Why do guys look down on promiscuous women?

[cyndyrene]

Every since I discovered what sex is and the pleasures that come from having sex, I've always been fascinated with it. And even more fascinating is the backlash, I get from being open and curious about my sexuality. Guys obviously find me attractive. And I don't believe in playing coy and acting like I don't want the 'D'. So most of my relationships have started with sex on the first date, and I use that word relationship loosely. After the excitment wears off, I find myself bored ready for the next conquest, or the guy just stops texting me and I have no choice but to move on. I often see post about how you're suppose to make a guy chase it and if not you're a whore basically. And I find that odd. Guys why don't you guys like woman who are promiscuous? Is it egos? Or is it society? I don't judge men who sleep around, and that's encouraged. yet when a woman does it she loose value. Why is that? Why should I be in control of all the hormones in my body urging me to 'mate' yet a guy doesn't have to? Why?

[MarieLovesIt]

I have an oral obsession that was born in High School. I loved it from the first time I did it and truth be told, I did it a lot in High school. So much so that I did get a reputation. But in all honesty, I just didn't care what others thought. There were snide and cutting remarks whispered about me, but I don't know, I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and lived my life. As I grew older, I realized those judgmental people are the same kind of people I don't like today. Always their nose in others business, always judging, always feeling superior... and guess what... I still don't care. They don't mean anything in my life. I know peer pressure can destroy some people... but i just never allowed it entry into my head. The heck with them.

[cyndyrene]

I'm the same way. I started having sex in high school, but due to slut shamming and peer pressure I stopped for 5 years, and just recently got back to it. The slut shamming doesn't bother Mr, the lack of respect does. Men assume woman who engage in casual sex don't respect themselves or deserve respect is absurd.

[BillieJean1070]

High school is a tough time being sexual... it got much better while in college.

[nymous123]

exactly just because someone engages in something casually doesn't mean they dont deserve respect from men on a whole

[kaylaS91]

I've never heard a guy talking down to or poorly about a woman who dressed/behaved in a promiscuous manner?
Tbqh, slut-shaming seems to be strictly girl on girl. Why would a guy not like a girl who is eager to engage in sex, or just show a little more skin?

[cyndyrene]

By looking down I mean pursue her for a relationship and hold her to this same esteem as say a virgin?

[kaylaS91]

If you sleep with the guy on the first date though, you can't really say he pursues you for a relationship just yet. The first few dates are basically just getting to know what the person is all about, how compatible you guys could truly be on a platonic level. To see if a good foundation is there to build upon for a potential relationship in the future. If you have sex fairly early on in a 'relationship', before you've dtr, you're basically establishing that you're someone he can have sex with. As much as many girls may hate it, that's how it is. Works both ways, for both guys and girls. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk or free?

[cyndyrene]

What you're implying is that men only get into relationships strictly for sex. I'm not saying your wrong or right, just what it implies... It's an interesting pov...

[kaylaS91]

I don't see where I implied that? All I'm saying is that having sex is a strong desire felt by males and females alike. It's essentially the whole basis of marriage and relationships as a whole. Deny it all you want but without sex, what would differ between a s/o and a best friend? Nothing aside from anatomical differences. Having said that, if you have sex with a guy before you even get to know each other, what benefits would he see in getting to know you as a person, unless you want to be FWB?

[TheDevilInside]

Because as females, we only have a limited number of eggs. So people just think that as females we should be more selective about whose sperm we let in. Just from the biological point of view.

[AleDeEurope]

Hmm why do girls look down on virgin men? It's society's double standard: men gotta have lots of sex, if not, they're not good. Women gotta be virgins or have had little sex, if not, they're not good.
I don't look down on promiscuous women, if they wanna have lots of sex with random men, go ahead, but I'm not getting in a relationship with her, cause that's not the type of women I want to be with.
Am I looking down on them? No, like I said, I don't care what they do, but it's my preference to not want to be with a woman that has slept with half the city.

[cyndyrene]

Why?

