Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Guys, if your girl wanted you to go down on her more often, how would you want her to approach the subject?

My boyfriend claims to enjoy giving me oral sex, but he hardly ever does it. I wish he'd do it more often partly because I just really like it, and partly because it's one of the better ways for me to reach orgasm (which doesn't happen every time we have sex). However, I'm just not certain how to approach the subject. I've tried to hint at it, but I haven't been successful. We're generally open and good at talking things out, but I really struggle with asking for things, and I'm paranoid that he doesn't really enjoy it even though he says he does. I'd really like to take a subtle approach with this if possible. If you were on the other end of this situation, how would you hope your partner would approach it? What kinds of hints would work on you? How can I take action without just bluntly asking for what I want (which, kudos to you if that's how you operate, but it's just not going to happen for me)? I'd love to hear whatever thoughts, insight, and advice you have on the subject. Thanks!
Updates:
+1 y
Thank you all for your responses. I've finally resolved the situation. To all who gave a "Just be blunt" kind of answer: you're not exactly wrong, but you're also not very helpful. I made it clear that I was seeking a certain kind of information and I explained why. If you weren't interested in providing advice that suited the specifics of my situation or even in acknowledging where I was coming from with my request, you may as well not have answered at all. Your responses were not thoughtful.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, if I lied and said I enjoyed it, I wouldn't be pleased if she came out and asked me for it, citing my supposed enjoyment. So I will approach my answer from that vantage.

    The only way to approach me physically is by using techniques that turn me on; freshly washed, goose-bumpy skin, maybe underwear or easy-access dress that she knows I enjoy, and some beautiful sun coming in the window. She might lay down in a position that appeals to me, and either suggestively touch herself, or push her ass to words my face. Otherwise, the best bet would be to pull my face between her legs after we've made out, and I'm now kissing her legs or stomach.

    But best bet is verbally; she would have the highest chance of success if she told me, in a somewhat intimate and peaceful moment, that she comes the very best from my tongue, and she's been thinking about it lately, that she wants it, she wants me.. Perhaps she might take it further and inquire what underwear screams eat me, or what kind of pubes my face likes best, something that might be able to silently say to me on future occasions I Really Want You To Lick Me Now.

    • That's what I'm worried about. If he doesn't like it after all and only said he liked it to make me feel better, then I don't want to put either of us in the position where a lie is being propagated and run with. That just doesn't help anything. Plus, if he doesn't like it, I want to know because that's something that matters to me in a relationship. So I guess maybe that's an aspect of it that I really do need to address directly. And if I do that, then whatever his response is, I'll be able to convey that it's important to me without directly demanding it, which just isn't something I'm comfortable doing.

  • I didn't read past the headline. I'd want her to offer me what I want most in exchange. In my case, if I eat her well, I get to spank her and ream her, HARD!!

    • That approach doesn't work for me. I want to please him in return, obviously, but I'm not going to bribe him, nor am I going to do absolutely anything he wants in return merely for sex actually being satisfying for me.

    • Thumbs up to asker

    • It was meant as a quid pro quo, not as a bribe or doing anything outside the agreed to boundaries. My ladies and I are kinky so that's all fair game. Just wanted to be clear: a reasonable quid pro quo, whatever that might be. An application of the Principle of the Golden Scratch. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Most Helpful Girls

  • When you guys are getting hot and heavy you should be like "I really want your mouth right here (caress area of interest lol)" or anytime he does it, give mad praise and make it obvious you really enjoyed it. Sometimes guys won't do it as much because they're under the impression you don't really like it that much. Eventually, if he knows how much you enjoy it and he gets all these positive responses from you when he does, he'll do it more on his own.

    • THANK YOU for actually answering the question and addressing my concerns, haha. I should have known a girl would be the one to do it. I'm going to try the praise approach first- nice and subtle, just what I feel comfortable with!

    • No problem! I just know exactly where you're coming from since I've struggled with the same thing of how to express myself/ask for what I want in bed without being super blunt, so yeah haha. Glad I could help.

  • I've sorta had this problem and I think they just need a little reminder. When my boyfriend text saying he wants a bj or sex I just tell him I wanna be played with too and it's gotten better. He wasn't doing anything at all is sick him then have sex and done. Now he'll lick me, finger me whatever I want.

