Sexual Relationships
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Why does he buy me SO much lingerie?

Hi guys, so I've been with my guy a few years, we have a good relationship but he seems obsessed with lingerie and its starting to worry/annoy me. Its not like we've been married 20 years and need to spice up our bedroom activities. I'm happy to wear lingerie, I like it, but not ALL the time EVERY time. I think its more for special occasions or as a surprise or whatever, a couple times a week even, but he wants me in lingerie all the time. We literally have drawers of it, and yet he still keeps buying new stuff all the time. I keep getting packages through and they're ordered by him and its clearly lingerie. Stockings, socks, outfits, teddies, chemises, etc etc. I mean I do appreciate he likes it and so do I but seriously this obsessive buying new lingerie is really annoying now. What the hell is wrong with naked normal sex? Why do we have to have drawers of sex clothes? I have to get dressed to basically just get undressed again and he keeps buying more! He is obviously on his phone looking at lingerie sites to buy stuff and I'm starting to hate how much time he spends looking at sex clothes now. Why do you think he buys so much lingerie and how do I ask him to stop without sounding 'ungrateful'? (before the jokes start, no he doesn't wear it himself and isn't cross dressing, its for me).
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It does sound a bit over the top. I'm a huge, huge lover of sexy lingerie and have assembled a pretty sizable collection for my girlfriend but she's never complained. She loves the sex, strut her stuff element of it. She always wear stiletto pumps as well. At the end of this opinion is a link to a Take I wrote. I suggest that you talk to him but before you do, think about the fact that his fantasy is you in lingerie, that he loves you that way. Some of us just like the anticipation that lingerie incorporates.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

  • You have already told him and it didn't "stick". Tell him in stronger terms, even if it makes you sound ungrateful. Let him know enough is enough. You can satisfy his fetish (and that is what it is) some of the time, but you cannot be doing that all the time. Tell him the drawers are overflowing with the things he keeps buying, so you are just going to start throwing out hings if he keeps buying them. Then follow through with it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It would definitely be a sexual fetish. That he clearly what he likes a girl to do in bed.
    I would basically just tell him that you really appreciate all of the gifts, but that they are not necessary for you guys to be able to have a good time in bed.

  • That's probably how he gets turned on and by buying you the lingerie etc he is indirectly saying "I love it when you dress up". If I were you, I'd buy him some male costumes too and let him join the "fun" and see how he'll react

    • That's sweet but its SO often that its kind of lost the meaning. I do try and buy him stuff but there's so much novelty rubbish costumes or lacey feminine underwear, not much sexy macho stuff out there lol. I just don't know what to do about it, how do I say something without it coming across as ungrateful or making him feel weird..

  • Maybe he seen you've got some ripped undies... jks just tell him you got more than what you need with a smile on your face.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 8

  • I'm wondering does he wear it to.

  • oh damn sounds like he has a lingerie fetish

    • What do I do?

    • tell him how you feel about it..

  • maybe he want to wear to. I like wearing it and I'm a man and I am married to.

  • maybe he's giving you hints

  • Because he likes you in them too much. He must be loaded. Otherwise, he wouldn't buy you so much. Ask him if he is afraid he will run out of money if he keeps buying them.

  • He might have a lingerie fetish and need to see it on you to get off. Talk to him and find out what his obsessive buying is all about.

  • So, did you ever do anything about this?

  • Whatever happened with this?

  • I do the same but I do it as a cover. I but what I want to wear when my wife is gone. So it's not really for her but for me.

  • Sounds like he's got an out of control kink.

    • What should I do about it?

    • You could probably tell him you're not some doll he can just keep dressing up, so cool it with the lingerie for a while. If he seems upset it'll probably be more out of annoyance than anything, but I bet he'll try to make you feel guilty or just throw a hissy fit over it. It'll be a good test actually, it's a pretty minor thing, how he reacts to this will tell you if he's a worthwhile long term prospect.

    • I've mentioned before about it and he's been ok with it and just said he sees cheap lingerie and so he buys it. But he's obviously also looking lol so its not exactly accidental. He said I don't have to wear lingerie at all but he does find it sexy and thought it made me feel sexy too (which it does sometimes but I don't want to do it everytime). But then he just ends up buying more again a few weeks later :\ agh

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