Sexual Relationships
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My girlfriend is 18 and has slept with 16 guys, I can't help but thinking she's a slut?

Im 20 I've slept with 11 girls, in all honesty i could have slept with a lot more but i dont like doing it with people i have no connection with. she's 18 and she's slept with 16 guys, now i dont like that... However 11 of these 16 she slept with when she was depressed from the age of 16 to 17, she said she wanted someone to care about her and let guys use her for sex, she didn't even want to do it while she was letting them but she felt so bad about herself she wanted to punish herself by being treated like this. The remainder where people she was comfortable having sex with... Over the ages of 15 to 18 which is a more acceptable number of 5. I've slept with 11 and im 20 which is a lot from where i am... The truth is i can't help thinking she's a slut, i see her as so innocent and cute and she just isn't is she... I love her to bits and know i need to get over being judgmental about her but i can't... It bugs me that my girl is an 18 yr old that has had 16 dicks inside her and been used for sex a lot by guys that dont give a shit about her and just want to use her. That shouldn't matter though right? Its about the now and i know she loves me more than she has anybody before, she says im the best thing that has happened to her, she broke down when i reacted to what happened in her past. I know for sure she would never cheat on me but i can't get over the fact she has slept with so many... I just think about it and see her as dirty as pathetic letting dickheads use her for sex, i need to get over it and accept her past because she is not the person she used to be anymore... How do i get over this?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I can completely understand why you feel the way you do. However, I am going to speak to you from her shoes, because I have been there. I lost my virginity when I was 15 and I was madly in love with the guy I lost it to. He used me. Abused me mentally. And at the time, I honestly thought he loved me. It didn't take long to find out that it wasn't my love keeping him around. It was the sex. I gave this guy everything I had. And in order to keep him around, where I loved him dearly and didn't want him to leave, I started having sex with him more and more. Most of the time I didn't even enjoy it but I enjoyed having him with me. He eventually left me for an older woman that he had been cheating on me with against my knowledge.
    I feel into a deep depression and wanted to feel loved and cared for. But every single guy that I had taken an interest in only showed their affection toward me through sex. So I slept with all of them. That was the only way I felt loved, even if it was just for a moment. I would lay in bed and feel disgusted with myself, just to do it all over again the next day against my better judgement. And by the time I was 17, I had slept with 12 people. It wasn't until that point that I wanted to stop what I was doing because I knew that I was kind of destroying any healthy relationship I would have in the future. But breaking that sort of habit is harder than you think. A guy I had known since I was 9 asked me to go have a few beers with him out back from my house so I did. He took advantage of me, even though I tried pushing him off me at first. He continued, so I stopped resisting. I got pregnant, and from there on out I vowed to change my ways. This man has never been a part of our sons life. In fact he wants to sign off all rights.
    However, I met a man when I was 2 months pregnant and fell head over heels for him. I didn't have sex with him at first. In fact, I waited nearly a year. And I am still with this man, 5 years later. We now have two children (he took in my son as his own and has plans of adopting him). My old lifestyle is something that I can never get rid of but I have bettered myself for my children and for this man who loved me throughout my weak spots. I would never dream of going back to the way I was. I am far past it.
    With that said, I understand why you would think twice about your girlfriend. My boyfriend did too, which is 100% understandable. But if you love her, believe in her to be better. It helps so much. Good luck!

    • This is so comparable, she doesn't talk about it so comfortably as you do she is still ashamed of her past. It sounds like her story, her first boyfriend used and cheated on her and she slept around since then as she felt worthless and just wanted to feel like somone cared... But 2 months before we met she cheated on her ex, she didn't love him she was using him to feel loved as he was mad for her. She cheated on him had a one night stand and then exchnaged pics with a previous other ex that raped her while she was unconcious ( that being the reason she ended it) this was all a few months before we where together, i wonder if she had truly changed from how she was years ago when she was depressed then why would she exchange pics with a guy who raped her while unconcious? I dont know what to do i want to accept her i want to save her and change her, make her feel like she's worth something i also dont want to be with someone with such a lack of self respect

  • Look man, if you're gonna make things work in this relationship with this girl, you need to look past this and get over all those other partners. You two are together now and that's what matters. And, unless you think it's hurting either of your immediate physical, emotional or sexual health, why would you care in the first place? Does it really matter to you how many other guys she's slept with when you're with her in the now? Hakuna Matata- What's in the past is in the past, and you should focus on being with her for the reasons you're with her, rather than the reasons you shouldn't be with her.
    And if you two love each other this much, isn't that what matters? When you two are together, what you feel then is what matters, not what either of you felt however long ago when she was used. She opened up to you. She trusted you enough to tell you that about her, and clearly she trusts you enough to stay with you and love you.

