I told my boyfriend about my "scat" fetish... did I scare him away? should I have not told him?

[Anonymous]

Alright, its weird i know. but its not really a fetish? i dont like shit. i dont want it on me, dont like it near me. I made this clear to him. the sounds of farts turn me on, and how the guy flexs his stomach before he releases. I told him this also. I didn't want to tell him, but he was persistent in knowing. It caused a few big fights because i wouldn't tell him. So while he was at work I texted and told him. In somewhat detail. While in the moment I was thinking it was a good idea, now I'm completely regretting it. I read the message and while the point of detailing what I liked was to make it seem less weird than it is, I think I just made it worse. I feel so embarassed and i feel like a disgusting girl for liking that and its not normal. He hasn't replied ;( and its been a few hours. I'm like anxiously waiting for a reply. And i know he's seen it because he said work was going to be slow, and that he'd have his phone on him all day listening to music while he works. ahhhhhhhh. I'm freaking out. helP!!!

[longjohndan]

Well, texting probably was not the way to go with this one and calling it a scat fetish is also misleading cause that's not really what it sounds like. Its a little out there but you are going too far when you are thinking of yourself as disgusting. So really you need to lighten up a bit because you just aren't thinking objectively. I'm trying to figure out how I would react if that were my girlfriend sending me that text. I'm not sure I would respond to it because I simply wouldn't know what to say. I might even think she was messing with me.

I'd recommend you send him another text and tell him something like... he really doesn't know how vulnerable you feel, that you did this because you trust and care about him and wanted to clear the air (so to speak) that really nothing has changed

[Asker]

I thought texting would be easier because I say the wrong things when i'm flustered or embarassed that or I stop talking all together and that upsets him. I think he knows I'm serious since he's been bugging me for a couple days and we've argued over me not telling him. I guess you're right, i wouldn't know what to say either... but he could say like thats not that bad... or im uncomfortable with that? I don't know I'm not really asking him to do anything. Its not even a fetish, i dont fantasize it. I just like the sounds. I sent another text explaining i used the wrong term, and that i dont like shit haha. I feel stupider saying that but hopefully that clears up any misunderstandings

[longjohndan]

I'd actually be interested in knowing how this plays out cause I'm finding this mildly entertaining. I would have paid good money to have seen the look on his face when he read that text. i think you way over think this and it makes you seem like you have guilt over it. I likely would not have texted back anything as well because I would be thinking this is a topic for discussion at home and not in text. I'm guessing this is more of a dom/sub fetish than anything else.

[Asker]

Haha, I'm pretty sure I know his reaction... We've had a lot of weird wtf moments before. I think he probably laughed his ass off, i can actually hear his laugh in my head when I picture him reading the text. Although he did say last night that he didn't want me to text it to him, but i swear thats the only way I could get the courage to tell him. l do kind of feel guilt over it, I've never really told anyone and I've been somewhat ashamed of it. What is a sub/dom fetish? I didn't understand that

[longjohndan]

You probably like to know that he is a little vulnerable, which means you have a little bit of a dominant streak in you.

[Asker]

Ohh. I can be a dominant person sometimes. But I don't feel like that has anything to do with it... I mean it's not really fetish I guess, having my nose up his butt hole grosses me out. I just feel like if he were to let one rip during sex or a bj i wouldn't really care and that the sound would make me a little more wet. hahahaha. I also think its relaxing that he would be comfortable enough to just let go whenever i think thatd be cool.

[longjohndan]

Yeah, its totally a dominance thing, its not about what he's actually doing, you like that he can be in a vulnerable spot and can trust you to be ok with it. I'm the same way with my girlfriend, just not the same... somewhat unusual things lol.

[Asker]

Well! I let him see this post. He was happy I'm not into scat/shit lol. Although I feel very uncomfortable about him knowing still

[Cardinal7477]

Any fetish discussing can be problematic. The more extreme the fetish, the more likely you will disgust the other person. A mature person will be able to discuss that and simply state whether or not they are into that, or would do that.

Going by what you said, you don't have a 'scat fetish' in my opinion. It sounds like you have a 'fart fetish', which is something entirely different.

Either, this isn't the kind of thing that I personally would have alerted him to via a text message. If you don't feel comfortable/trusting enough to discuss this kind of thing face-to-face, it's probably best not to bring it up at all.

Good luck!

[Asker]

Hmm... Thanks. It was actually a very bad idea to say scat fetish! Because it turns out he ended up thinking I wanted to play with poop. Which I do not. I guess I used that term because I was too afraid to say Fart fetish? And I didn't text him it because I don't trust him... It's just a very embarrassing topic for me and I know face to face I couldn't get it out right. But anyways if he's not into it there's porn so I don't think it should be too problematic

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[RachelBrigs]

Only time will tell but oh god I don't know how I'd react.

[Asker]

Oh god, I feel so dumb.

[RachelBrigs]

Let me know if he replies. Do you live together? He's probably trying to figure out what to say.

[Bandit74]

LMFAO he was probably hoping you were into threesomes or bondage not farts

[Asker]

Haha he was. He wants a 3 some now

[Bandit74]

Maybe you could agree to a threesome and he could eat beans right before... two birds one stone

[Asker]

Hahaha. I'm not that into it

[Asker]

Not into neither fetishes that much

[psychomonkey]

I'm sorry but if my girlfriend told me that then I wouldn't believe it. It's not that weird and he might understand.

[Watermelonoma]

Holy shit..

[genericname85]

to be honest, i´d feel honored that you shared that with me but also weirded out... i won´t try that with you.

[Asker]

I'm not really asking him to try stuff with me... I told him I dont want it shit on me ext ext. thats nasty... and dirty.

[Asker]

it has nothing to do with the shit at all.

[RachelBrigs]

Do you not have a normal apostrophe on your keyboard? Like this ' instead of `

[genericname85]

well that´s what i assume, when you say "scat" XD in that case it wouldn´t be too bad.

[genericname85]

@RachelBrigs i´m writing on a german keyboard layout and ´ is just easier for me to reach and won´t cause any grammatical understanding problems. could you please go, grammar nazi somebody else?

[RachelBrigs]

Oh no I wasn't trying to correct you. I was genuinely curious.

[Asker]

oh fuck... haha i guess i shouldn't have used that term. I feel stupid now he probably misread and thinks i like to play with shit or something

[genericname85]

@RachelBrigs i´m sorry i´m just somewhat irritable today. didn´t mean it. @Asker well that´s exactly, what i´d think ^^

[RachelBrigs]

Its okay lol the Internet makes us all hostile

[KidanisCortes]

this is a tricky situation. I wouldn't be all like judgmental and shit (no pun) but yeah you probably scared him off but meh he wanted to know. Maybe next guy will be more on your level

[Anonymous]

Sorry I push you to do that.

[Asker]

do what?