Sexual Relationships
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How to tell my boyfriend that I hate fingering?

So me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about a month, and I noticed right away that anytime he's doing any kind of work on my down below, he has this urge to just jam his fingers in me. I don't know if other girls are the same, but I don't feel any pleasure from fingering, and it can actually be uncomfortable. I told him before it was uncomfortable, but he just tells me that it's because I'm "being tense." He seems to be really into it but I hate it, it ruins my orgasm every time. How can I tell my boyfriend that I hate it when he fingers me without totally upsetting him? I faked a few orgasms in the beginning cause I felt bad so I feel it'll really upset him. Also, are there other girls out there who hate fingering? Why or why not?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I have the same thing with oral sex. It's not his technique or enjoyment that bothers me, it just doesn't feel pleasurable to me either. I'd suggest you just tell him; it's not fair towards your boyfriend to have him think he's pleasuring you while your just laying there wishing he'd stop ;p. Say you appreciate that he wants you to feel good, but you'd enjoy sex even more if he jut didn't finger you. I'd be happy with the feedback and i don't see why he would offended by it. Maybe you could suggest he does some other thing instead, like touch your breasts/clitoris etc.

  • He doesn't know what he's doing, tell him to control his urge, and that it hurts you when he Rams it in there. He's supposed to stimulate you enough where you are wet, and lubricated. Then he can slowly put his fingers and work his way. He can't just shove his fingers and start going.., I don't know why guys do this. It doesn't feel good, just awakard.

    • I know, it freaking sucks. Like jesus stop trying to break my pelvis.

  • Talk to him about different orgasms, say your orgasms are more intense when playing with your clit. He might focus there more in the future. I can't orgasm without clit stimulation.

Most Helpful Guys

  • You can fake everything for years then one day, you will grab a baseball bat and beat him over the head with it. Or he is going to scratch you so much that a few visits to the doctor will slap some reasoning into you.

    Drop him. You told him once. If he does not listen to you that is his problem. He does not care to learn what he is doing or listens. Very few girls would put up with him.

  • Tell him the truth, tell him you don't orgasm and you don't like it. Tell him you'd rather him do other things. Truth is always better.

    • Finally... a helpful answer.

    • That was my answer - to simply tell him about the problem as you did to us! And, instead you called me "stupid," and blocked my comments. I have no idea why you did this. I was only trying to help you...

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 9

  • When he tries to finger you, just go down on him.

    • What about me though?

    • As he's getting off, you just sit on his face.

    • I don't think I wanna do that...

    • Show All

  • Well, you just explained it to us. Why is it that you can't do the same to him?

    • Because he doesn't have a vagina stupid.

  • If he's "jamming" his fingers into you, he's doing it wrong.

  • Just tell him he's not doing sht

  • You told him to stop and he didn't. Congratulations you boyfriend is a rapist.

    • Um... I didn't tell him to stop during sex, I mentioned afterwards that it was uncomfortable then he said it was cause I was tense so I let him do it a few more times. Pretty sure no one is a rapist and you're sick for congratulating somebody on something so serious. You must be very sad...

    • The "congratulations" part was sarcasm. However, you in your comment said " I told him before it was uncomfortable, but he just tells me that it's because I'm "being tense." When z girl tell me what I'm doing to her is uncomfortable, I stop. She clearly doesn't like what I'm doing to her so continuing is a against her will. I my view that continuing is rape. Rape is a very serious matter.

    • I told him after the fact. I still consented to it and the sarcasm towards rape is fucked. That's not something to be sarcastic about. How do you know that I haven't been raped and I don't feel your shitty sarcasm didn't fucking offend me and make me cry? You're an awful person.

  • You might as well tell him how you feel. Don't hide how you feel... that leads to bad sex... the more open you are.. the better it is

  • Just let him know there's alternatives he can do (not sure what you like). Be straight up with him.

  • Do you know if it's the technique? He might just jamming you "porn-style". Other fingering techniques feel different, can hit your g spot.

    • He tried the g-spot stuff, it doesn't work. It does nothing for me at all.

    • There is no such thing as "g-spot".

    • lol.

    • Show All

  • He might be doing it all wrong. I just try to make a "come here" motion very gently to stroke the g-spot.

  • just tell him you dont like it.

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