[AleDeEurope]

Because it's not the type of morals I want in a girl. I'm not saying she has to be a virgin, not at all, but not sleep around with every guy that calls her cute. How do I know I'm not just another number to her? You even said it yourself "After the excitment wears off, I find myself bored ready for the next conquest" that is why I don't want a girl that sleeps with a new guy each weekend, it's not my type of girl. I have nothing against them, just not someone I wanna be with.

[cyndyrene]

I see. That works both ways I guess. I'm just getting back into dating so I'm ready for the emotional part and all that gushy stuff. But you bring up a lot of good points, things I need to consider moveing forward. Thanks :)

[AleDeEurope]

Well, good luck out there in the dating world, but I recommend you to stop sleeping around if what you want is a relationship, cause if you do, guys will take that as a "she doesn't want a relationship" and you won't attract the guys that want one.

[cyndyrene]

Oops, I meant to say not ready for all that just yet.

[ValleyofDrakes]

Because we went a woman who WE decide how long we want to be with. If you get to choose... well.. that's not really worth having. That is unless of course you're something casual. Then there's no problem. Unless you want to end the frequency of "being casual". That's still a no-no. We must be in control. Otherwise we just move on to someone who will do what we want.

[cyndyrene]

Hmmmm.. interesting. So it's more so a control thingy?

[ValleyofDrakes]

Well yeah. It the same reason men don't like successful women. Not that they don't want them to be successful, but they want to be in control, a successful or stong-willed woman who is more like a man (in such a way where she also wants to be in control of how things go) it feels very odd. It like... so you can hang out with me but you can just decide when you're done with me? A woman gets to do that... TO ME? Yeah... I'm just not gonna allow that. I realize there's a double standard there, but control is more of a man thing, you know.

[cyndyrene]

Sheesh. And for women that's a scary thing. At least for me. The idea that a man can choose to walk away with little to no regards of how the other person will take it, is SCARY. And giving up that control and fear is hard. Makes me never want to commit.

[ValleyofDrakes]

That's control. Deciding what you want to do when you want to do it. When you give someone else power, usually it ends up leaving you very unfavored. So you might as well be the one in control rather than the one being controlled. And if it's obvious to you that you're going to BE controlled. Why would you want to be a part of that?

[cyndyrene]

Interesting. Valid points my friend. I've been meaning to leave my how ways behind me, you have given me much to think about. Thank you :)

[ValleyofDrakes]

You're quite welcome.

[MadeInAmerica]

It is an old-school double standard. With the common belief that it is easier for a women to get dick then a man to pussy. I believe in man whores too but they don't seem dismissed by women themselves as women are with men for being "vastly experience".

[lifeis4living]

Guys get a pat on the back, while women get labelled a slut. Not right, but that's messed up society. If you try and sleep with every guy in a club or wherever you are, then I will not want a relationship with you. But if it's just one, now n again I would if I liked you. If you wanna sleep around, that's your choice, just as long as you inform the guy, you just want fun.

[Samalaeb]

That way you're easy, don't bang him on the first date and talk about it before and tease him and say no once or twice and mace him chase you.

[cyndyrene]

Lol, everything you suggested is the basis of my question; why? Why is it acceptable to play games and make him chase you instead of doing what you want. Girls want sex just as much as guys, but have to play innocent in order to get some respect. That's so crazy to me. I have to lead a guy on, pretend I care, just to get some sex. Absurd.

[Vesuvius87]

actually making a guy chase you so just you get respected (when a certain girl really wants sex) sounds like manipulation to me. I'm not into casual sex but that's because it's my own free will and I expect the same in return from a guy. I wouldn't be capable with a guy would easily have a ONS but operates under that double standard.

[Vesuvius87]

compatible

[tzdc21]

Because you're a woman and sex comes easy to you. A guy, not so much. Most guys struggle just to get ONE, so if he can do it multiple times, he's gonna be respected for it BECAUSE it's so hard. But for women it's easy to do, and people don't respect things that come easy.

[Dargil]

Because they are careless, unselective and likely have low self esteem.

[Bards]

Because people are fucked up.

