Sexual Relationships
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Guys, What do guys think about when they watch porn? Do they fantasize about the girls or is it just what's happening? Why do they watch it?

I'm insecure with myself, and I think porn is disrespectful in a relationship because if you have your own sex life and claim to be happy with it, you shouldn't fantasize over someone elses. I asked my boyfriend if he watches porn anymore (he went without for a year with his ex so that's understood! ) and he says no that it didn't really do anything for him anymore. I worry that he fantasized (-es) about the girls and wants me to look like them/be like them. I'm insecure to the point if I were to find him looking at another girl like that or watching porn, I would probably cry I wish I wasn't like this, but I am and I don't know how to fix it. He is very respectful of my feelings towards it, but I still wonder if he thinks about the girls he seen and tries to make me like them so he can be sexually satisfied. So I just want to know is it the girls that get him off or the sex part? Please be honest. That's all I ask for. I'm just confused on the situation
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Most Helpful Guys

  • We are subject to our moods as much as anyone. When I watch porn (or fantasize on my own, for that matter), it could be in appreciation of any or all of those things in different amounts. Sometimes it's a crazy circumstance scenario that is the driver, sometimes it's the physique of the actress, sometimes it's the techniques and abilities of the actress, and sometimes it's the personality of the actress. It all depends on what I'm wanting at the moment.

    You can't be all things. Sometimes I want a soft delicate flower, sometimes I want a hardbody. Sometimes I want a timid sweetheart, and sometimes I want a domineering biatch.

    Remember that we are neither purely a tournament species nor purely a pair-bonding species. We are going to have urges that you may not be able to fulfill directly (no matter which urges you are able to fulfill -- you can't be everything at once). But don't police his feelings and desires, but his actions. If you agreed to be in an exclusive relationship, then hold him to that. Don't persecute people for thought-crime, because you commit it too.

    • He's going to look at other women and it's going to make you uncomfortable. Get used to that. But you're also going to do the same thing, and it's going to make him uncomfortable. That's just reality. Give each other some wiggle-room to be humans.

  • He's not comparing. He's just fantasizing. Here's a good explanation of why men watch porn. It boils down to fantasy and convenience.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a5423-why-men-watch-porn

    • If they watch it because they have a desire to look at other women other than their own, is it wrong for me to feel uncomfortable, or even hurt, with the fact that he isn't satisfied with looking at just me? If he feels a need to look at other women for satisfaction, why should there be any reason for me to feel secure if I can't satisfy him to the point where I'm all he desires

    • Okay. Let's take a major step back and try to not make this all about you, shall we? When a man engages in sex with a woman, it's a complicated affair, pun intended. He has to take into account her needs, boundaries, stated preferences, feelings and a host of other factors. All this befor ehe even gets to the part about his needs and trying to achieve the closeness he seeks. You wouldn't have it any other way. You want a considerate, caring lover, no doubt. When he watches porn, it's all about two things: fantasy and convenience. If you really, honestly expect him t never lust after another woman in his head, you sadly mistaken. He was a girl watcher when he found you and finding you, no matter how satisfying, doesn't kill that desire to look. There's an old sw that is absolutely true: when a guy's through looking, he's through. He is, to put a point on it, NEVER gong to stop looking at other women. Nor do you want him to.

    • It's that sexual desire that's the engine of your intimate relationship. Nor do you stop looking at attractive men nor does he want you to for the same reason. That he looks at other women and porn says nothing about how he reels about you. So porn is about him fantasizing. It's also where he likely finds new ideas to bring to your conjugal bed that you'll hopefully find very entertaining. The other reason men watch porn is convenience. He doesn't have to take all those factors I mentioned into consideration. It's just him and his dick. Bottom line: fear not!! Just relax and enjoy the man in your life and ignore the porn. Or better yet, offer to watch it with him. It makes a great warm up.

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What Guys Said

(19)

  • The answers to all your questions depend on the individual answering, and the only really helpful answers you could receive would be coming from your boyfriend.

    Bottom line, though: You have nothing to worry about if your boyfriend watches porn. Almost everyone does it. You should try it as well. You might like it, and there's nothing to be afraid of. Watching porn means nothing other than getting some visual stimulation. For most people it's the best way to masturbate, too.

    So let your boyfriend watch porn if he wants. And check out some porn. And relax! Sounds like you've got a great boyfriend. Take care. :)

  • Porn is just a visual aid for masturbation. If he's choosing to not have sex with you and instead masturbates to porn then yeah, he has a problem.

    However, if the sex life is fine and he just happens to masturbate when he's horny and you aren't around to help him out then there's nothing wrong with watching some porn.

    He doesn't want you to be them. He doesn't want you to act like them. This is absurdly silly logic. Girls need to stop thinking this way. He's just watching attractive people having sex to help cure the horny itch.

    If he didn't want to be with you, for all that you are, then he wouldn't be. You don't enter a relationship with someone hoping to change them. That isn't reality.

    As to your last few sentences: For most, it's just the sex. This is why most people search by category. Unless he's watching the same porn star over and over and is becoming obsessive over her, then stop worrying. You are just going to drive yourself insane.

  • That's so cute of you. If you're pleasing him right and happy with your sex life there's no reason for him to look at porn specially if you live together

  • Never did much for me in the first place, so no, I don't watch it. I have guy friends who do, and if it works for them, great. I live enough illusions. I don't need more.

  • actually there r many guys who do it, and most of them i believe do it for masturbation's sake. sometimes masturbation feels better than actual sex

  • If I entered a relationship with you, any memory of porn that I have, and any porn that I see, I would implant you into the girls place in the porn-- not to make you like them, but just to make any fantasy of you tangible in my head. Guys are visual, and if there isn't a real image in front of their face, it's harder to get off on the thoughts of you. If I have seen a tangible image of another scenario, it makes it 10 times easier to get off on the thoughts of you if I can picture you in that scenario.. Make any sense?

  • I watch the act and typically imagine myself being the guy having sex with the girl.

    Men want a lot of sexual partners, it's just part of male nature. The fact that he's stroking himself instead of chasing tail should mean a lot to you.

  • lots of men watch porn. It does keep our imagination alive by watching it. Just because he watches porn does not automatically mean that he doesn't love you any more. I mostly happens for pleasure only.

  • When I watch porn I just watch what's happening and don't really think or fanatasize about anything. I just watch it because it's boring to masturbate without anything to look at. I almost never watch porn when I have a girlfriend though because I'd rather look at pictures of my girlfriend or actuallu be with her in person than look at some random pornstar.

  • usually just her pussy and how good it would feel to have my dick just sliding in and out... that’s about it,

  • Show more from Guys (9)

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Guys, What do guys think about when they watch porn? Do they fantasize about the girls or is it just what's happening? Why do they watch it?