Why does my friend let her boss fuck her?

[Anonymous]

So my neighbor is my best friend. She is 26, single and, I admit, really hot. All the guys are after her, but she has a difficult time opening up personally to men. She works at a company where her boss is apparently some arrogant idiot who got the position through his dad and since the company is so rich, he never has to do anything and pays people to do his job. He just hangs around, hires pretty girls and uses his position to fuck them and gets rich doing just that. My friend says she hates her boss but now he wanted to talk about some business with her and my friend invited him to her place to cook for him (he kinda nagged till she suggested that). She told me she hoped he got out soon, rolling her eyes, and I told her to watch out with him and not let him try anything with her. About 20 minutes after he arrived, I heard them fucking and I've never heard any sex this hard and noisy. The day after she said that he's an arrogant prick, then I told her I heard loud and clearly what happened and she felt so ashamed. She said her boss was asking to fuck her in every compliment he gave, and she just gave in one time, as she could use some action. She did say that although she hates him, the sex was the best she ever had. But right now she is a mental wreck. I'm really worried. How can such a beautiful young smart girl fall for a prick like that? And just so that asshole can empty his balls in one of the prettiest girls around. He just gets everything he wants without having to give or do anything. What if this happens again at work? Can I talk sense into her? Cause it didn't help last time and she knew she had to be careful. I'm just trying to understand what went on in her mind. And how come that guy pulls it off with so many girls? he's not good looking or anything.

[MrOracle]

Many girls may KNOW a guy is a jerk, but that doesn't mean that (for some), they don't find his arrogance attractive. That's the deal here - she knows he's no good for her, but she's attracted to his high level of confidence and his power/money (more by the idea of it, rather than trying to get her hands on it herself), and by the fact that he "knows what he wants."

He knows she could have said "no", but she didn't really WANT to say "no." At the same time, she knows he doesn't really care for her, and she knows that others think he is a jerk (and she does too), so she is afraid to admit that some part of her wanted this all along, and allowed it to happen. But make no mistake - she gave the green light at every turn, starting when she invited him over. She knew who and what he was, and did it anyway, because she is attracted to that supreme level of confidence he has, and because she is too naive and inexperienced to both know better and to take charge of her own life.

[Agrojag]

I don't think experience has much to do with it. I think women who make these choices are seriously damaged or inherently stupid and that more experience won't help them. That's just me though.

[MrOracle]

@Agrojag In this case, I don't know that it's either of those, but if it is, it's probably the former. I think she is both shy/lacking in confidence in general and perhaps emotionally damaged (but this one incident isn't enough to establish that, and it's all we have to go on). But this was a rich, powerful man, who she knows could (and often does) have any woman he wants, and yet he wanted HER (even if only for sex), and that idea turned her on, along with his confident and direct behavior. And I think she lacks the life experience to cut through that attraction and override it with logic. She KNOWS he's bad for her, but her logic got overwhelmed by her attraction, and that's usually a sign of inexperience/naivete, but, yes, also sometimes of emotional damage.

[Agrojag]

Maybe but based on how the asker describes this woman plus my experience with similar women, I strongly suspect emotional damage. I agree she's probably not just stupid though.

[Asker]

I guess there's a lot of truth in that. It's a little shameful to admit this, being a woman myself, but yes, the idea of power, arrogance and direct behavior can be a major sexual turn on. I just didn't think she'd act on it. And he made the advances, she said no first but always gave in after his nagging.

[Agrojag]

Guys like this just make me want to bust their face so life is just a little harder for them like most people. But the girls who fall for guys like that piss me off more. Or at least used to. I just don't care anymore and any women who wants to debase herself like that isn't desirable to me at all. Honestly your friend is either a moron or emotionally damaged. Either way she's definitely single for a reason. Real men drop women like her as soon as they realize what she is and the assholes fuck them and go. Clearly your friend is desperate and all she can do is have a fling with a trust fund kid. You warned her and that's all anyone can do. Nobody can be saved from them self.

[Agrojag]

And girls who fall for guys like that almost always have daddy issues. A person on here once told me, a girl's relationship with her father is very important to their ability to be a good partner. I couldn't agree more.