    • Yea the problem is my girl has had 16 dicks in her and she is 18 i think she is slut and i deserve better, how do i get over that?

    • If you think you deserve better than her, then you think what you think. If that's honestly and truly how you feel, then you probably won't be okay being with her. If you honestly think you're superior to this girl, then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship. Relationships are supposed to be about give and take, and also communication. If you think you can do better than her and your ego is big enough to leave her over it, go ahead. The way you put it, though, makes it sound like you feel like she's a different person after all this. The thing is, however, that she was that person before you fell in love with her. She was always that person. That girl you keep referring to as a "slut" (Which is a very rude term to use in reference to a woman in the first place) was the same girl you fell in love with. You didn't see her past when you fell for her, but you still did. That means you must have true feelings for her, so don't leave her because of one (or 18 or however many) details.

    • Yes i do have true feelings for her thats the point i have fallen for her and i wouldn't have if i knew, she acts sassy as if she dosnt take sht from guys, she has self respect, she is independant when she's not she none of that her past is recent it is before we met i dont know what to do

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  • Really!! you had 11 and she had 16 what's the difference because I'm kinda O. o
    Do you love her or not?
    If you do, you wouldn't hurt her that way, she changed because she knew how pathetic her situation was, she already did
    what are you doing now? making her feel even worse about herself
    Look, It's just as simple as this, If you can't get over it then be number 17 and just let her be
    If you really care about her, you wouldn't have said so, it's not annoying that all those guys used her as you say, if it's this way, you'd be desperate to draw a smile on her face just to make it up to her
    instead, you're just jealous about it
    If you know so well she changed and she would never cheat on you, remind me who's the problem !!!
    Think straight please

    • If you read the question you would know im the problem. Its not jelousy its judgement, i have a lot of self respect and integrity, she didn't. I couldnt give a rats ass about all these little plebs she screwed, as every time we have sex she reminds me of how she's never had someone so good, 'how are you so good?' She says after cumming 8 times before im even close... Im not a jelous person, im just an extremely picky, intense lover who has been told on multiple ocassions i am an animal in bed. Because of this i feel i deserve better than an insecure little slut... However she isn't anymore, i need to get over myself but i just can't, so pls answer what is wrong with me...

    • Wrong, he can't nor does he have to be desperate to draw a smile on her face because of what other guys did to her no matter what female strategist told you that. The truth is she is running out of some dick and what goes around is coming back around, they now owe it to themselves to handle each other without jealousy and the loss off compassion. Shocked through the hart.

    • Paybacks are a bitch and she has him beat for sex partner count.

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  • I think you just have to take her for what she is right now. The past is the past. I would seriously ask her to get tested (and you should too). Her possible diseases are more concerning than how many guys she's slept with. They can affect your future. I think 16 men is a lot, but people are who they are right now, not who they were. She had her reasons for them at the time, and she may have been in a broken place. Just give her grace. Thank her for sharing that with you and move on with your relationship. If you truly can't get over this information about her, then get out of that relationship.

    • I completely agree but i can't stop it buggying me, making me think negatively and upsetting me that she isn't who i thought she was, what is wrong with me

    • Also she's been checked

    • Yeah ah well she used condoms and protection right, not the little white lie protection either

Most Helpful Guys

  • By learning that at the moment, its your dick that matters most to her.
    Make those moment last forever instead of being so doubtful about it all.

    Past will be past, it should be looked upon but never til' you form a stable
    bond with someone you love first. It's hard, but that's the best bet you have going.

    She was young and she just didn't know what to do to mend herself.

    You should let it slide bro. It'll work out for both of you if you just let her past go and enjoy the moments you have together.

