My boyfriend and I had a threesome while we were drunk and I'm wondering if it was a mistake and how to handle it :/?

[Nikkirenee26]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 and a half years and have never done something like this. Deep down it's always been a fantasy, but I've also always had insecurities and a bit of jealousness. I hate picturing my guy with someone else, but a deep dark part of me finds it a turn on. Well, long story short, the other night we had a little get together at the house, everyone got wasted. Eventually everyone else went to bed and it was just me, my boyfriend, and our friend (girl) all in his room. I like making out with girls when I'm drunk, so I started it. I then started pushing my boyfriend into kissing her and well it just all went from there. At the time, it was really sexy and really turned me on. But at one point he started fingering her and talking dirty to her while I was riding him... and it made me feel like he was ignoring me and it really hurt. Another thing that hurt was that he came while she was the one that was fucking him. When it was over, in my drunken and hurt state, I started yelling at him saying he enjoyed her more than me blah blah blah... I feel so bad since I was the one who started it :( So I can't really be mad at him right? For wanting sex with someone else? I asked him about it afterwards and he said he didn't even want it and I was the one that made him do it. But he wouldn't do it if he really didn't want to right? I asked him if he at least had fun and he said it was weird. I feel like a big hypocrite but can't get over the scene of him cumming while fucking her and him enjoying it so much... I feel like a bitch but at the same time it hurts me that he would so easily have sex with another girl. Ugh.

[OldMarriedGuy]

You have a lot going on here. You are correct that you don't have the right to be mad at him when you got the whole thing started. It feels good every time a guy cums so there is no hidden meaning to him enjoying an orgasm while she fucked him. Another reason this situation is bad is the fact that alcohol and/or drugs were involved which messes up a persons thought process. So not only was he not thinking straight but neither were you when you started it. I understand the conflict because my wife and I have discussed threesomes before and even though the idea of it sounds sexy I am afraid my reaction to another guy joining us for sex would be similar to yours. She also has the same issues when thinking about a threesome with 2 girls. Both of us have jealousy tendencies and both don't have the best self confidence either. I think those 2 factors would pose a threat to our relationship if we ever had a threesome. We worry our partner may enjoy the third person more than us. One thing she and I agreed on though is that if one of us got a threesome with 2 people of the opposite sex then we would make sure the other got the same experience. I don't know if it would make your situation better or worse but maybe you should discuss with him the possibility of a threesome with him and another guy. Another big issue with a threesome is knowing who to pick to be the third person. If you choose a friend, like in your case, there is a risk of losing that friendship for many different reasons. If you choose a stranger then you risk them having an STD. I hope your friendship with that girl doesn't get destroyed by this event. There are suggestions I could give you about creating a better scenario but you can't change the past so I don't want to cause you to dwell on them. As far as feeling like he was ignoring you during the threesome, I would imagine it would be difficult to be able to split your attention between 2 different women during sex so you shouldn't take that personally. Him fingering her and talking dirty to her is part of sex so it sounds like your expectations of a threesome weren't exactly spot on. That is exactly what should happen in a threesome. I don't know your relationship with your boyfriend but in relationships the only way to handle upsetting situations is to talk it out. No matter how you try to deal with it it will always come down to communicating with your partner. A guy has little control of when he cums so he didn't mean it as a personal attack

[OldMarriedGuy]

Sorry it didn't all fit in one post. So the reason you feel he liked her better was simply your insecurities coming out. If you think you can handle the truth you should ask him if he enjoyed her better instead of assuming that he did. As far as him so easily having sex with another girl, as you put it, once again you instigated this whole scenario. If a girlfriend encourages her boyfriend to have sex with another girl then he is going to take advantage of the opportunity he is given. When my wife and I were officially broken up, before marriage, we still hung out as friends. We went to one of her brother's drinking parties and we were both drinking. Her best friend was there too and at one point we were all sitting on a bench in the garage where people were playing ping pong and drinking. My wife was sitting between me and her best friend. My wife told me to put my arm around her so I did. Then she said that she was going to whisper to her best friend so that she had to lean in close to

[OldMarriedGuy]

My wife was sitting between me and her best friend. My wife told me to put my arm around her so I did. Then she said that she was going to whisper to her best friend so that she had to lean in close to her. Once she leaned in close I was supposed to grab her best friends boob. Initially I was totally against it because we were drunk and because it just seemed like a bad idea. Then I realized how many times in my life I have passed up opportunities and regretted it later. I knew nothing like this would ever happen again in my life so I agreed. It worked exactly how she had planned and I grabbed n squeezed a handful of her best friend's boob. I think this is something they did at high school parties because even though her friend looked at me like what are you doing, she didn't make a big deal out of it or actually say anything about it. My wife also didn't react to me doing it nor has she talked about it, ever! I just assume she still remembers that it happened but I don't know for sure

[Nikkirenee26]

This really helps thank you so much. We've both been busy since it happened so we haven't had much time to talk about it in person, but I'm hoping once we do it will help a lot :)

[OldMarriedGuy]

please just talk to him about it and be rational. Then decide together the best course of action for your relationship. I hope the best for you!

