Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend hurts me during sex?

So, me and my boyfriend of 2 years have sex on a regular basis. Still as passionate as when we first got together. So anyways he slaps my face during sex, (never punches) and he can slap pretty hard. I don't say anything just so it doesn't ruin the moment. He always asks me afterwards if it was too hard, and I'll say yes. It's never hard enough to make my skin red or anything. And he has NEVER hit me during an argument, he is extremely against domestic violence. So I'm just wondering is this normal? Does he resent me in some way? Mainly asking the males but females feel free to comment! Thanks
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Most Helpful Guys

  • My girlfriend does the exact same to me. She grabs my throat during sex and slaps my face & will even call me 'bitch' when doing it. She also always insists on going on top for sex, without giving me a choice in the matter and acts like she is in charge. Like you, I usually don't say anything so it doesn't ruin the moment & because I know she enjoys doing it. But on the occasion I have resisted or tried putting her in her place & taking control, she will become more aggressive, choke/slap me harder so I have come to accept it & let her get on with it. The sex is still good, but I don't understand why she does it. I think it may be a dominance thing. When we're not having sex she is completely different, like shy & quiet around me. It's strange.

  • I'm guessing he's seen it in porn or dated a woman who liked being slapped. You can ask him to stop and if he doesn't, go ahead and ruin the moment. Hopefully asking will do it of ruining the moment will but can you live with being slapped around? My women love it but we're very kinky and they are submissive and love the way it puts them in their place (their words).

Most Helpful Girls

  • No some men just like the dominating feeling. But it does concern me that if you tell him it's too hard why he is not backing off. I was in a relationship with a guy who loved slapping me during sex and after he would always kiss me and say sorry even though it never hurt me. He never was abusive towards me but I did find out he was with his previous girlfriend. In my opinion any man who is comfortable slapping a female in any situation would be comfortable slapping a female in any situation.

  • The reason why it's not hard enough to make your skin red is because in order to do so you need to draw blood to the face prior, so if he just slaps you out of no where really during intercourse it can HURT a lot more because of this AND it's random. Some people have different ways that get them off and he may just be in the moment! You can ask him about it, asking does it turn him on and why

  • I don't think he means to hurt you, and I don't think he resents you, it must be some fantasy he has and so he carries it out, but if you don't enjoy it at all you need to tell him not to do that anymore. Sex needs to be enjoyable FOR BOTH.

  • It's not normal at all. If someone wants to hit you during sex, they need your consent and established boundaries. You NEED to tell him you DON"T like being hit AT ALL and it needs to STOP.

    • Aw he always asks me. And I say yes to turn him on. I know if I said no he wouldn't. I just don't want to ruin his mood.

    • Okay. That is not the only way he can get off. And it's not okay to sacrifice this part of yourself to help him get his jollies off. It sounds like he care about you. Do you think he'd want to hurt you if he knew if makes you feel bad?

    • No, he's never want to hurt me, I think he's just in the moment maybe

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  • sounds to me like he has a bit of a fetish, if you are not comfortable with it then this is an issue...

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 16

  • This isn't normal and it's not right at all. The fact that you are questioning him slapping you around proves it. You mention that he is against domestic violence; what he is doing is not far from it, especially if you have questions about it.

  • No, based on my experience, slapping a woman during sex is extremely uncommon.

  • If you don't like it you must tell him. Don't just say "yes it was too hard" say "I don't like it when you slap me please don't do it again".

    Slapping can be extremely erotic, and it is a fairly common fetish for both guys and girls. So whether its "normal" or not isn't really the question. Nothing is really "normal" when it comes to what people want out of sex. Its only what you enjoy.

    It must however be consensual. You shouldn't just do it to your partner without her wanting you to - that's abuse and if it continues you should find a new man and get the hell out of there.

  • It's not normal, but if he doesn't show this behavior in day by day life, then it's likely to be a fetish of his, something that makes him get more horny and excited. Not common, but possible.

  • Well... although its weird, and smells illegal, if you are giving consent, then is he really doing anything wrong? I guess not? I have no cucking clue.

    But either way, if you don't like it, you need to speak up. If you do, then i guess just continue on?

  • Yes, this is way weird. He might have seen some crappy movie about it and thinks that you like this sort of thing, I have zero clue how anyone manages to convince themselves of that, though.

  • It seems weird. Maybe he thinks you're into it? Either way, talk to him about it before you flip at him.

  • what? he slaps your face :O?
    tell him you are not comfortable with this at all

  • i think it's kind of BDSM things, try to discuss it with him if it bother you

  • It's neither normal nor common. It's something seen in porn and that's why he does it.
    Discuss about it with him ans ask him to stop.
    Best of luck xx

  • that's not right.. specially when you are not fine with this.. talk to him.. tell him he has to stop doing this.

  • That sounds hot. But if you don't like it you should tell him, it's not for everyone.

  • Yes I find it weird and pretty much of a warning sign for you to find a new man.

  • It sounds as if you are uncomfortable with this. Why not tell him.

  • But... how that started? Did you ask to be spanked in the beggining?
    Was it random?

    • It's a form of hard domination fetiche, he probably see a lot of porn like that too.

  • If you think he should slap less hard, tell him exactly how much less hard and see if he will.

  • Oh... Believe me tge reason for that is porn movies.

  • Well if you're not comfortable with it just tell him that, I tend to do that and have it rough only when the girl I am with wants to be dominated like that otherwise I personally like passionate vanilla sex more I guess

  • Slap his balls lol

  • I think you need to discuss this with him but to me it's not acceptable behavior...

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