Lost my virginity to a guy who I considered my boyfriend but who told me he wasn't ready for a relationship! What does he mean?

[BenAddict]

We've been seeing each other for some months now. I have never had a boyfriend before. While never really addressing me as his girlfriend, we did 'things' that any couple would do. But a few days back, when I confronted him about what I was to him, he didn't have much to say except, " I am not ready for a relationship". I was too drunk so I slept with him hoping that he would change his opinion. I am really confused! He got upset when I called us 'friends with benefits'. What does he want? He's not my boyfriend according to him. I just lost my virginity to him. And I am not his friends with benefits? It's not like he's been ignoring my calls or messages. He said he was a commitment phobe but he was in a relationship with his ex for 6 years! Is he too damaged from his past relationships?
I don't love him but his words and actions make me feel like he doesn't respect me. I am really frustrated as I have never been in a relationship before!

[Anonymous]

I seriously had almost the same exact problem, except I lost my virginity to him and THEN asked him what we were. We would hang out with his friends, go out to eat, and spend a lot of time together. I remember he told me once he liked me and I told him I liked him too, but this was before we had sex. After we had sex a few times I said "you know I like you a lot, right?" and he pretty much ignored what I said and didn't respond. He would then go through these weird phases of ignoring me whenever I tried talking to him, even if I didn't text him for a few days. A few months later one of his friends asked him why I wasn't his girlfriend yet, and then he freaked out, ignored me for 2 weeks, and eventually "broke up" with me. He said he's still young and didn't want a girlfriend yet. I was so angry and crushed that he let this weird relationship continue for months before he told me how he felt.

I'm not sure why your guy got upset when you said FWB? Is there any chance he could have been seeing other girls at the same time? If he doesn't want a relationship and you don't feel like he respects you I would probably end it with him, unless he has a change of heart. If this keeps going on and he doesn't change his mind about wanting a girlfriend/be something more with you, then it's most likely that you'll be the one who ends up hurt in the end.

[BenAddict]

Thank you so much for your reply! Sometimes you know how things are going to end up, but you still do it anyway hoping that it doesn't end up how you thought it would end. :/

[BertMacklinFBI]

just for future reference bro.. don't ever assume anyone is in a relationship with you lol. that fact has to be mutually known and in agreement.

he's just not ready man. give him more time or if you don't wanna wait for him then just be friends and move on to the next prospect.

[BenAddict]

Never assume! Will keep that in mind! Lol. Just new to these emotions! Yeah, I don't want to lose him as a friend. He's a nice person. :) Thank you for your opinion. :)

[jacquesvol]

Now you're a girl like the majority, no longer a Tinkerbell.
Congrats. :)

But what bothers me is the "I was too drunk so I slept with him" bit.
That's a sign you should really take attention to your alcohol intake. (I had a girlfriend who got into big problems that way)

[Goldie757]

He justed wanted sex nothing more.

[DoraLikesSugar]

He played you.
u dun goofed m8