He either was with someone before who enjoyed it, or he is into it... but if you have told him you don't like it, he should respect that. It's a bit of a red flag to me that instead of talking about it or agreeing to not do it, he accused you of not trusting him. That seems manipulative/controlling to me...
Sex should be something that makes you both feel good, and anything that happens during sex should be agreed upon and wanted by both people. It's OK to tentatively try something new, but once you said you don't like it, he should have stopped doing it for the rest of that session and then had a discussion with you about it so you could understand one anothers perspectives on it.
Never hard of a guy doing that before. Nor have any of the guys I've been with done that.
I don't blame you for being freaked out by it. Since his hand is here. Doesn't matter if you trust him or not. If your not used to that kind of thing your going to freak out.
Did you straight up said "You trust him just your not used to having a hand around your throat and it's freaking you out."
That or say,"Why do you have to have your hand around my throat like your going to joke me?" Then to his reply on "why do you not trust him." Reply with,'What if I don't trust your hand being around my throat?" "If I trust you will it make you stop?" "or will you keep doing it and make me start to hate having sex with you?"
did you tell him to do that? if you didn't then you've got to tell him you don't like it! don't let him do things to you that you don't want him to. if he gets offended, then ask him why does he need to question you? if you don't like it then you don't like it.
It's a dominant thing. Nothing wrong with him doing it other than you don't like it which he should respect. You just gotta explain it to him just like you explained it here. It's not about trust, it's about "you don't like it, it's uncomfortable, you don't like the way it feels. It's that simple, just like he wouldn't like it if you kept sticking your finger up his nose while you were fucking him. It's not because he doesn't trust you, it's just not something he would enjoy. No need to bring trust into the discussion cause that's not what it is about.
Only a douchbag does that kind of thing.
I personally believe that needing to cause a female physical pain or discomfort during sex just so I can get a reaction out of her, is proof you have zero sexual skills.
either that or you have a fucked up psychotic mentality and get off on seeing women in pain.
If you have a guy who does it... you need to get away from him for your safety. Especially if it's "natural" for him.
But he treats me very well otherwise
I agree with the opinionator
Regardless of who he treats you otherwise, he has abusive tendencies.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I've never had a guy grab my neck during sex, but if he did something I didn't like I would insist that he stop. It has nothing to do with me not trusting him, it has to do with comfort level. He should understand.
Its a dominant thing. and I love it. it really does have to do with trust. all kinky stuff does. he wants you to trust and submit to him.
Yup, pretty much. Trust builds intimacy. If you don’t like it either tell him or give it time to see if it grows on you.
It's fun to do. He's a dominant guy; He wants to dominate you.
Why aren't you open to it, exactly? Why does it make you feel uncomfortable when you know he isn't going to hurt you and you aren't even being choked?
It's just not comfortable to me. i feel like I can't move and I get stiff and scared. I know he isn't gonna do anything but his hands are huge, it makes me nervous. Sex itself still makes me nervous, this is just too much for now
I don't normally say things like this, but I guess he should know a bit better than to jump the gun and grab a virgin's throat. I have to ask, though, when you guys are having sex, does he not pin you against the bed in missionary position (I'm assuming that's all you'll allow)?
We've done spooning as well And what exactly do you consider pinning down? He is on top of me if that is what you mean
I don't think thats a thing guys normally do, right?
I don't know
it is a dom thing..
Ignore his trust comment
Whether or not you trust him has nothing to do with you not liking his had place on your neck.
Don't fall for that argument.
Dominance... or your neck is really soft and he can't help but grab it. Lol idfk
It's just a thing some people have. Maybe he's had experiences with girls who usually are into that type of stuff, so he expects it.
He should be understanding if that's making you uncomfortable though.
but I told him I don't like it. Maybe at some point but everything is just too new now
Tell him straight up you're uncomfortable with him doing that
And that no means no
To me this is a disrespectful and demeaning act to put you hand around a womans throat during sex. In todays date rape culture its considered normal to do demeaning things to women during sex. Unfortunately women are brainwashed to think this is normal.
Similar to the media push to make women question themselves because they do not enjoy anal sex.
It's a Dom thing really I have even asked my man to chock me during sex which in all reality is pretty normal but if u don't like it the tell him not to do it but u should trust your man enough to know he wouldn't hurt u
i do trust him, its not about that
OK well what's wrong did he scare u
Some guys do it because they love, and some women love it to. But if you tell i him to stop, he should listen. Just talk to him about it, it's not just about trust, maybe it's just not your thing.
Because it's sexy, hot and a turn on.
Maybe a turn on for him, for me not at all.
Establishes dominance. He just wants to be control. If he wanted to choke you to death he would of already done that by now...
i know but its just too much for me right now
Oh ok then tell him to take it easy for now, because it's a little overwhelming. You just wanna have good ol fashion vanilla sex, but later on you'll be more receptive to the idea and you'll come around
it means he is really dom and its like a sign of dom. Some girls like when their throat is grabbed during sex so he might think all do.
i know but its just too much for me right now
just tell him that you are not into it
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