Ashamed of My Body and boyfriend wants to see me naked?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 20yo virgin who is in a relationship with this fantastic guy. He's sweet, hilarious and horny af. A couple of nights ago we had the sex talk and he expressed the desire to have sex with me and I do really want to lose my virginity to him but in my last relationship my ex destroyed what little self respect I had. When I finally stripped down in front of my ex (first time being naked in front of a guy), he criticised my body and humiliated me and my worst fears came true. I cried for days on end and he ended the relationship soon after. All of my insecurities were confirmed and my worst nightmares came true. I have never felt so humiliated and ashamed of my body and my self confidence plummeted. I started wearing baggy clothing, thinking guys wouldn't me attracted to my physique and could never look myself in the mirror again. I am terrified that every guy I get with is going to act like my ex and I'm scared to take my clothes off infront my current boyfriend. My ex fooled me into thinking he was a nice guy but he turned out to be an ass****. Please help me :(

[justbanANNAz]

ok.

u need to hold up. just because ur man wants to have sex with u, doesn't mean u need to rush yourself. of course he'll want to have sex with u, he loves u.

however, if ur not in a place where ur comfortable in ur own skin, u definitely do NOT have to feel like u have to. a lot of guys are probably just like 'if he loves ur body that's all that matters' and i seriously dont agree. if it's MY body, then MY opinion should matter most.

take ur time. it will come eventually. if youd like to feel more comfortable u can work on ur body in the meantime and I'm sure you'll feel like a sexy beast when u finally get into that mindset.

you've worked hard to build up that self respect. dont lose it again. be careful lovely xx

[restore]

He's your ex for a reason :) Thank God he's gone. But how bad can it be? I mean you can get an idea of what someone looks like under their clothes, right?

Everyone is a little insecure about their body. Hearing that from him must have hurt a lot, I'm sure. But that shouldn't bring you down. My advice to you? Tell your boyfriend how you feel. He will want to make you feel confident if he really is as "fantastic" as you say.

[TrainwreckAdvice]

Your ex sounds like a prick. You can undress with a man without being on display to much. Let him feel your body under your clothes until your ready to go from there. He can get a decent idea what's beneath by that so just go from there. Most guys aren't bothered by imperfections. Sorry your first attempt was with such a shallow guy. They really aren't all like that.

[linds34]

Your ex was a total asshole, but that shouldn't harm your relationship with your new boyfriend. Your ex is basically the scum of the earth. Since I can't easily punch him, I will just say, don't let him affect anything with your new boyfriend. Feel free to message me, but in general just forget your ex and imagine you punched him to oblivion.

[Laowai]

Most guys are happy enough to see real boobies and the promise of sex that they are delighted to see any naked women, even one that might not meet their perceived ideal.

And most guys are smart enough to know that negative comments made while actually seeing said naked women run the risk of having the nakedness and promise of sex taken away.

The first guy was a jerk, and rare. You don't have anything to worry about.

Also, instead of destructive self-loathing at some jerk's criticism, maybe some honest self assessment?

[Asker]

what do you mean by honest self assessment?

[Laowai]

If you are very large, or hairy, or have giant breasts or tiny breasts, or a large orange birthmark, it isn't criticism to recognize that distinctive characteristic. It is rude, but not criticism. Also, if it is something in your power to change through diet, exercise, shaving etc., then having someone point it out should help you decide whether you want to change or not.

[LaikaFreefall]

You need to tell all of this to your current boyfriend. He needs to know this. It's important. He needs to know what that other guy did to you. If he's really a decent guy, then he'll only want to help you and make this as none painful as possible.

Trust me. Tell him exactly what you told us. You won't regret it. :)

[detlef]

All you need to do is show that question to your guy.

But forget the last guy. Never let an asshole affect your self-image.

[longjohndan]

what he said

[RationalLioness]

Oh my God... I'm so sorry. I would suggest telling your boyfriend this story. If he cares about you, he'll comfort you. What an asshole he was.

[GirlsBeforeGoals]

he's just being mean. don't bother these kind of guys. don't cry again. they don't deserve you.

[Bimbobambo]

I was never so interested in seeing a photo from a stranger than I am right now. Please make a photo without showing your face, so that we can only see the body. Upload it somewhere, for example here https://en.directupload.net and then update your question with the link. Im really curious.

[Bimbobambo]

But yeah what @detlef said is true basically. Im still curious tho lol.

[ShaeNielson]

Stop praying on insecure girls.

[ShaeNielson]

*preying

[Bimbobambo]

Lol I just wanted to see it to give it more weight when I say "NOOOO! Nothing to worry about!" 😆 but still I had to laugh reading it 😋

[tenchu11]

Dim the lights tell him "please to go slow" kissing and what not. Lay back and have him undress you piece by piece as he kisses and runs his hands over your body. No need to undress infront of him like your being examine or looked at as some attraction.

[kittykatbrat]

(laughing)
A date once called my body a "horror movie" which was only funny because he couldn't stop fucking me.

Peace with empathy + warm smiles xo

[Dragonblood21]

Well that's fucked up. What's up with gag tonight? It's been pretty fucked up tonight.

[kittykatbrat]

@Dragonblood21. Tbf, he said that after I had gone on a four-day-drug bender with ZERO food.

[Dragonblood21]

If TBH isn't a typo for TBH, I don't know what that is. Or a drug bender. So... hm. yea.

[Dragonblood21]

lol if TBF*

[kittykatbrat]

@Dragonblood21 Tbf = To Be Fair Drug bender = Nothing but drugs

[Dragonblood21]

what the hell were you doing that you aren't eating and piling drugs into your body?

[kittykatbrat]

@Dragonblood21. Me then = perpetually self destructive Me now = not so much :P

[Dragonblood21]

Well that would make it not so perpetual now wouldn't it? =p. Interesting. What made you do it? What made you change? How bad was it? How are you now? I'm way too curious. I feel like a cat that found a new box. You can pm if youd like, up to you.

[kittykatbrat]

@Dragonblood21 a1. "perpetual" = past tense = relevant then :P a2. Escapism a3. Challenge a4. 200/10 bad a5. ALL Drugs + ALL alcohol = gone from my life I can't pm u + don't follow anyone on GAG

[Dragonblood21]

Hm, fair enough. Thanks for the answers. I wish you good luck with everything, and I'm glad to see such a huge turn around. One last question, are you happier with your life right now? That's all, I promise.

[kittykatbrat]

... yw + ty :) Happiness is always transitory :P I STILL crave the escapism of drugs daily.

[murphchapter2]

can we see you? (with cloths)

[Dorrky]

I want to hug you :( (sorry if i sound creepy)

[Asker]

that's not creepy at all. Hugs are appreciated :D

[Noxifer626]

Just tell this to your boyfriend, I'm sure he'll understand!

[Anonymous]

Would it help of he dressed like a doctor

[Asker]

I'm not sure whether to laugh or not XD I don't think so but thanks for making my day :)