Why do guys slowly stop talking to me after meeting me?

[Anonymous]

I've met about 5 guys in person from dating apps. One of them I'm facebook friends with but we dont talk. He took me out on a date one time and then told me via text that he wanted to get his hand underneath my dress. No second date. The second one that I met in person expressed to me that he wanted to take my virginity and I said no and then he didn't pursue me. The third one I hung out with and we got carried away and had sex but I dont thinl I will be seeing him again. The fourth one watched a movie with me and then when he left he texted me and asked if I wanted him to sleep with me! I said I prefer to get to know you first before we go that far. He said okay but then I never heard back from him, he completely ignored me. The next guy I met seemed to like me because he texted me constantly for 2 1/2 weeks and even called me his gf! But evertime we'd try to see eachother again, something would come up and he wouldn't make it! Then out of no where, he broke up with me. I was really sad. The last guy I just met, I hooked up with and I don't know if I will hear from him again because he's not texting me. Why is this the pattern? No guy likes me! Im staying away from online dating until I get my confidence back. I feel like it's because I'm unattractive. But guys wouldn't be kissing me and having sex with me if they weren't attracted to me. At least I hope not. Why can't guys just remain friends with me? Why do they have to ignore me? How do I handle this? I feel like every guy I meet from an online dating site, I'll only see one time. Guys only want to have sex with me, they're not interested me romantically? Why is this?

[Bad2DaBone]

I think you were headed the right direction when you said you needed to get to know someone before sleeping with them. That is a good policy to have. I have never done the online dating thing, but in my opinion it seems like a lot of guys would rather go the dating site route because they can basically choose from a menu instead of going out in the real world and putting the effort in to meet new people and have a raport with them. I think the guys you have met so far are proof of what Im talking about. Because they were going to have to work for it (actually have some kind of a relationship before you were going to put out) they clearly did not want to invest the time and effort. you dont need guys like that in your life. I have no idea what you look like but I'd be willing to bet there are millions of guys who would like to get to know you. Hang in there and just get out there and meet people.

[schnipdip]

I don't know... Maybe it's because it's online dating. It could also be you. And it is funny how you kind of contradict yourself. You said you dont give yourself away so easily , yet the third guy you didn't have a problem with it.

Seems like you're stuck. Personally I don't like used goods. So that is an instant no. Probably the same thing for a lot of other guys you have met.

It also seems like you go for the "douche bag" type of guy. That would be one of your problems.

[Asker]

If it's me, I wish I knew what I was doing wrong. You don't like used goods? So guys can go around having sex, but when a girl has sex with a guy, she is a used good? I went into this online dating thing vowing that I wouldn't have sex with any guy without really knowing them. But sex happens. Too bad. I'm not ashamed for sleeping with a guy. I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong that these guys aren't speaking to me

[schnipdip]

yeah, except not every guy does... no one said it was okay for guys to do that. Those are the guys you keep encountering. I like to think that by holding back natural urges for your future partner you are giving them respect. It will make everything more meaningful because you are literally giving yourself to them and only them. Saving yourself has a lot more benefits than not saving yourself for someone. If you are serious about finding a guy, which it doesn't seem like it, then you need to find a guy who respects you and not a guy who wants to use you. By use I mean sex. You can tell when they say "send me nudes" or have sex within the first few dates and you guys aren't even in a relationship with each other for a longer period of time. To me, if I saw you I would say you have poor judgement. Therefore I wouldn't really want to pursue you because you seem to go out with anyone who shows any interest in you what-so-ever. I'm looking for a woman who respects her mind and her body.

[Anonymous]

I’m the same way. People will be sexual with me but never take the next step and be romantic with me either. I do know that sleeping with a guy on day one is an instant loss of anything to happen in the future and if anything does it’ll remain strictly sexual. Any challenge there was is now gone and they’re bored is what I think lol. I am interested in seeing how the guys respond to this because honestly I think it’s just the 21st century and all of the technology and online options for men they don’t want to lose all of their options. I may not have been much help but just know there are others in your same boat 😭😢

[Sarahplus2]

It's online dating. Some guys, as you experienced, are only interested in sex. I would keep meeting guys but in your mind come up with some boundaries. Might have to run through the barrel till you meet someone nice.