  • maybe you could just be blut about it. when he comes out of the shower or comes home from work just be waiting for him naked with ur legs spread.
    or maybe you could just tell him when you want it. or before you have sex, make it part of the foreplay.

    • I'm not good with blunt. That's exactly why I'm asking this question. Generally I communicate well, but there's something about asking for things (especially things I'm not certain the person wants to give) that can be really hard for me- especially when the topic is so personal and sensitive.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 17

  • Have him fingering you than take his finger to your mouth and suck them. Guide his finger back inside you for a while than take them to his mouth to suck them once he done that cup his cheeks and kiss him pasionatly than with your palm still cupping his cheek gendly guide him down ,, i usually than would stroke cock same time i'm eating her out because its honestly so exciting!!! I can't not touch myself doing it...

  • just mention it. you could drop some clues like 'my gosh I love it when you go down on me' or during foreplay you could just mention it to him. like basically ask him

  • For me sex is all about playing with and eventually fullfilling each others needs. So just tell me what you want or in my case simply move my head there, ill get the hint.

  • if u feel you can't just ask him try putting both your hands on his face while kissing and gently guide his head to where you want it. you can also get into 69 position more often or be direct and squat over his face and tell him to do it you may have to do some dirty talking most guys won't refuse. your still young you will learn to just ask for it or tell them to do it !

  • When you guys are all horny and hot just say to him that you want him to go down on you. Or if he is laying on his back just sit on his face that will give him the message! But try asking him first. Failing that then sit on his face.

  • For the love of God, just tell him. If he loves it, most guys do, he's be down there before your finish the sentence.

    • Yes, that's the obvious solution. But it's much easier said than done (or said than said, haha). So I'm asking for a little advice about how to go about it. Otherwise you're not telling me anything I didn't already know. Besides, what I don't understand is if he likes it, why doesn't he do it?

    • Hi, I have responded to women's queries on this subject a few times, and one possible reason that has come up is simple: some guys lack of confidence or are shy. Why don't you try it the simplest way first. Tell him something like, "God, you made me come so hard the last time you "INSERT YOUR PHRASE FOR CUNNINLINGUS HERE." I'd love to feel your lips on me again." Then while he's doing it, be clear as to what he's doing that you like, and what you don't like. Guys are pretty simple creatures, but we're more insecure than many women think.

  • Ask him what's the fastest way for you to get him to climax then tell him the fastest way for you to climax.

  • Ask whenever you want it? Lol

    I hope when i have sex we communicate well. I want us to be attentive of whatever the other wants.

  • show him my take, after tellling him
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22209-women-the-irony-of-receiving-oral-sex

  • Next time the two of you are going to have sex tell him how much you love it when he goes down on you and how great it makes you feel.

  • I'd love it of you just pushed me down on the bed and rode my face. I'd get the hint you need it more often

  • Try being dominant some in bed , could spice it up.

    • I already do that a little bit, but I'm not comfortable trying to force this on him.

  • Id rather her dump me, Thats absolutely gross.

  • I have no problem going down on a woman. All I ask of her is that she keep it at least trimmed, if not shaven. I don't need long pubic hair, going in to my mouth, but if she wants stubble or whatever, that's fine. He has to want to go down on you, don't ever force him to

    • Obviously I would never force anyone to go down on me. Good grief, I'm not a rapist. However, if someone isn't interested in going down on me, then they may not be the right partner for me.

    • That's the point of my last sentence. If they don't do it, they probably don't want to, and if you're wanting them to, then, they're probably not right for you

    • Maybe. He does it sometimes, and he claims to really like it. So that's where I'm a little confused.

    • Show All

  • Mostly just tell him , or when he is lying on his back just put it right in his face , I'm sure he will get the hint then

  • When he's on top just start just push on his head tell he's down there

  • "Eat me out babe" will suffice.

    • Yeah that's not ever going to come out of my mouth.

    • I was seeing a girl that would refer to oral as kissing it. When my body would be begging for her mouth, normally this means thrusting and pathetic eye contact that somehow conveys a begging penis, she would notice and ask if I wanted her to kiss it. I think anything more vulgar would turn her completely off. But basically, you know your man best, there needs to be some way for you to convey in that exact moment how badly you want it.

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