  • Here's the deal. Sexual history is a don't ask, don't tell thing for me. If you can't just chalk it up to her living her previous life her way , then let her go. I suggest that you stop measuring her this way and accept her for the lovely woman standing in front of you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Time will help you get over this. I know it may seem horribly surprising to you to find that out but if you feel like this about it, then think about how much worse she feels about her past than you feel about it (because I'm sure she does). We can't change the past but we can change the future and it seems that she's with a good one right now :).

    • Thank you for the positive comment. I hope time does help it shocks me a lot, i bring it up as it bugs me but everytime i do she gets really upset she hates her past. She said, ' i didn't want to be honest with you because i knew what you would think, i dont want to be judged on my past because im nothing like that now. You mean so much to me and I've never loved someone so much and if you broke up with me because of what happened in my past i would want to die because for a bad stage in my life to ruin the best thing that could ever happen it would be such a big regret' I need to accept it i hope i do in time i really do because if not then i must end it i wish i was more accepting )=

    • Well it's just something you have to work on, we all have issues lol. Also there is proof that she's changed - she told you about it. I bet if we went back in time in our little time machine when she was doing those guys because she was depressed, I'm sure she wouldn't let you know about it then lol but today she did and it's because she loves you, she wants it off her chest so she can move on with you. Take some time and simply realize that she took a leap of faith and told you. She probably knew that there was a chance you'd reject her but she let you know anyways for the sake of being honest with you. Appreciate that

    • Yes, unfortunately lied saying 3 then said 7 then 9 then finally when i made her say it i was completely shocked with the number 16 so yeah i think ahe is a liar aswell, she's ashamed of her dirty past and is to scared to loose me to be honest, should i just end it?

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  • The past is the past. If you expect her loyalty now and she is giving you that then she is doing everything she can and she can't do more. That needs to be enough for you.

  • You are a man slut and she is a female super-slut. You are in no position to be judging her for her sexual history.

  • It's not like she can travel with the doctor and the TARDIS and unfuck those guys. If you can't accept that have some mercy and break with up with her for her sake

  • Just focus on what you love about her. Tbh do you truly like her? Because I think if you did you won't be judging her for her past. You wouldn't even care. You're her man and her hero start being that for her. Who cares how many guys she slept with. You slept with many people too. It doesn't matter of her past just focus on you two. Give her what she needed and love her. She needs it. Trust me.

    • Sweetie this is what i want to hear. She puts up a front and i know she is a bit insecure, i make her feel so special and she is mine she looks at me as the one. She needs me but i think her past is too much i deserve someone who hasn't made these mistakes because i make woman so happy and i know this attitude is wrong but i can't help it ):

    • Well, do what you think is best, but don't keep her any longer or use her. She deserves the best.

    • I think i may see her for longer and if something better comes along i will say i can't be with her because i can't accept her past And she is a slut and i deserve better, which honestly i do...

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  • Umm your just as much a slut. 11 is a lot for a 20 yr old.

    • 11 is a lot for anyone younger than 30...

  • You either accept her past or dump her. If you feel like this is something that's going to continue to eat at you then break up and find someone with a less colorful past.

    Its all about the pros and cons. If you think you can find someone better, do it. If not then stay.

    • Ofcouse i can find someone better wtf i wouldn't touch her with a barge pole if i knew she had slept with that many people when i met her. She lied to me 3 times on how many guys she had slept with and now 4 months down the line its 16, im madly in love with her now, so im juat going to wait until someone else comes along use her for what i want then dump her on the basis she's a lying little whore

  • She's not a slut unless you kind of are too. Grow up.

    • Are you saying its hypocritical of me to judge her like this? I have only slept with people i have a connection with, she has slept with guys who use her she's wanted the sex to stop but punished herself by letting them then broke down in tears afterwards... She is ashamed of her past and i am having a hard time accepting her

    • So, she was raped by a lot of guys - according to what you JUST wrote - yet you still call her a slut? Even though it made her cry afterward? Wtf?

    • @BigPunny she wasn't raped, she punished herself ahe let them and acted asif she enjoyed it only to hate herself for doing it afterwards, it was self destructive

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  • Here's how I look at it.

    It's not like she maxed out at 16. She could fuck as many guys as she wants, but stopped at 16.

    She could have fucked twice as many. But even then, you could still say "Well, it could be worse, she could have been with 40 guys."

    So if you look at it this way, no matter how many partners a girl has had, she's still not being the slut she could be.

    That's how I look at it lol.

  • That's nothing, don't worry or judge.

