Sexual Relationships
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Guys, my boyfriend always has an excuse to not have sex with me, is that even natural?

Okay, so he works full-time for the city doing outside parks maintenance stuff and he comes home exhausted. I understand that he's tired but is that a good enough excuse every time to never be in the mood? It's driving me nuts because I have a VERY high sex drive and I feel like I'm begging him to get some, which is completely pathetic. Also, even if I do end up getting it, I am usually the one pleasuring him. Never the other way around. So, tell me, is this behavior natural or am I wasting my time? I would very much appreciate your input on this, thanks! :)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • There is something else going on here. He's insecure alright, but about what?

    Has something big changed recently?
    Job loss?
    Weight gain?
    Death in the family?
    Something that could stir the core of who he is?

    He's a man that takes pride in his sex drive, hence blaming lack there of on the children.

    He may not feel "man enough" or attractive enough (compared to how he used to feel) to make the effort, initiate sex, or even allow it to happen.

    Whatever the cause, he isn't going to cave-in this way. He's hurting, and doesn't know the cure.
    He'd rather have a flat disagreement than have sex.
    .
    By putting up a roadblock, he's avoiding the solution.
    He's dug in his heels, and has taken a stand.

    How to get him out of the rut is: you have to talk to him.
    Tell him no matter what's on his mind, he has you there for him.
    He's your man, he knows how well you know him.
    Show him that love.
    Tell him how important the future of your relationship depends on... both of you contributing to the physical aspects of the relationship.
    Give him a chance to let that soak in.
    He wants you. He doesn't want to lose you, and whatever he wants to do with you.
    Wherever he stopped in his sexual journey, wherever you left off in his chain of "trying new things" pick it back up.
    What USED to turn him on when he DID feel something.
    And why doesn't he anymore?
    Get him over these mental hurdles through your long conversation, and you should see a vibrant change in his attitude towards sex.
    However you choose to phrase it, just make it authentically you, abundantly clear & sincere that you want to help him!

    But the main thing of course is, does he want to change.
    Does he want to own his life completely.

    • Thanks for granting MHO! 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆

  • full time work with other girl.. yes good reason
    only full time work.. not a good reason
    you have to find out whats wrong?
    is that something you do.. something you bad of.. something he don't like

    or there is someone else.. he finds more pleasure with her?

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What Guys Said

(18)

  • Tell him to beat it you'll never have anything close to what u need n want... Plus he can sleep like he says he's so tired...

  • Have you ever thought of waking up early and trying? At least that way he can't use the same excuse of being tired lol

    • Omg... what an excellent idea! Why the hell did I not think of that lol thanks! ^-^

    • That's what I'm here for lol good luck! :P

  • Does he want to try something that you're just no willing to do? Maybe he's tired of the tedious doggy/missionary routine and wants to try something more adventurous like choking/getting his asshole licked.

  • I believe you are wasting your time especially since you have a high sex drive. I once worked with a woman that was married and had 2 children. She once told me that she was lucky if she could get her husband to have sex with her twice a year! She only stayed with him for the kids, but eventually cheated on him. It sucks to base a breakup on sex but it is a big part of every relationship so if you want it a lot and he never does then that is a major problem. I wish you the best of luck.

  • When he comes home, let him know you love him. If he's not in the mood, ask him if he minds if you masturbate by yourself in bed. Then do it in front of him. Enjoy yourself thoroughly. Then let me know what happens.

  • it seems to be you are trying too hard. Give and take is always part of the relationship but if its mostly take and not reciprocal on his end...

  • he's just selfish don't know why you're with him

  • YOUR BEGGING TO GET SOME? WOMEN TYPICALLY DON'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM. @sweerT23

    all of the fucking time in my last relationship I was trying to do the same thing. In many other cases women want to wait LONG periods of time to get sex

    LIVE WITH IT BITCH

  • Not at 21 it's not!

  • Low sex drive duhh

  • Show more from Guys (8)

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