Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How do I get over feeling ashamed of my sexual past?

I'm a good girl. I've always wanted to have one sexual partner and I did for the longest time. I was in a relationship for 4 years when I was 14-18. I then got to uni at 20 and met someone. It didn't work out. The next year I had a boyfriend that I had a bad feeling about and I guess sex was important to him so we did eventually start having sex about 8 months imto the relationship. 2 months after he claims he doesn't want a relationship and he knew how important sex was to me too. So now, I just regret my sexual history. I know it may not seem bad but I just feel bad that I let it happen, knowing how strongly I feel about this topic. I keep beating myself about it. Thinking about what my next boyfriend/husband will think about me having 3 men before him. How do I stop letting it get to me?
Updates:
+1 y
I've heard loads of men say all the time. If she's been with more than 3 then I can't be with her.. It's something that I have internalised... I think thats why...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I suggest, strongly, that you find a good therapist and work through this. That said, I feel like sexual history should absolutely be a don't ask, don't tell topic. It's none of his business. Each relationship stands alone. If you trust him, then go for it. I do, however, routinely ask a prospective partner to cooperate with me in getting an STD screen which I to will do and we'll exchange paper results. I've had a vasectomy so pregnancy isn't an issue and I hate condoms.

  • Thats not a lot of partners to be honest, maybe if your number was 300 I'd raise an eyebrow but even then, as long as your safe and healthy, I wouldn't think long on it. You made these guys wait a while so at least you were doing it when you felt it was right. Don't beat yourself up because most men don't care about the number.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl I've had more than 25 men smh. Its not your fault it didn't work out with those other three men!!! What matters is you know you're a good girl. Thats all you need to care about. Hope this helped you. Xxxo

    • You're still going to be loved.

    • One day you're going to find a man who doesn't care about your past. Look at me I'm engaged. My fiance doesn't care probably cause he has no room to judge.

    • Thank you so much. You're so kind&you deserve your guy. Thats so nice that you're engaged.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 8

  • 3 men is barely anything, don't worry.

  • You didn't sleep around left and right. You did it in relationships that just didn't work out. You're all fine. If anything, you're actually in a somewhat better position than a virgin woman, you have experience but it's also the "right kind" of experience.

  • You had three sexual partners (which isn't that many) and all of them were within a relationship, and you are ashamed?

    Ask anyone. Look at my other opinions. I'm one of the most strict guys when it comes to sluts and dating, on this site; and even -I- would still date you if i liked you enough.

    Honestly, if you have MY approval, it shouldn't be difficult to get any other guy's approval.

  • I don't think it's anything to worry about

    • Its funny because my friends say to me "wow you're lucky" But its really a personal thing. Some people feel bad about kissing a guy or having sex before marriage. I just feel ashamed that I have been with 3 men. Two of which were a waste of time.

    • It's a learning experience

  • 3 is pretty low nowadays plus none of them were one night stands. Most girls are way more promiscuous than you are. I'd honestly be surprised and thrilled if I met a girl who only had 3 partners.

  • Your next boyfriend or husband will appreciate you know what to do when he gets you to bed but doesn't need to hear about yoru past lovers. If he judges you on having been with 3 guys and makes you feel bad , he's not the one. In my experience, I'll assume any girl I'm attracted to was also atractive to others before me but I won't ask questions about her sexual past, that's bad form and shows his insecurity.

  • Three at your age is next to nothing.
    Don't worry about it. :)

  • Live and learn. i regret one with one of my ex's. Just know you are a better person than them. Move on is all I've got.

  • You are deffenetly a good girl with self-respect.

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