which means I am no different inherently than a Christian man. I am only different socially. The dirty thoughts I have about females in my brain, he has them as well. 100% sure. But as a Christian man, he will socially act differently and hide at ALL COSTS revealing this to you or anyone else because of fear. Which I understand.

[Asker]

Hahaha whoa, wait. Please tell me you did not just say that sex = consensual sex. You are joking right? Consensual sex = consensual sex. Sex in and of itself is an act. It can be both consensual or non consensual. Anyways, yes, you can have disrespectful sex... I'm talking about things like roleplay where you "play" and disrespect each other through name calling and saying dirt things and such and so on. A religious man doesn't hide his sexual feelings because of the jugement of man but of the judgement of God. And they are not only hidden but replaced with worthy thoughts. Of course it is natural to be attracted to others. We're supposed to feel this way so we can reproduce. But that doesn't mean that a guy wants you to be naughty in bed. Everyone has their preferences.

[JohnBelluci]

sex is consensual. if it isn't it's called rape. now "roleplay" like its name is a play. It's an act. It's pretending to be disrespectful but it's not genuinely disrespectful since you pretend. Whether the guy hides his thoughts because he fears society or god is irrelevant since the point is that he is hiding them. And naughty (maybe I should have explained better) is not just in bed, it is a behavior, with which you are sexually responsive. I didn't say all guys like BDSM lol :)

[Asker]

Exactly. Yup, I agree. But isn't everyone sexually responsive with just different levels of responsiveness?

[JohnBelluci]

"But isn't everyone sexually responsive with just different levels of responsiveness? " That's right. And for those different levels of responsiveness, we would use different adjectives. The less responsive would be called "prude" or "frigid" (even though it isn't the litteral meaning) and the most responsive would be called "naughty" and I believe guys would prefer a female to be on the "most responsive" side, rather than on the "least responsive" one :)

[Asker]

I guess that would make me very naughty then 😝

[Anonymous]

Ohh that's awkward, I can imagine how mortified you are
He probably feels too awkward to say anything
If he does then he'll come across like a pervert
Or you can just lie and say he's making it up if he does
Wait a few days and I'm sure it will just blow over

[Asker]

Thank you! Yes, I'm mortified... more like terrified actually. I'm still in shock that I actually got caught... if I did. I'm still unsure if he actually heard anything which makes it worse. Yeah, I'm hoping it will sort of blow over and be forgotten. Thanks! I really hope he can forget about it. Luckily he will be staying a friends house for the next few days. That gives the perfect opportunity for this to blow over.

[Bigclit]

nothing to be embarrassed about almost everyone masturbates... if he doesn't bring it up don't say anything if he does just say and..
That should be the end of that

[muspelhem_5]

Stand by the fact that you masturbated and enjoyed it and moaned some guy's name (if it comes up). Why should you have to hide that?

[Asker]

I have to hide it because my family is very religious and I'm "the good one" and I like having a clean reputation!!! I don't want him to spread rumors about me 😭

[Asker]

I work hard to have a clean name and now all because I didn't properly lock a door I'm afraid all is lost 😖 damn it. I just ruined my life.

[Asker]

Now he's probably going to spill to his girlfriend and he'll never look at me the same

[muspelhem_5]

You do know that there are people out there who would not think less of you in any way for doing what you did, don't you?

[Asker]

Even if he didn't think less of me, it's still humiliating 😔

[therussianconcussion]

you're acting like your religious family doesn't know people masturbate lol. seriously give em some credit lol. masturbating still makes you the good kid cause you're not doing the guy lol

[Asker]

True, I have kept myself from having actual sex. But still... my cousin is probably in shock still as I am.

[muspelhem_5]

I think you guys could benefit from viewing sex in a less moralist way... That doesn't mean you have to be reckless sexual deviants (unless you want to), it just frees you to figure out what makes you happy rather than relying on ancient dogma and other people's opinions.

[Asker]

I would want to actually... but I know there would be bad consequences for me.

[muspelhem_5]

You would want to be a reckless sexual deviant lol?

[Asker]

Uh... yes. If I'm being honest :P

[muspelhem_5]

Hahaha, cool. Well my advice would be to leave out the "reckless" bit and just explore it at your own pace. Protect yourself, both physically and emotionally. I'm just reading a book on sex addiction, and the basic idea is that you want to control the sex, rather than it controlling you. It doesn't mean you can't have adventures, but just respect your own boundaries and don't let the sex harm you more than it helps you.

