My boyfriend posted a picture with another girl? How should I feel?

My boyfriend just recently switched schools for football. We are both in 11th grade and have been dating for almost 6 months. Although we have been "talking" for around a year and a half. Last night he told me his friend wanted him to post a picture of them two and asked if I would get mad. I said i wouldn't like it. later that night he STILL posted it and i had no idea it was going to be this suggestive. his arm was around her waist and her arm was on his chest. we agrued about it but he promised me they were nothing more than friends and that she has a boyfriend also. he even sent me the screenshot of her saying they were just friends and said i can talk to her myself if i wanted. I do believe that they are friends but im scared of what it can turn into as we started off as friends as well. Im also scared of all the other "friends" he's going to make at his new school. Should i be mad? Should i be weary of the situation? Someone help!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sounds like you need to get him this: www.amazon.com/.../ref=pd_sim_121_10

    That way, if a girl ever tries anything with him: (1) his penis will be dirty and smelly, and (2) she'll be like, "WTF is that?" to which he will have to say, "Oh, yeah, that. Well, you see, that's the symbol of my castration, and my girlfriend is actually holding onto my masculinity and balls right now. So, we'll have to call her up and get her permission first before we can do anything."

    Of course I'm not telling you to be that kind of girl - physically.

    Just be that kind of girl emotionally. Don't physically castrate him, just emotionally castrate him. C'mon girl, learn how to work it. Pull out those guilt-trip and shame tactics, jump on that moral high horse, and start lecturing him about what is "correct and good" behavior, and what is "incorrect and bad" behavior, until you mold him into the perfect man : )

    Look, stop being insecure #1

    #2 - stop hating on him and other girls. Other girls will always be there. You can't bottle him up, chain him alone in some island or room in your basement, and make him "artificially" prefer being with you compared to his alternative options.

    #3 - you want to stop feeling insecure? Work on yourself. Go to the gym, diet, take better care of yourself, make him happy and satisfied as a guy. Be the kind of girl that other guys want to be with, and that he's proud to be with and brag to the other guys, "Yup, that's my girlfriend."

    Otherwise, what you're really just complaining about is why you can't just keep the guy that you want, without putting in the work into being the kind of girl he wants to be with, given the reality that other women are out there flirting, and teasing, and seducing, and working hard to be desirable and attractive to guys.

    Are you going to say the same thing to your employer later on in life? "Ugh! Why are you looking out there for better employees who do more work, want less compensation, or are just more qualified? Am I not good enough?" Yes, you are "good enough," but I'm not happy with "good enough," I want "better." And if you're going to kick your feet up on your desk and feel like "good enough" is acceptable, then I'm going to look for someone better. Otherwise, make me want to "prefer" being with "you" as opposed to considering someone better.

    That's how EVERYTHING is life is, except between parent and child.

    Don't complain about it, just learn to deal with it.

    • I wouldn't necessary call myself an insecure person but i will surely try your ideas. thanks for the adice!

    • Fuck, downvoted you by mistake.

    • G-dangit @Nuqood

  • I don't know where to start..

    The first thing is you need to stop being insecure about other women around your boyfriend. So long as his needs are met, he typically isn't going to venture off elsewhere seeking other companionship if you know what I mean. You have to realize that relationships are not unconditional; Relationships are conditional, and should be. If he mistreated you, called you names, put you down, didn't protect you, didn't bond emotionally with you, didn't 'make you love him', would you stay with him? Same goes for you, if you don't make sure his needs are met then why would he stay with you? The game is going down, love, and you can either accept and play or deny and get played.

    Second thing is you're getting mad at his masculinity, which isn't fair. You're comparing him to women and expect a woman's behaviour from a man. He's a man, and as a man he is naturally wanting to talk to as many women as he possibly can. That's our instinct, and that's something you're just going to have to accept because no man alive unless he's a loser is going to steer clear of women.

    Lastly, what you're getting distraught over is exactly what attracted you to him in the first place. All the skills he acquired to get you didn't just fall out of the sky that day, they were honed by doing exactly what he's doing. If he stopped being what you fell for initially, you would stop being attracted to him. This is a very interesting paradox of women.. they like something but expect it to discontinue when they get with them, then they slowly get disgusted with the guy they're with. Look at him as a fisherman catching fish (you're the fish), the minute you get caught, he releases you, but you jump back in the boat. After he stuffs you, you expect him to get rid of his boat and tackle box, meanwhile that's what got you in the first place.

    You need to get over yourself and stop your restrictive mentality before it ruins what you have. You're going to be the downfall of your own relationship if you get mad at him and feel entitled to a perfection that doesn't exist. He is a man, you are a woman, what you are feeling is the drive to compete, not the feeling of heartache. Become better, look better, behave better, and he won't leave.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's completely understandable. It's difficult to not be jealous in that situation. However, I think you're fine and don't need to worry at all. I'm sure that pic is harmless to him, that's why he doesn't see the "bad" in it and how bad he would feel if you did the same. Try not to worry that much, ok? Trust him :) Because if you do he will even love you more and won't feel like he can't have friends or you're controlling him. I know you're NOT, but if you get too jelous he will probably feel like he can't have his freedom anymore.

    • i agree. thanks for the advice

  • One of my friends was in a similar situation. He and I took a photo together after a hiking, his girlfriend became paranoid; her "friends" told her he was cheating on her. I even told her we were just friends and that I preferred girls over guys. She didn't believe until she saw me, the next day, kissing with my then girlfriend.
    I made her apologize in front of my friends, her boyfriend friends, and her own friends.

    If your boyfriend loves you, nothing won't happen. True love can withstand carnal temptations.

    • He always says he loves. thanks for the advice

  • My sister was in the exact situation. I told her that she can do the same with another guy if she wants (not to make him jealous, but just if she wants).
    But she didn't take my advice and fighted with him about this. And in the end he changed the picture and they made peace

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • as i always say in scenarios like this, give him a taste of his own medicine. Sure the photo seems harmless to him, but I wonder how he would feel seeing you in another guys arms?

    • My exact thoughts! thank you so much

  • Well he said she has a boyfriend so there's nothing to worry about.
    Don't be mad. He can post whatever he likes he doesn't need your permission.
    If he was bisexual would you be worried about every person he talks to?
    A guy can be just friends with a girl.

    • I know he doesn't need my permission. he surely can do whatever he wants in life but that doesn't mean I'm going to sit there and take it. i think its the fact that he asked me about it first then still posted it. I don't see what to point of bringing it up was if he was going to do it anyways. but thanks for your opinion!

  • Yes he did something you directly said u wouldn't like... and he straight up just ignored you! If he ignores ur simple wishes what makes u think he wouldn't do anything eles that u wouldn't like. I would be very conserned

    • thats the part i really dont like. he shouldn't have even asked me if he was going to do it anyways :/

    • Yes talk to him explain to him if he had asked u to jot do something he didn't like, but u still did it anyway. . how would he feel? He wouldn't like that so that please in the future to show more respect for the woman he is dating.

  • You should feel betrayed and disrespected.

    • I do...