Just looking for sex

about 4 months ago I ended a 6 year relationship and I am not really interested in getting serious with anyone right now. (Hopefully I can ask this without it sounding terrible). How do you know if a girl is up for just casual sex with no strings attached? I mean, are there girls out there that want that too? What are some ways to tell a girl (in so many words) that you just want a "friend with benefits"?

 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Be very careful with the girl. I'm not saying every girl is like this, but in these situations, it tends to be the girl who catches feelings. And it's perfectly understandable, you're supposed to want an emotional connection with the person you're physically involved with. Right now I am in a situation where the guy doesn't want a serious relationship because his last one ended so badly. At first I was a little taken back because I wanted something more than casual sex. At that point we knew each other well, we could talk about everything to each other. He continued to take me out on dates and invite me over for a lazy day (which isn't true considering these are the days we just have hot sex all day) anyways, the more I continued to do this, the more okay I was about where we were at. We had a serious talk about where we stood, and he said he doesn't want to call me his friends with benefit. He says he wants MY company and wants to give affection to someone he already cared about. Because if you see us two when we are together, we really do care about each other. It's not "f*** and leave." that, to me is what a friends with benefits (f*** buddy) would be.

    So what you need to do is:

    -make sure she understands your situation early on

    -treat her really well

    -make sure you know her well

    -consider what she says when emotions start to run high

    • My situations is the exact same, my "friend" doesn't want me to call what we have friends with benefits again he was messed up by his ex. boys=terrible with emotion

What Girls Said 5

  • be very very honest..girls may seem as though they are up for "just fun" but you have to be completely brutally direct that there is no chance of a relationship..i know this will decrease your chances but girls are human beings not dolls and you could do serious damage to someone.i met this guy during the summer became very good friends then more than friends. I knew he was really upset when his ex dumped him but I didn't know he didn't want a relationship for ages. he kept saying stupid things llike "im not looking for a relationship but if the right girl came along..." he said that several times when we were just friends now what was I supposed to think? I wasn't interested at first but before we hooked up I asked about is ex and he was like "f*** that". Again how was I to know he wasn't over her? his ex is less attractive than me, she broke his heart and I'm the only one he can talk to and yet he wasn't honest with me and it really hurt me so much because I fell in love with him.He kept comparing what we had to his ex who had sex with him like the second time she met him (I never had sex with him) and it p*ssed me off! depending on the girl there are girls who just want sex but end up falling in love because physical closeness causes emotions ! there are girls who just want sex and there are girls who want sex and love and want their guy to be happy...DON'T GIVE HER MIXED MESSAGES SAY NO RELATIONSHIP,NOT NOW,NOT EVER,NO CHANCE. it is the only way to avoid a mess. that way you will get the girls who will definitely have no feelings, those are the ones you need!

  • Try hooking up on Craigslist. I have found several Friends with Benefits over the years. Check "casual encounters" and be honest about what you are hoping to find. Good luck.

  • I am pretty much in the exact same situation except I'm a girl and it was a 7 year relationship, I'm hoping it will be easier to figure out if a guy is up for friends with benefits or not, I would say with a girl the keyword is friend there and it will be easier to find out if a friend is up for it than a stranger because generally people can talk about sex with friends, however you risk friendships that route, if you are looking for strangers I am sure there are websites for that kind of thing like eharmony only for sex instead of dating, and I agree with the above poster about bars and parties.

  • You have to be honest when you meet someone. On the other hand, it's hard to just meet somebody and say "hey, I just want sex, how about you". The easiest way around that would to just try to meet girls at bars, where a drunken hookup is often left at just a drunken hookup for both parties.

    On the other hand, if you're taking the girl out to dinner, on dates, etc., but all with the sole purpose of just getting sex, realize you can be giving her mixed signals, so as much as she may not like to hear that that's your deal, at least do your part to be clear and honest. If you do your part there, and she still misinterprets, then you at least took your fare share of the responsibility.

  • you just straight up ask

    • Always a possibility, but the girl needs to know what she's getting herself into, just because your not ready for a relationship and your kinda messed up... doesn't mean that the girl deserves to be messed up to.

    • I would think that straight up asking would have negative results...

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