Do you think you can rape your wife?

[Anonymous]

On the phone with my African girlfriend, it came up and she tells me "When we're married you can have sex with me any time you feel like it" being the feminized white man that I am, I say "No! I must ask for your permission always, or else it's rape" She replies: "What silliness are you talking about, you can't rape your own wife!" I say "Yes you can. Here in the west men regularly go to prison for 20 or 40 years for raping their wife" She's stunned for moment, and then says "You westerners are crazy"

[Anonymous]

You can rape anyone if you force them into a sex act, but that would be obvious because you would have to be forceful and violent.

The new bullshit definition that feminism created where regret, feeling obligated, having a sip of alcohol removes females ability to make proper decisions, and having to constantly recheck that the female is still ok with the act because she "may not feel comfortable saying stop or no" are considered "rape".
Those items are all bullshit, and they also all only seem to apply to women which completely disregards males.
If a male was to say no to sex, he would be punished by the partner somehow, therefore he would have to do it or pay the price. If the feminist definition applies, then males would be raped whenever they didn't want it and felt obligated.

So anyway back to your question... if your wife has given you an all access pass, you need to make sure she isn't setting you up to have ammo against you later when she needs to make you out to be a rapist to get revenge, power, support, sympathy, etc.
You would almost want to have her sign a contract to prevent her from manipulating the system. It's very common.

If you

[HaveNoName]

Rape is a wrong word for married couple and the West makes you believe that that's the only way to define it for legal purposes. Just because your wife says NO does not make it a rape. However, if force is used to the extent that it caused physical injury, then it is physical manhandling/assault whatever you want to call it and the guy should be held accountable. But not just because the wife said NO.

[HaveNoName]

The brainwashed, brain dead and irrational will always downvote without trying to make sense of what they read.

[HaveNoName]

And those who disagree can think whatever they want to, but to me, having sex outside marriage is a much bigger crime than having sex with a wife who is not interested. You go your way, I'll go mine.

[HaveNoName]

Oh man !! What is this? MHO? Have you looked at the downvotes? Haha!! Thanks brother!! I hope you don't mean any pun here.

[lumos]

Yes, you can totally rape your wife. And your girlfriend. You relationship status doesn't mean anything in this case. If you have to force someone to have sex with you, whether that's your wife, your girlfriend, your fuckbuddy, a stranger, basically anyone, then it's rape. Thinking that you somehow can't rape your partner is wrong on so many levels. Just because they're your partner it doesn't mean they can't turn you down and not feel like having sex. It doesn't mean that they're obligated to have sex with you whenever YOU feel like it. If you have to force someone to have sex with you, then it's rape, no matter what the circumstances are.

[Star_Lord]

You are a woman worthy for respect, I like your opinion. That's why I liked you. Up vote for you, I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Of course. It horrifies me that some people in first world countries actually think rape isn't possible within marriage (referring to the poll, but your girlfriend probably just grew up in a culture that doesn't see marital rape as rape). Like the minute you put that ring on her finger, all of a sudden it doesn't matter if she says no or doesn't give consent in any other way? You don't have to ask permission every time (she'll make it clear if she's willing), and it's not a feminized perspective, it's just extremely *basic* respect for another human.

[BMS0323]

It depends on the relationship and situation. Of course a man can rape his wife. That's a given. A woman who says NO it's NO. My boyfriend knows that I will never turn him down if he wants sex. Intimacy is VERY important in a relationship. I want to keep his attention and the spark. He would never turn me down either. If either of us are not in the mood, we know how to get each other going. If one of us is tired or sick then we respect that it's not a good time. This is...
COMMUNICATION

[AustinMan]

Marriage is not an exemption from consent for sex. If she does not consent, it's rape, married or not.

[dartmaul15]

kay, let's not give him a hard time for this. We weren't any better back in the days, and she's from africa.

