Is he after sex? He knows I'm a Virgin, what now?

[Anonymous]

there is a guy that I've known for years. Our "relationship" has been on & off. One minute were flirting and the next were ignoring each other. We both see each other at the gym and had a class together. He has asked me out previously but I turned him down bc I had a boyfriend. We've been back in touch for a while now and we have been flirting nonstop. We text& sext. We're both pretty sexual and are sexually attracted to each other. I believe he's mentally attracted to me as well. We haven't gone out on any dates because neither of us has made a move. But whenever he sees me, it's like there's no one around him and sees no one but me through the look in his eye as he stares at me and through his long and continuous big smile. My worry is that he might be after sex. I've confronted him in a non obvious way and he has told me that he's not multiple times but every guy can lie. Another thing is I've told him that I think he's a player due to obvious reasons and he has said he is when not in a relationship but when he has a girl, he gives his attention towards her. He also said he doesn't understand why I call him a player since "he wants to have with a beautiful girl that has talked dirty to him." My anther worry is that since he "wants just sex" from me, I thought he would slowly pull himself away from me once I told him I'm a virgin. Now that he knows, he's still the same. He acts and speaks and behaves the same. I don't know if he's after sex and is just hanging on until I give in or if he wants more than sex.

[Anonymous]

You'll know when he starts taking you on dates. If he just wants sex he's less likely to wait a long time. If he respects you for you, he will understand waiting a longer time, especially since you're a virgin. When I was a virgin, and even now that I'm very choosy on who I'll open my legs to, it's very easy to find out who just wants sex. Some of my friends don't wait as long as I do, and jokingly call me "the nun" but then they see why because sometimes they'll have sex with a guy they like and he's just using them and they just get upset later.
Some guys will wait for a long time just to use a girl for sex, but thats more rare. I know one guy, he waited a couple years for his girl who said she's waiting for marriage... a week after she finally gave it to him, he broke up with her. I always tell him off over that girl. Anyway, guys like him are rare, most who just want sex will get bored of waiting for it and just go get it somewhere else.
Either way though, if I were you, I'd be hesitant to actually give my virginity or even just sex to a guy who readily admits he's a player, even if he says he's only a player while he's single. I mean, you kept yiur shit fresh and stuff, he hasn't, it's so much nicer when two people are more similar sexually.

[Asker]

We've never been on dates so how else do I know? Beside him sticking around

[Opinion Owner]

When you talk, it depends what you talk about. Like small talk and superficial conversations aren't as good as conversations where you're really getting to know each other. Especially when he tells you lots about his family or general day to day life and stories about friends, life, family etc... If he doesn't suggest it, you suggest hanging out, he really say no, so no need to worry about that. If he wants to go somewhere proper, it's better than a guy who just invites you to his house. If he's broke, you can do free stuff like picnics since it's summer. Also, try find out if he talks to other girls since he said he's a player, when a guy is more serious about a girl, the other girls will go, because just like us with guys, somehow they just won't compare to her so they just seem boring or time wasting. It's way easier to tell when you start hanging out though, but I found that some guys will wait like forever for a girl they like even if they don't spend much time together.

[Alyssab]

First of all , he's most likely very excited about the fact that you are a virgin so I wouldn't worry about that at all. in my experience the best way to figure this out is to hold off on having sex until you're sure. Make him go out on a few dates with you first , and have open discussions about your intentions with each other. It's important to let him know that you are interested in more then just sex. The dates don't have to be a big deal but spend a good amount of time together. If he's only looking for sex you'll notice a lack of effort and he will eventually get bored. If he's interested in you he will be thrilled to spend time with you ! Also trust yourself , if you have a bad feeling about something you're most likely right

[reptocarl]

The only way to tell is to hang on to your virginity as long as possible

[Asker]

What's your opinion other than that? Generally speaking.

[reptocarl]

Date him if you wish. What he said about being in a relationship sounds truthful to me. But still hold on to your virginity

[Klaatu51]

y he should pull himself away if u were a virgin? most guys don't have any prob wid it actually.
although i believe he should respect da fact u have a boyfriend and stop makin any move on u

[Asker]

I don't have a boyfriend anymore. That was years ago.

[Klaatu51]

still even so he admitted he was a player didn't he? so just tell him "nothing's gonna happen" maybe would make him pull himself away at all?