[Nikkirenee26]

I really appreciate all of your advice and not being rude or judgmental :) Our relationship means more than a simple night of fun that I started. I have to take responsibility. And as long as he still wants to be with me, this will just be a learning experience :)

[Scrambled]

Life is about learning and exploring. You had an opportunity and went for it. Now you know. Rather die with "oh wells", than "what ifs". Your boyfriend did the same thing (I'm sure he wanted it) The problem with threesomes is exactly that, the insecurities (does he like x more than me). I had a mmf threesome with a friends with benefits and even she kept calling my name to reassure me I was the the "main" guy. Him cumming with her is nothing, a guy sometimes will just cum and a threesome, with a different person, is very exotic and anything can happen, don't take that as a sign that he likes the other girl more. Next time, set rules, and try not do this drunk, (unless the party knows before hand it will happen).

[Cmasterson]

I think if anything, you should have had a threesome with someone who wasn't your friend, it causes a lot of tension and jealously in all honesty, when your boyfriend doesn't know the girl or you that well (but know they're safe etc) It would probably make it more enjoyable since you don't have to worry about impressing them etc. ALSO you wouldn't have to see her again, in the end you're not a hypocrite you wanted to please your boyfriend, and bring drunk just made you take the plunge, Well you basically fed him "food" of course he's gonna take the opportunity, just next time please be 100% sure x

[Nikkirenee26]

Thank you for not making me feel like a bitch :) You're 100% right though, I shouldn't have definitely made sure I was ready for it.

[AustinMan]

You owe both of them an apology. You could have stopped things, that you started by the way by your own admission, but you went with it and then went psycho bitch. It sounds to me like you could use some work on your self confidence and self respect.

[Nikkirenee26]

Alright, guess I should have worded things better. I didn't go psycho bitch and I didn't do it infront of her.

[AustinMan]

When you talk about yelling and losing it, that is my definition of psych bitch. Call it what you will. I stand by my answer.

[Nikkirenee26]

Never said the words "I lost it." But yes I did apologize for giving him shit. I stand by my answer since, you know, I was there.

[AustinMan]

You were also drunk. I'm not trying to belittle you or give you a hard time unnecessarily. I just think that when someone, regardless of gender, starts something and then doesn't like the outcome when they didn't make a move to stop it has no room for complaint.

[LibraPisces66]

Yes, you have to be careful what you wish for. That must be hard to have that visual/moment of him cumming in your head. But he definitely was turned on and enjoying her, so you can't blame him. It's hard though. Emotions run high, feelings get hurt. Threesomes are not for everyone, or the timid about sharing their partner.

[Nikkirenee26]

Yea, I definitely wouldn't have done it if I wasn't wasted lol You don't think I should be worried about him being sexually attracted to someone else though right? I mean it human nature I suppose and we were all drunk :/

[LibraPisces66]

I don't think he'll ever get it out of his head, or want to. It's quite the experience after all. And of course he will always find her sexually attractive. He probably always has. He's a guy, and like most guys I'm sure. Still, he's with you and is just better adjusted to the whole thing than most females will ever be. Emotions being what they are, and generally more strong or present in girls.

[Jaydog666]

Sounds like you guys dont really love each other and should break up. Go to church and pray on it.

[Nikkirenee26]

That's a very rash decision to say that. We love eachother very much >_>

[alonzoslade]

Going to church has nothing to do with it because god doesn't exist.

[Jaydog666]

Just messing about going to church but I don't think you guys love each othe because a couple in love would never share each other by bringing another person into their bed.

[Nikkirenee26]

I think that's a bit of old fashion thinking.

[Jaydog666]

But true. You have put your relationship at risk and this may be the beginning of the end.

[KidanisCortes]

this is really dumb he just came with her cause she rode him last... he cums with you fine at all times and YOU started and pushed him into it. You fucked up your relationship because i know you won't let this go. My ex wanted a 3 way and I flat pout said NO because of things like these

[Nikkirenee26]

I didn't ruin anything. You don't have to be so cruel. Not all relationships are like yours. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I'm simply asking a question. You don't know me, this literally just happened and I'm not holding ANYTHING against him. Just want the opinions of others.

[KidanisCortes]

That changes things you should be more specific then why are you so freaked out about this, is your relationship so frail that it will break from him sticking his dick on a different chick? then why worry

[Nikkirenee26]

Of course it's not over I would never leave him for something I started. But yea, you're right, I shouldn't worry about it so much.

[alonzoslade]

Yea you are a big hypocrite. Shut up and live with it.

[Nikkirenee26]

Kinda like a slap in the face, but you're right lol

[alonzoslade]

Men can't even enjoy their fantasies without women being hypocritical

[Nikkirenee26]

I agreed with you, no need to keep going on.

[alonzoslade]

You should apologize to your boyfriend for yelling at him then

[Nikkirenee26]

Of course I did!!! I told him how sorry I was.

[UglyGuyCaliStyle]

God girls like you are annoying

[Nikkirenee26]

And you can leave