Yes, you can rape your own wife. But it kinda relies on her not wanting sex, or not wanting that kind of sex. So if she wants anything and always want it, then you kinda can't rape her (because she want to).

But i do believe the need for explicit concent isn't as strong when married. You don't need to openly ask in the same way you need for a one night stand. It's more a matter of how you respond to advances. If it's positive then that'd be concent. BUT if she at any time says she doesn't want something, then don't do that.
It's not that a lack of an explicit "no" is concent, it's that the "yes" is not verbalized but rather show through actions (her responding positively to your advances)

[Coffinspire]

Rape is not exactly vague, if you have sex with someone that didn't want sex with you, and you forced yourself on them anyway, it's def rape.

[goflipaburger]

Wtf dude... rape is rape. A ring doesn't change that fact.

[GirlScout]

Of course you can. Your girlfriend is disgustingly socialised to accept rape as normal.

Africa is fucked up. So fucked up.

[Prettygurl12]

Until recently (in law years) a man could not rape his wife.

Until 1975, implied consent existed in which a woman could not accuse her husband of rape.

That has chanced and now if a spouse says no or denies his or her spouse in any way (because not saying yes always means no) then the one who pursues the sex can be convicted of marital rape.

[Prettygurl12]

*changed - stupid autocorrect

[madhatters4]

north Carolina up until 1993 still had laws that allowed spousal rape

[gapminder]

I'm going to catch hell for asking this, but hypothetically. How pissed would you be if you got married, provided your spouse the friendship and support emotionally and financially. And when you went to initiate sex the answer is always no? What I am saying is that there are certain expectations that come with marraige. And one of those is sex, because why would a person commit themselves to something for life if it wasn't mutually beneficial? In Christian marraige ceremonies you hear "two become one" or one flesh and that you each own a piece of each other out of love and devotion. People just really need to understand the things they are taking a vow to when they get married. Not every day is a day you will want to have sex, but you do it because you love your spouse and it's what they want. When my wife and I were trying to get pregnant for our first child there were sooooo many times I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT! Because I'm human, but I did it because of my wife.

[-No0ne-]

Saying yes is not the only way to say yes, so not saying yes does not automatically equal no. The reverse is also true. Real life is hardly as black and white as you are painting it. But you are correct, marital rape can/does happen.

[HaveNoName]

After reading @GapMinder 's comment, Thank God I'm a Muslim and I follow what religion says, not the Western culture.

[HaveNoName]

And just to clarify, religion says that man or woman, you are obligated to respond to the desires of your spouse unless of course there is a medical or physical condition which does not allow you.

[EmpatheticLady]

The results of this poll... please tell me that's a joke. >_> Scary.

You most definitely can rape your spouse. If they say "no" to sex for whatever reason and you do it anyway, that is rape.

[madhatters4]

well you're a good man and unfortunately your girlfriend is just from a place where laws are still antiquated and often sexist. of course rape can occur in marriage

[juststrollin]

what is this foolishness you are speaking of...

If she is African as she is from the continent, she is from a 3rd world country... *face palm x9* meaning they are still developing those ideals vs playing out typical traditions or which involve a lot of typical human behaviors.

I'm sure if she was from Saudi Arabia (which also has lesser rights for women correct me if I'm wrong) or any other country that is not developed she would say the same thing.

[juststrollin]

So basically if your wife decides to to force something up yours forcibly, then thats rape in American society, may not be talked about or backed but it is.

[TheBasil]

Managed to click on '' you can't rape your own wife'' by a accident.

It's illegal and wrong even if it's your wife. Rape is a crime for a reason.

[Red_Arrow]

Married couples form understandings between them. And it is usually that permission exists unless one expresses not wanting to. That means that an oral "yes" is not required to makes advances and move on to sex unless one expresses that he/she does not want to at that time. So if that is how your marriage works, you can kiss, touch, fondle, caress, nibble,, etc, then move further to intimate touching, sucking, and vaginal sex, as long as neither party expresses (in any form) not wanting to.