[Anonymous]

I don't think she actually hates him as much as she says she does. She clearly is attracted him in some way because she asked him over for dinnner and slept with him. If she truly hated him as much as she said she did she wouldn't have slept with him. In the end, it was her choice, not yours. There's really nothing you can do about it. She knows that this guy is bad for her, but she gave him exactly what he wanted.

[Anonymous]

You're friend is a dumb ass. If she didn't wanna fuck him she should've kept her legs closed. Very simple

[candi12]

Well... its up to her right? U say she's a mental wreck. ... not sure why though

[Tdieseler]

Let people make their own mistakes, you've done your part by warning

[OlderAndWiser]

Why is this your problem to fix?

[Asker]

cause she's my friend?

[OlderAndWiser]

Did she ask for your help?

[JuicyBrain]

He may be a dick, but apparently he had something she needed. Maybe that the fact that she does not like him actually made it easier for her to get what she wanted without feeling guilty.

[Insecure1636]

Unfortunately since she consented there may not be much she can do. If she resists his advances and he continues she can go after him/the company for sexual harassment.

[FakeName123]

1. As MrOracle said already - being a jerk doesn't excluse from having sexual attraction.

2. You said it yourself, she has difficulties opening up to men. Chances are that sexuality and interhuman intimacy for her are separate entities instead of two parts which should be in sync. As with that boss she obviously separate it clearly (and its probably not the first time).

[Asker]

It is the first time though. That's probably why he wanted to go to her place, he couldn't get to fuck her there, so he tried at her place. That seems pretty clear to me.

[FakeName123]

With "probably not the first time" I didn't specifically meant with her boss, but in general not the first time she had sex with someone which was completely emotionless and purely lust-based.

[aliencreature]

She's into the power and submissiveness and shit

Girls don't know what they want. And even if they get what they want they won't ever admit that to themselves. Because there is a discrepancy between what they want and what they think they should want, and there's also a discrepancy between the confidence and self image they present to the world and insecurity and self-loathing they deeply have internalized. And when it comes to admitting these things about themselves they are weak as shit. There's this whole stereotype about women supposedly being more 'emotionally intelligent' but they're the most emotionally weak ones of all

[Ihav2fart]

Maybe she's just beauty and young not so much smart...

Dude's a stud, can't deny that.

[Agrojag]

Really? I mean if I had a rich family that provided for me and all I had to worry about was looking good and fucking girls, I'd be embarrassed if I couldn't get any. Seems basic to me.

[Naughtyboy71]

It all about his money and a chance to move up the ladder

[Marinepilot]

He will destroy her if he hasn't already. Karma will catch up with this ass douche. It always does.

[Bigdaddyslim]

And you get mad when we say most women are sluts

[Asker]

I never got mad about that. Some women are, but not my friend.

[jmmmfi2]

This guy is my hero

[Asker]

Yeah I know guys look up to him. Until he tries something with a girl you maybe like?

[Anonymous]

Surprising that a woman would ask this...

[Anonymous]

Dont boder talking sense into her she is women and he is a jerk, also dont try to understand what went on trough her mind (she is women)
Wonder how he pulls it off he has money and he is jerk apperently girls like that sometimes
Some girls dont understand their selves... no one does.. dont bother she has her own brain and life let her live the way she small mindedly wants she should can pick what she needs/wants by her self

[Anonymous]

This is why I hate this world. The guys who don't deserve anything are the ones that get to have sex with any girl they want 24/7. I don't have a sex life, but it doesn't matter anymore. I plan on destroying this planet on 11-11-2015. I'm killing off all the men first.

[Agrojag]

Dang. I'm in the same boat as you, man! Why are you killing the guys when it's idiotic women making these choices?

[RachelBrigs]

You're not entitled to shit

[Agrojag]

Well I think everyone is dumb. Girls have more power in these situations so their stupidity and poor choices are prominently displayed. But this world fucking sucks so if you somehow accomplish your dream so be it.

[Opinion Owner]

@Agrojag I lied. Girls are super intelligent. They have God-level intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Either he blackmailed her or she's a ___________.

[Asker]

he didn't blackmail and she's not a slut. I think that it was a weak moment for her (she kinda needed to get fucked), and since this guy fucked all her friends at work, she's not the only one stupid enough to do that.

[Opinion Owner]

"She kinda needed to get fucked" Then why do you question her private decision?