Friends with Benefits! Is it love or lust?

What is it really when a you and a friend become closer but doesn't have a commitment? I have a friend and now we are physically attached to one another yet we don't want to commit. Is it because we are scared, is it because we feel that there is more out in the world, what is it. I believe it is both. We are scared to continue to grow this "relationship" we are having. I feel that if it grows it won't be better just worst. But at the same time, I don't love him enough to say that I only want him. My question is, is it love or is it lust? And is it so wrong to just be physically attracted to someone?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It is never wrong to be attracted to someone, we want to have a love in our lives be it a little or forever. The thing that NOBODY seems to understand is that loneliness sucks gutter slime with dead chipmunks. Therefore, it is natural for folks to have a physical connection with someone. You can have a sex-fling with a person and not lead to drama or something more. But you must use a lot of maturity and definitive understanding.

    I encourage sex-flings wholeheartedly. It is safe because you are involved with one person instead of looking for someone new each time you get horny. The rate of hookups are entirely up to you two be it every day or once every two weeks. There is no expectations: only sex. In addition, there is no accountability; you do what you want as does he until you meet up. Then you know what is on the agenda. Finally, the breakup will be easier because you are using him and vice versa. Well, sometimes the breakup can be drama.

    Sheesh, seems like this question is brought up every day. Oh well.

    • How could you be so sure that the person is involved with only one person? Who knows it might be more.

    • In most cases, a sex-fling is a very open relationship. Once a person, usually the woman, finds that special man to stay with, then the sex-fling is over and the two part peacefully. Not always a happy ending. If there are multiple folks involved, then it should be made known. However, no real need to have multiple FWB, gets complicated.

  • I would say that it is both love and lust. If he is in the same age bracket as you, you both are young and not sure what you want. Sometimes you meet someone of the opposite sex and you become close to them and love them on a different level. It's ok to just be close friends as long as nothing else is happening. Once you take the next step in the relationship(I'm referring to sex) then you will probably make it worse and most likely damage the relationship. I say this because when you become that connect to someone then when one or the other starts seeing someone else jealousy will probably wipe out what you have built. So until you both know what you want just be happy with what you have. After all there is nothing better that a true friend.

    • I was going to say something myself but after reading your answer, I would have to agree.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Lust my dear! You like the idea of wanting maybe a little more but as you said you know it will only get worse!

    And No it's not wrong to be physically attracted to someone, Not at all.

    You love him as a friend not as a lover. Keep it like it is and see where it go's!

    It's hard to say try not to get hurt. Just try to step back a little and don't get to involved.

  • I have those kind of friends, just two, and it is simply because they aren't willing to commit, but they still want to be with me. Ground rules can be set up, and even though I'm dealing with this as well, it's not the healthy kind of relationships to have.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No not at all we all go through these phases in life, it happens. Totally get what your saying. Nope not wrong at all, if that's all you want that's all you want why ruin a good thing ;). Here's another good one, if it's not broke don't fix it ;).