[cahdee]

She will make an excellent wife. Her giving herself to you anytime you wish shouldn’t be made out to be a negative. Who the hell do you think you are to tell her something is wrong with how much she is dedicated to satisfying her future husbands needs and desires? You should be ashamed for thinking your ethnocentric values are better than she.

[ChanningGal]

u can't rape her!!! if ur just dating u can't so marriage is no different

[ShaeNielson]

The question was "Is it possible to rape your wife" not "is it okay to rape your wife" It's a very misleading poll.. :)

[ChanningGal]

@ShaeNielson haha soz, well yes u can rape ur wife technicaly but u shouldn't

[fauchelevent]

Of course you can rape your partner. Just because someone married you, it doesn't mean that they're going to be up for having sex whenever you want it and having sex when they're not into it is always rape.

[SarahsSummer]

While I don't like the wording of the poll, if a wife says no and you do it, it's rape.

[HaveNoName]

What about a wife who is absolutely mute about having physical intimacy and never says yes but never says no either. It is always a one sided affair with zero response or reciprocation. Would that mean the guy is raping her EVERYTIME they have sex?

[SarahsSummer]

@HaveNoName it means two things. 1) you married the wrong woman 2) if she doesn't say no or resist it's not rape.

[itsallover]

The poll options genuinely shock me. Good grief.

[itsallover]

Results*

[Thor696]

Rape is a strange word applied to marriage.

The "consent" is kind of stipulated in the marriage vows. However - you should never FORCE yourself on your wife if she protests. Violence against your wife is unacceptable. I don't really care what the law says.

Personally, I never ask my wife. She's submissive and HATES making the first move - or even asking and it turns her off for me to even ask her.

Do married women sometimes have sex when they don't want to?

ALL... THE... FREAKIN' ... TIME

And... they do it for many reasons.

A lot of times my wife isn't in the mood... but she "catches" up if I start something with her and gets into it.

[madhatters4]

rape is sex against someone's will. so if you're wife doesn't want to have sex and you force to have sex, that is rape. it doesn't matter your relationship status. A person cannot shove a penis into a person's vagina or a force their vagina on a penis without consent otherwise it is rape.

[Thor696]

@madhatters4 Soooo... a man who gets his wife drunk (too drunk to consent) and then takes advantage of her is... "RAPE"? y'all can down vote this shit all you want. But you have polluted the real meaning of rape. "Rape" - used to mean a sexual act committed on a woman without her consent - and usually was accompanied by violence. Now today - you guys have grouped "regret sex" into that definition. "Oh I drank too much and couldn't consent properly" - that's rape now. What you're doing here - is minimizing the women who are truly raped. And I'm sorry - but a man who has sex without his wife's consent may be guilty of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (which is a crime). But he's not guilty of taking anything she hasn't already consented to in the marriage vows. I'm not saying it's right - I'm just saying - it's not rape. "To have and to hold" ^^ What exactly do y'all think that means? LOL

[madhatters4]

where in the marriage vows does either party to have sex without consent? marriage vows do however state to "honor", "respect", "cherish", etc. so where does forcing yourself on your wife against her desire honor, respect or cherish her.

[matheus_mb]

If she doesn't want to have sex and you force her to do it without her consent, then it's rape.

[AleDeEurope]

"No, I don't want to have sex"
"You're my wife, I can have sex with you anytime I want"
"Nooo, stop!!!"
"Ughh, shut up! Open your legs"
"Ahhhh!!!"

That right there is RAPE, sir. If she says no, it's no.

[Xelebrum]

Forcing someone to have sex with you is rape, no exceptions. If they say no, and you still do it, it's rape. If they say yes but then change their mind and don't want to do it anymore, and you still keep going, it's rape. If they don't verbally say no but make it obvious that they don't want to do it (tries to escape, tries to push you away, etc.), and you still do it, it's also rape.