To the younger guys on this site. Going after the hotties vs the plain Janes. Want some advice?

I'm a 41 year old male who joined this site a few months ago and so far I've read a lot of questions and takes on meeting women.. As someone who's been around and have dated more than my fair share I'd like to take the time to talk about one topic in particular. Most guys especially young men spend their youth chasing after the knockouts. While most of us can certainly appreciate a beautiful girl with a pretty face and perfect body, they aren't always what they're cracked up to be and needless to say the competition is outrageously stiff. In my experience the hotties are usually full of unreasonable expectations.. They're used to getting their way because they've been treated differently their whole lives or at least since they started growing boobs. They seldom offer to pay for anything and while I believe in old fashioned chivalry, occasionally its nice to find a girl who will offer to at least pay the tip after a meal. Perhaps you've also found that you can't start a conversation with one of them in public without some douche bag with a six inch boner cutting in and interrupting. And while I don't want to offend anyone here or make gross generalizations, a lof of knockouts seldom have a brain cell in their head. So here's my advice. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to pursue the average looking girl with glasses and a few extra pounds. She's smarter, nicer, and will appreciate you so much more. And if you make her feel wanted and good about herself, she will absolutely take care of you...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't know, sensei. In NYC, all the girls have ridiculously high standards. But then again, I've never really talked to them. Not sexually at least. It hurts, sensei. It hurts to be a virgin. I don't know what's wrong with me. I got decent total and free testosterone levels. But my brain acts like a pussy. My soul/mind is full of courage. I'm really not afraid of anything. But my brain locks up whenever I'm around girls. What I'm trying to say, sensei, is my mind is telling me to talk to girls, but my brain sends signals to my mouth to stfu and never talk to girls. If you've ever read Journey of Souls, sensei, it explains that the soul is eternal and that the human body was designed to test us in order for us to grow spiritually.

    • Sensei, your profile pic is something else. LOL.

    • @soberpiper

    • Thanks for the complement.. Glad I don't love in New York

  • Bravo... well said!

    Girls should take notice too... this isn't gender specific.

    • Its actually interesting that men are often labeled as "shallow" and judge women only on appearance. But you start a thread like the one I just did which encourages men to put aside looks and search for the qualities in less noticeable women, and everyone goes bat shit over it... Perhaps I've made a few beauty queens feel threatened?

    • Imagine the consequence if guys started approaching girls with actual values. The Queen Bee dies if you take away her drones (which is pretty much how guys act). With a shrunken dating pool, eventually they'd have to consider less attractive guys... maybe even end up with one who doesn't just want to fuck her over... horrific thought, right? But people have this uncanny urge to defy the wisdom of past generations... they have to figure it out on their own. Some may wisen up when they hit their mid 30's to early 40's, sitting alone going 'Where are all the good men/women'... but some will stay oblivious forever, always believing they can do better. But as with everything else - If you want better results, you have to make better choices. If you do as you always do, you'll get what you've always gotten.

    • ^^^ no words were ever more true my friend.

Most Helpful Girls

  • What a huge generalization. While some of it may be true, I've seen a lot of the points you raised, like not paying the bill on dates, apply more to average-looking girls than the dimes.

    It's propaganda like this that will leave the hotter girls lonelier than anyone else. Guys will never give them the time of day because of 'stiff competition', which is basically non-existent because 99% of the guys will go for the less risky second best.

    • This should be MHO

    • Completely agree. When 90% of the guys think it's pointless to approach a beautiful womab because of competition, there's actually less competition hahaha I don't like describing that as competition though, makes the girl look just like a mere trophy.

    • It wasn't a generalization. If you had read more carefully before jumping to emotional conclusions I used words like " most" and "usually" and " seldom".. I believe this to be fair. And I don't blame attractive women entirely for their behavior as society as taught them through the media that they are icons.. And that kicking their heels up to men who try their best to muster up every ounce of courage to talk to them is the way to get what they want or gain a position of power. Average looking women who aren't blessed with beauty genes struggle their whole lives to get noticed and when they finally are they are generally grateful for it.. I believe this to be fact in most instances..

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  • Oh my god thank you for calling out this problem I have some very pretty friends and when I am with them I am completely ignored when to be honest they aren't very nice to guys and have these high expectations and then complain they are single..

    • @ConfusedShyGirl You look pretty to me. Maybe those guys were blind.

    • I'm not sure maybe too small or too skinny I just know I don't get the same attention 😂

    • @ConfusedShyGirl No, you look great. I really don't see any flaws. You're being to hard on yourself.

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  • so you're saying go after someone you dont find attractive?

    • No.. Just don't always aim for the golden goose. Average women can be very pretty if a man just takes the time to look. And it also helps to look at inner beauty and not just the shape of their backside.

    • well go for someone you don't have to work to find attractive soz

    • @litost I'll take any girl, please.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 5
  • Agreed! the best girls are the natural girls, especially when they're hilarious!

  • A beautiful woman is just as good as an ugly or average woman, we shouldn't generalise or place stereotypes on someone based on their appearance.

    • Indeed. But a man shouldn't always follow the expectations of the media to chase after the queens and princesses when other options are available and ones whom he may find more palatable in the long run.

    • A man should also realise that even though he says he doesn't want to make 'gross generalisations', him saying that average women are 'nicer, smarter' and more appreciative than the beautiful girls - who you believe mostly aren't intelligent - he is doing exactly that and should know better.

    • A fair observation. But In my post I've also used words like " usually" and "most" and " seldom".. It wasn't exactly a blanket statement as some have already tried to paint it as, but merely a collection of 25-30 years of observations and direct experiences.

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  • This is going to sound a bit misogynistic of me but.. If i see a girl, who is very very pretty (What most guys would go ''omg she's so hot''), I would automatically dislike her.

  • You can't just say because a woman is averag and has some extra pounds in her, she's smarter and better partner, that makes absolutely no sense.
    A hot woman can be just as smart and just as great girlfriend as an average one.
    I actually recommend guys to go for the 10s, not those who wear lots of makeup to become a 10, but those simple girls that are absolute 10s, they're usually hiding a great personality behind that face.

    • Here's an exercise for ya friend. I'm assuming you're in college if you're 19.. Over the next month try asking out five of the most attractive women you can find, then go ask out five average looking ones who are a little less popular. document your experiences with all of them and ponder over your findings ;)

  • will be better as a mytake

    • True, but as long as people get the message.

  • I agree with the last two lines but the problem is the younger guy treat them nice because they want to bed them and then leave without a word

  • This isn't a question but more of you trying to act like figured something out about women. Well you didn't

    • Hahahahah.. Oh I've figured out quite a bit over the past 25 years my friend..:) not an expert, but just a man sharing his experiences as we all do on these forums. Take what you will from it and leave the rest. Cheers.

    • You are an xper 5 you know this was better as a MyTake... Anyway what you said applies to anyone really it just depends on their personality. You could meet an average looking girl that acts the way you described or one of the most beautiful women in the world who is also one of the sweetest.