  • They just wanted acceptance so much she gave the pussy in exchange for being adorned. This is either a strategy to make you stay revolting at the guys who used her or she is telling the truth and really can't get a guy to stay with her, lol.

    • She didn't think she deserved love and would screw guys she didn't like and be self destructive it is all because of depression

    • Yeah I've removed depression so many times from people, I needed to go get a cleansing.

  • Dude if it bothers you that much then leave her. in a nutshell, who are YOU! to judge?

    • Pls you dont understand read this thread and you will understand its a dilemma its a problem and i am to judge because i am judging and for the right reasons,

    • No you're not. You're being an egotistical insecure boy

    • Whats insecure about anything i am saying? You dont understand what your saying read the thread

  • It doesn't sound like she's the same person now as she was then... she was in a bad place, by your description and used sex as a coping mechanism and hence made some bad choices... I don't think that makes her a slut at all

  • Wtf is this. I call spam

  • Well honestly you are both whores. I guess pregnancy, and AIDS don't mean shit to either of you. So you have a lot in common, but I understand if you can't get over 18 dicks I sure couldn't. Maybe this will help. ..

    https://youtu.be/tpQqH4H_SUQ

    • Yeah sixteen dicks is a fucking shit ton i can't deal with it

    • Man its a tough situation I don't know what I would do. If you love her, try and work it out and tell her how you feel. At so young that's just a lot of milage. Nobody said you had to marry her so use this as a learning experience.

    • Yeah bro, you know i can do what the fuck i want, at the end of the day i wouldn't be with her if i knew she had slept with 16 guys from the get go. I've never dated anyone this much younger than me, she lied how many people she had slept with and then i finally find out and im in love with her. I can do better i can find a self respecting girl who hasn't just let herself be used for sex, ill feel bad as she was depressed wen she made these mistakes. But who am i to give a fuck? What stupid bitch has that little self respect that she will essentially rape herself to make her feel shit about herself. Im just going to use her for now, see if things pick up and if not be completely honest and tell her that i deserve better than a lying little whore who doesn't value herself. I can find a cute sweet reapectful girl that has pride and integrity, i know i can. Its just a shame for her

  • Your dick has been in 11 different vaginas, so honestly, you have no right to criticize her.

    You are being a hypocrite. I'm not trying to be mean, just telling the truth.

  • i it really is a lot but try not to judge people.

  • LMAO are you fucking serious? If you think she's a slut move over and let a REAL man have her because you're OBLIVIOUSLY still a little boy PLUS a slut yourself. You're suppose to be her damn FUTURE not worry about her fucking past. She was going through a rough which isn't your business by the way. Gtf and GROW UP you judgmental pig

    • Yes i am a judgmental pig how so i atop

    • All I can say is ----> Put yourself in her shoes. Honestly since you're such a judgmental person (for the wrong reasons btw) I think there's no hope for you but I do hope to be proven wrong in this case

    • Ok so my girlfriend is 18 slept with 16 people, let herself be raped because she hates herself and then cried over it afterwards, she's like guys walk all over her, she has guys that she recently sleeps with casually they message her when im with her still she does not reply, she has an ex that raped her that she shares naked pictures with and has done before i was seeing her he sent her a picture of his penis while i was with her I am being extremely judgmental despite trying hard not to be ):

  • You're right, she is a slut... but so are you. You two whores deserve each other.

    • How am i a slut I've been sexually active for 6 years and I've had sex with 11 people she has had sex with 16 people and been sexual for 4 years

    • Lmao it's funny as hell that you don't consider your self a slut. Try to sugar coat it all you like, you're in denial.

    • Dude im happy with my past she is discuted and ashamed, so whilst i dont give a shit about you calling me a slut as i know im not, she would break down in tears if you called her a slut

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  • You are a slut too. You fucked 11 girls
    How are you any different from her? You are telling me you fell in love with 11 girls? I doubt it. Also she only slept with 5 more people than you did. If you think she is a slut then by your definition you are a slut too

    • No i was comfortable having sex with them i wanted to it felt right, its very different i was only in love with 4 of these girls

    • You ate a hypocrite Why you are you slut shaming her for the very thing you did? You still had sex with 11 girls. You both should get tested

    • There is no difference. You slept around too What about the other 7 girls you fucked?

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