[Watermelonoma]

on the flip side, men get chastised for being a virgin, and it gets worse the longer your virginity lasts. It's just one of societies many double standards set to keep women in place, and men in control

[joe264]

I think that are just stereotypes, we both can have sex with every one you want to, but the problem is when you have feel somthing more for some person or you want to have something more. I would not like to have a relationship with a girl that could sheat at me. In this case i would prefer to fuck and nothing more. I have sense of belonging.

[cyndyrene]

A girl who keeps her legs close is just as likely to cheat you. Fyi.

[jacquesvol]

They want to keep promiscuity a male prerogative.

Standards are good, agreed?
Then double standards must be twice as good. Simple math.
And double standards with a religious element are even better, no?
Let
standards be S
a deity be G
Then:
2S+G>S
Very simple

[Sarcasm=OFF]

[SamuelB]

I've thought about it a lot and here's what I think it is. So people want a relationship with someone who is going to make them feel special in a way; they want someone that views them as better than all the other guys. So when a girl sleeps with a lot of guys, all of a sudden the new guy she dates doesn't feel so special. He's going to be thinking "so what? She sleeps with everyone."

On the other hand, if you only sleep with guys you really like after dating a little bit first, the guy is going to think "Wow, she must really like me, she doesn't sleep with just anyone."

At least that's how I feel when I think about it. I can't speak for all men.

[cyndyrene]

Interesting, it makes me wonder if the girl who quietly sleeps around gets treated the same. Because how would prospective guy know she sleeps around unless she tells him she does. And you can't rely on he said she said. How would they know she's a hoe?

[RedThread]

I don't. I think people should express themselves in any way they desire as long as they aren't hurting other people. If you enjoy casual sex then go for it. I wouldn't judge you for it or anyone else for that matter.

Truth is women enjoy sex just like men do so it is only natural that they desire it just like men do.

[Gommers]

If they sleep with anything, what's the value in catching them? It's a primal thing.

[cyndyrene]

Because they choose you. That's the value.

[Gommers]

Keep rationalizing it to yourself. Men don't find women who have no loyalty attractive.

[cyndyrene]

If I were to find a guy that I connected with, and had chemistry with, committing wouldn't be a probably. But men are just as disloyal as women, and expect loyalty and what not without giving any in return. But thanks for your opinion.

[Gommers]

Some men are just as disloyal as some women; don't group all people in the same way.

[cyndyrene]

That's what I said. I just said that. We focus so much on the how many people someone sleeps with and never address the why. The why is what enthralls me. I found your opnion to be pretty interesting and appreciate you're input. Thank you :)

[Marstalk]

Well depending on who you talk to. I think everybody should be in control just out of respect. But some think guys can not. Honest what you have written sounds like some who does not want commitment. Some guys want that from a girl.

[Marstalk]

^someone

[Tomsta]

There's a difference between a girl who loves sex and a girl who sleeps with anything that moves

I class a 'slut' as someone who from the legal age has slept with pretty much any guy that talks to her. A girl who loves sex, might have countless partners but doesn't do it with every day she crosses

[KidanisCortes]

Well she is labeled as overused and loose and people think they might get STD and where I come from noone bats an eye if a girl is promiscuous tho

[dudegrt09]

I love promiscuous women... I mean I don't want her to remain promiscuous when she's in a relation with me, but her having some sexual experience is a plus I guess

[AveragDude79]

I'm all for promiscuous women! More power to you. Enjoy sex!

[Kelfuma]

I don't look down on promiscuous women. Everyone is free to do whatever they wish.

[Anonymous]

Well, find a guy like you and join a swingers club.

[cyndyrene]

Next time answer the question.

[Anonymous]

Men who are looking to get laid will find that attractive.

Men who want to settle down, get married, and have kids... well, they will think twice before marrying someone like that.

Higher partner count = more chance of divorce.

[cyndyrene]

Really? I feel like if I was a virgin when I got married, and had only been with one person. I would be more curious. I don't know, this is all very interesting.

[Opinion Owner]

People bond strongest with their first sexual partner (speaking purely from a scientific standpoint). The chemical reaction is strong. The more different partners one has, the weaker the chemistry is with each subsequent partner. This isn't a popular opinion, but there are studies that back it up.