Why do guys restrain you during sex?

Question

Not saying I don't like it but why do they hold your hands up so you can't move them etc.

steve66oh · Accepted Answer

I don't know - I've never done that, not once in 30 years and 50 partners... I even had one woman ask specifically for that, and in the heat of the moment, I forgot to do it. She said that for her, it was a turn-on to be "taken", a symbolic surrender to the guy. (I also think there was a bit of "you were calling the shots, so I'm not 'guilty' of being a horny female..." wrapped up in there, in the same way that a LOT of women who want to get laid, go get really drunk, so they can say later "Oh, I was really drunk... I'm not responsible".)

I think the inverse is going on for the guy - when he gets turned on by pinning you hands over your head (or restraining you in any way), your lack of resistance is an affirmation that you desire him (men live in a sexual desert - we don't fend off 3500 invitations for sex EACH YEAR during our 20's.. we don't fend off ANY... the two dozen overt expressions of sexual interest that we might get in our LIFETIME, are always cherished and usually accepted. ANY affirmation of your desire is a powerful turn-on.) The other reason a guy might get turned on by pinning your hands, is that in his brain (some guys are wired this way), sex is less about the physical feeling of the act, and more about the mental feeling of power. THESE are the guys to avoid in your life - the way to tell is to struggle a bit - if he refuses to let go, if he pins you tighter, if he grins really big and says "Yeah, baby, I DARE ya to try to get away now...", he is potentially dangerous, he might be the one who says "No" when you say "STOP!".

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

They are acting their dominance. Does it turn you on? Or off? What would you like him to do? Any kinks?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You're with aggressive tools. I find guys who are more aggressive in bed are often overcompensating for lack of skill.

XxbitemeXx · Accepted Answer

Its an animal thing i think. Guys like to be in control and feel like they're "taking it"

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

It's a primal sign of dominance. You're his woman, no one else's.

Cmasterson · Answer

Not all, but because they like to be dominant. x

summiter · Answer

I don't restrain any girl. If a guy does it to you and you don't like it tell him. Or better yet try some new positions with you on top!

genericname85 · Answer

i think most guys do it, because they think girls will like it. girls seem to like dominant behavior a lot ( at least most on gag do ).

codyccc · Answer

It's a dominantion thing although if your really into chains work better

Northernguy · Answer

Not really into bondage or rape fantasizing can't say why it's a turn on. I know for some guys fantasize about holding her down and impregnating.

WhaChaChaKing · Answer

They do that? I would absolutely hate that.

jakeofalltrades · Answer

its a dominance thing

Anonymous · Answer

Well if we look from a biological point, humans are animals. Now male animals, when it's time to make love, find a female and restrain her in any way they can so she won't run away during the thing. Yeah I believe we got that from animals.