[Asker]

Well I wouldn't even know where to begin with it. Obviously I'm a virgin. I think it would be best for me to just stay out of trouble. I think I would go to crazy if I finally allowed myself the pleasures of sex. Also, I think the guilt would kill me. I can't handle the guilt. I'm not really in a stable place so... yeah, this all sounds bad to me even though in another life I would love it.

[muspelhem_5]

How would you feel guilty?

[Asker]

because after all I've been taught my whole life and to just throw it away and shake my whole family and church I would feel guilty.

[muspelhem_5]

Okay, so imagine this was a sister or a friend, who came to you with these feelings, how would you advise them?

[Asker]

I'd tell them that it's natural. But we are taught to rid ourselves of our natural man. I would tell her repent and be happy.

[muspelhem_5]

Okay :) I just know that for me, I had to explore it.

[Asker]

And did you find what you were looking for? Did you find happiness?

[muspelhem_5]

:) Actually only recently started exploring it, because I had a lot of shame. I'm still searching, but I didn't find happiness by pretending those feelings weren't there. For me, it's a balance. I'm a sex addict, but I like sex, and I want to explore it. So...

[Asker]

So are you happier now?

[muspelhem_5]

No. I was younger back then, and life has taken a toll. But I feel stronger. I feel like I am learning stuff about life and myself instead of frantically flailing my arms. It also just makes life more exciting. I'm going on adventures instead of staying at home. The older I get, the more I realise how ridiculously short life really is. If you don't make it your own and enjoy it while it lasts, it'll simply pass you by, no mercy.

[I_am_repulsive]

Who cares.. it's just masturbating.. this cousin of yours probably does the same thing

[Asker]

It's still humiliating.

[I_am_repulsive]

But you'll get over it. Just don't let your cousin blackmail you in any way.

[Asker]

He wouldn't. But he would tell someone about it.

[Tarvold]

Find dirt on him and blackmail.

[Asker]

No, he's family. Besides even if he wasn't I would never do that.

[Tarvold]

Well... good thing he's a guy then, because he's guaranteed to have jerked off within the last couple of days. If he brings it up, just straight up throw it back at him and say "like you don't jerk off three times a week."

[Asker]

Yeah... I know he does. But still, he never would have thought his good little girl cousin does it too. I just feel dirty and ashamed :( I don't want him to act weird around me now... I really hope he didn't hear anything. I don't think I was THAT loud and there was a fan going... do you think he heard anything? I'm so paranoid now!!!

[Tarvold]

Even if he saw something he's probably just as embarrassed as you are.

[Asker]

True. I'm just worried he's going to te someone... or worse, ask me about it later and I'm a terrible liar! Especially if I feel guilty! I can't lie!!!

[Tarvold]

Don't worry too much. Chances are, he's not going to tell people. What's he going to say? "Oh, so I was perving on my kid cousin?" No, that's going to put him in a whole new level of creep. If he does say something to you about it, then just remind him of what a creep he'd be if other people heard about it.

[Asker]

It's easy, he'll be bothered about what he heard/saw and be like "dang, so I walked into our house and I think I heard my cousin masturbating... I was so surprised. I did it say anything." That's how he would say it :( dang. I should have made certain the door was actually locked. I'm so stupid.

[hypno-trip]

I've been caught masturbating by my eigth grade teacher I'm sure yours can't be worse...

[Asker]

You're kidding 😵 That's terrible... but no offense I think mine is worse. She was your teacher, probably still is a teacher. She'll have tons and tons of students year after year and forget about the incident or at least forget about you. You don't have to see her ever again. This is my family.

[hypno-trip]

I guess that's true but I mean everyone does it so I think your family should just shrug it off. Your cousin should be considerate and just know it was your private time and not talk about it... I mean hopefully he will be nice like that. Oh well sorry this happened.

[Asker]

But he's not like that. He's inconsiderate and although generally nice, he blirts things out. I'm screwed. Thanks for your concern though.

[Powell-Peralta78]

Nothing, every girl masturbates. If he says anything to anyone about it it will make him look bad, not you.

[Asker]

Thanks. I guess that's true about him. But not every does. I'm just so humiliated. No one should have to walk in on a family member doing that 😣 I hate myself. Fuck.

[Anonymous]

Lol just tell him you knew he was there and done the masturbating
and moaning just to see what he would do really he has no proof