Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I am the office slut at my new job. How do I handle this?

So I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, which was hard, but I got a new and really good job. My friend said that it's best not to mourn to much and make a good impression at my new job, and to immediately get to know new guys. On my first day I got way more attention than I hoped for from guys, but one guy made a best first impression, pretty cocky but in a charming funny way. He said we should hang out, and I invited him over for dinner. It was very clear that there were no feelings between us, but he was clearly there for sex. He has a way with words and 1 minute after entering, we were talking about my butt and he got me loose easily. So we ate, and in an hour he was fucking me all over my appartment. Honestly, this kind of thing never happened to me, but it was like a pornmovie and without expecting it, it felt amazing. It was the kind of sex where I couldn't even think straight and got a note from my neighbor to keep it down, so yeah. The day after he told everyone at the office that he fucked me and told every detail. Positions, how I moaned, everyting. Everyone is now laughing at me, although not in a mean way, it's emabbassing. I don't even work there for a week and already this. Now one of the guys even said "here's our pornstar" to me. Again everyone just sees it as something funny, but I'd like to get rid of this situation. What should I do?
Updates:
+1 y
I'm not going to file him for sexual harassment. I really think no one should be able to do it in a situation like this. A woman these days can sue anyone, and it goes to far. Same when you're drunk, get fucked and regret it the day after, you can sue the guy for rape. This mentality destroys all the fun and freedom in flirting and hooking up. And no the situation isn't THAT bad for me. Just annoying and embarrassing. I don't feel sexually assaulted at all.
+1 y
And after a couple days, I can say that the situation is being taken really well by everyone. Of course I kinda made bad name and it will never really go away, they still laugh about it sometimes, but they really appreciate me as a person and they invite me to their personal parties and make me feel welcome. It's a good friend group and they do everything to let me fit in, even if they make a joke. I do however have guys at my desk like constantly trying to have a chat with me which isn't bad.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well... you definitely should know by this age, that you aren't supposed to mix work and sex. Poor life choice on your end.

    BUT... that doesn't mean what he did was okay, nor are his remarks.

    You need to take away his control by commenting that the sex wasn't as good as you'd hoped. That his penis was mediocre and it was the first time you ever had to fake an orgasm. You could ask, "Do you want to know what food stamps taste like? Because the HR department and I could help you figure that out."

    All you have to do is own what you did in such a way, that HE can't own the situation and get control hanging over your head with his comments. If he realizes that his comments don't scare or embarrass you away, then he has no ammunition to keep talking about it.

  • List every comment, date and time. I don't know what you do and I do know HR in some jobs aren't helpful, but trust me if this continues to escalate in any way you need documentation. Besides that, you can do 2 things. Ignore it. Don't respond or acknowledge it. Hold your head up high and it will pass. Or you can be direct and tell them that it is unacceptable and not to talk to you that way again. I wouldn't yell, swear, threaten or get emotional. Just be firm. Choose the one you are most comfortable with. Offices feed on drama and to keep it going they want to get you riled up and upset. If you're not it dies down quicker. As for some of the response you've recieved. Everyone makes mistakes.

  • Congrats on fucking someone you hardly knew on your first day at work. Have you learned his name yet?

    That being said, he crossed a major line. Regardless of the exploit, at no point have you given him permission to parade your sex life and describe all the details to other people. That shit's private and the fact that he caused this to go around the while office for awhile is not cool.

    You weren't very smart for doing what you did, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be treated like trash in the workplace.

    Complain to management, HR and higher. There is such a thing as code of conduct and your colleagues have continuously broken it and don't seem to give a shit.

Most Helpful Guys

  • First and foremost, by going to the office and telling everyone, the guy just turned it from a fun night for both of you to sexual harassment in the work place. The laughter about it is continued sexual harassment, and especially the guy calling you their pornstar. What has been done is not right. Your work place should not be made uncomfortable just because you gave in to impulse. I would advise filing a complaint. If you get fired for filing a complaint, you have grounds to sue... at least, if you are in the United States. Check with your local labor bureau on the specifics.

    By the way, that guy that you had sex with - absolute douche nozzle!

  • And what did you expect? You get a new job, and on the first day you meet a guy, invite him home, and fuck him.
    Just ignore them and do your job, deal with the consequences of your actions, you're a grown woman.

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 31

  • Really? You post this? Sounds like you were looking for a replacement dck for the EX, and found a 'Player' that played you!!
    Are you looking for sympathy?
    You sound like an idiot, letting him talk his way into your pants!! Shame on you!!
    What would your Parents and Grandparents think of you!!

  • Keep your panties on and do the job, well. Get some respect and political capital.

    • I knew this comment was going to be present how about you f*** off and stop telling other people what to do with their bodies or their lives thank you

    • @Nicolás25 The question was "What should I do?" Pretty clear to me. What about that did you not understand? And it's none of your business anyway.

    • yes what should I do with the situation that I am in now

    • Show All

  • take it to the top?
    Get a note about futher events like it will be considered seual harassment, and WILL have consequenses. Then again, that will only remove the spoken words and shown actions.

    • wow just wow you're the type of people I f****** hate in the workplace now take it to the top what are you a f****** kindergartener tattle telling on his classmates it's childish you don't just go um boss I feel uncomfortable and get others in trouble for having a laugh

    • @nicolás25 well, what do you suggest? you got a better idea? they're not "having a laugh". Having a laugh would be if it happened once. This is bordering over to sexual harassment and bullying. But hell, you're the kind of idiot who probably get fired for crap like that, and blame the people. There are certain codes of conduit, and this case is breaking several of them. Seriously, understand the difference between "having a laugh" and "harassment".

    • No I don't do this just like I don't cat call but I don't consider either sexual harassment just because I defend something doesn't mean I am as such that's a non-sequitur leap thatthatple make all the time here let me explain just because you are for the rights of gays doesn't mean you yourself are gay do you get the idea yet?

    • Show All

  • Nothing you can do. You reap what you sow.

  • You keep doing you, Report him to Human resources at your job he has no right to be acting so inappropriately on the job his behaviour could even get him fired as divulging private details like that is considered sexual harassment. There was a woman at my job who talked about the details of sex she had with another employee so he reported her for harassment and she was terminated on the spot, some with a man who was bullying a woman because she had sex with him once and refused to a second time because he told everyone everything he was fired too. Get his ass sacked!

  • Sounds like the horse is already out of the barn. Find another job. This is why I never mess around at work. You could go to HR, but then you would be the woman everyone stays away from for fear of more problems. Understand that you had a part in this and if it was me, I would just move on.. find a different job and keep my personal life separate from my professional life.

  • You should never sleep around at work... it just invites problems like this. And you said the guy was pretty cocky, should have tipped you off he was not discrete...

  • You aren't a slut for sleeping with him. However what he has done is a form of sexual harrassment , and the others are just being workplace bullies. there's no need for it put a complaint in with your boss's if that falls on deaf ears you have rights to take it to court

    No one has to stand for this kind of treatment !!!

  • I guess own it. And be so forward to whomever mentions it that you scare them off...

    I'm not sure, but I think you can file a complaint with your supervisor... although who know if there's anything he/she can do about it.

    Maybe think first next time...

    • @MichelleJustAsking has a point - the sooner you start mentioning it back and embarrassing HIM for a change, because he's the office slut too (probably more so than you ever were) the sooner he'll stop.

  • Sadly, THIS is why you don't get involved with co-workers. You may have to change jobs, or start looking for better places to work at the very least.

    What a douchebag, this guy spreading it all over the office.

  • How can you be the office slut when you have only slept with one guy? That's not slutty at all. Anyways, he's a loser of a boy that should have kept his and your private affairs to himself , just don't make the same mistake twice with someone else from there. Also they are giving you a hard time because they can. It's just banter.

  • This is why you don't let your hormones gorge your actions and give it up to a guy within 24/hrs after meeting him. This is why waiting and gorging out a person character before you cheaply give yourself to someone.

    • she didn't ask for a moral lecture from you she simply asked what should I do about the awkward situation at my work place

  • He's an asshole :(

  • Omg that's quite the story
    I bet every guy there wants to come over for dinner ( a fuck ) have some fun. Get lots of cock in you. Helps get over a break up. If they all had a go , no one would be upset they didn't get a chance and they won't get jelous.
    I bet you were raw and sore the next day. Wonder if you were walking funny and people noticed. Great job

  • I'm sorry for all that happened to you, and what people are giving as advice on here. You don't deserve this treatment at your office and this is an obvious example of double standards. My best advice would be to realize you had fun and that your sex life is none of anyone's business - but I wouldn't recommend getting involved again with someone from a work environment. Chin up and good luck!

  • Oh it may sound as something 'funny' to you... but you better believe there's more negativity there than just humour. Your being made out to be the joke of the year. Its like he punked you.

    You can't get rid of it. First impressions last. I bet this will stick with you for a long time as long you continue to work there. The only possible way to get rid of it is to work your way up to a higher position.

  • There are consequences for putting out too soon.

    You should level it up with him and tell people what he's like in bed too. Small dick, and being a one minute man.

    • 2 wrongs don't make a right.

    • Fuck da asshole :P

  • Have you ever heard of the expression, don't dip the pen in company ink?

    That is exactly the reason why you don't do these things, it just creates problems.

    To get rid of the situation, I would go to him and say" either you tell them it was a lie, or I will tell everyone, it did not go down like he portrayed it" I would tell him to apologize and tell everyone that he embellished the truth, or you will tell them he was done in 10 seconds and it was just awkward after that and he left for home embarrassed!

  • embrace it there's nothing you can do about it to you enjoy yourself there's no shame in that

  • Talk to the Human Resource person or department. This is sexual harassment.

  • Show More (21)

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